Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The other WikiLeaks revelations


10. In 2004, the US briefly entertained invading Argentina when the Argentines won the Olympic basketball gold.

9. Secret sauce? Ketchup and mayo.

8. Barack Obama not really black, only half black.

7. Citing national security, the CIA has hacked into Santa Claus' list.

6. Kim Jong Il, in exchange for ceasing their nuclear program, demands that fresh episodes of "Friends" be aired in North Korea.

5. Al Gore actually thought he invented the internet.

4. There are only 48 stars in the US flag. No one has just bothered to count.

3. Elvis is still somewhere in the building.

2. Victoria's Secret? She's a tranny.

1. US Secret Service codename for George W. Bush? Dumbass.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Secret shame


photo from here

Should I feel ashamed that I am a race traitor? Am I the only one?

Just once, I'd like to see the bull win the fight. Hey, in my defense, it's not like these matadors don't have it coming. Those tight pants alone deserve a good goring or two.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

What they will protest next


Militant student organizations have been protesting since Lapu Lapu killed Majellan (they figure, they would have done better using diplomacy). They will continue to protest... whatever it is government decides to do. Here's a list of what they will protest next.

1. Not enough visual aid in the RH Bill.

2. Un-fix the FPIC fuel line. Free diesel in Makati!

3. Regulate the oil industry. Oh wait, didn't we protest to deregulate that some time ago?

4. Not enough pork -- in pork and beans. Needs government regulation.

5. Smart Gilas basketball team sucks.

6. Joma Sison dies of natural causes -- while vacationing, err, on self-exile in the Netherlands.

7. Somebody hit the lotto jackpot already... the suspense is killing me.

8. Congressman Emmanuel Pacquiao should have gone for the kill and knocked out Antonio Margarito. Come on Manny, he would have lost an eye. He wouldn't have been killed.

9. The presidential comb over.

10. Free tuition fee in all state universities -- to all those not attending classes anyway.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Say no to Xmas


Hey, it's now less than a month before Christmas. Done your wishlist for Santa and gift-list for your ina-anaks yet? Or are you one of those hypnotized by SM's Christmas carols (since early September) and have actually started your holiday shopping 3 months ago?

That's all well and good, I guess. I've nothing against tradition. Let me remind, however, in the holiday rush, not to forget whose birthday it is. You might want to include Him in your list. So what's your gift to Him? It's not Xmas, after all, it's CHRISTmas.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

No buns


KFC Double Down sandwich

So KFC has recently announced that it has made a breakthrough in sandwich technology -- a bread-less meat sandwich. Imagine that! 

But questions: 

1. Is this still technically a sandwich? 

2. Was the UN and/or NATO informed about this new development? 

3. Is this not a violation of a charter in the Geneva convention?

Notice that in the TV ad launching this new product, you have MEN doing the spiel. But of course, KFC is no fool. This product is an action movie without a believable plot. A sports highlight reel without the boring parts. This is sex without foreplay. In other words, MEN will love it! And yes, I am now curious enough to want to try it. :)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Another brilliant ad from FB


ad from Facebook

Found another brilliant advertisement on my Facebook this morning. This must be from the same folks who created the videoke scoring mechanism that comments on mediocre efforts as "just a fun!" For the love of Shakespeare and all that is proper and correct, I really don't mind that that copy is so uninspired, but at least get the grammar straight. 

I fear that the internet is killing English. Check out the Yahoo news articles. Either the standards have been lowered to meet the "on-time" demand of the new medium, or these people are using an automatic translator yet to be perfected. Either way, it's just wrong.

Is jejemonism  now a world menace?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Not boring no more


Say what you will about the multi-titled San Antonio Spurs, but BORING should no longer be the adjective attached to them.

Desperate housewives much?

Friday, November 19, 2010

Lotto


First thing I'm gonna do when I win the half-billion-peso lotto jackpot is buy myself a tricycle. That way I no longer need to pay the exorbitant 14 peso fare for the short trip from the wet market to my apartment.

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"Pilipinas Kay Ganda". Clearly we have geniuses running the Department of Tourism. These people deserve to work in government.

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"Willing Willie" will wilt, I predict, under the intense competition on the prime time slot. Sure, the show posted big numbers when it opened. But that is an aberration. Nothing more than curiosity for a new thing. I am giving the thing 6 months.

What the geniuses at TV5 do not understand is, for households with only one or two TVs, once the amo gets home, the chima-ah no longer holds the remote. This is what prime time competition is all about.

If I have to explain to you why the chima-ah audience is crucial to Willie's success, then forget it, you will never understand.


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"PH ranks 4th on list with child prostitutes", according to the Inquirer news. Hey, I didn't even know that an Asian Games gold was at stake in this new sport. And yet again, we failed to eke out a medal finish. Try harder next time! Go team Pilipinas -- kay ganda!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Loosers


Far too many loosers on the internet right now who can't even spell loser. That's either a failure of the educational system (again) or not enough right fitting clothes in the world.



Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Random


The Philippine National Police recently announced that Santa Cops will not be patrolling the malls this Christmas season. Greatly disappointed. I was so looking forward to that. Which reminds me. I believe we need at least one more punctuation mark. Aside from periods, question marks, and exclamation points, we need one that indicates sarcasm.

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Much respect to Antonio Margarito. Mexicans should be proud of his effort. "I am Mexican, we fight to the end." was his only reason why he didn't quit when the final result of his fight with Manny was no longer in doubt. Floyd Mayweather should learn a thing or two about COURAGE from this man.

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Getting a little irritated with Facebook at the moment. The thing keeps on asking me "What's on your mind?" every time I log in.

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Curious, I checked out (founder of Facebook) Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook page after watching the movie "Social Network". Cool. Was a little embarrassed though by some Pinay commenting, "Visit the Philippines Mark, I will tour you."

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It is not really happiness if that "happiness" is still largely dependent on a comparison with someone else.


Monday, November 15, 2010

Mismatch


photo from here


And so it was, as every expert had predicted, a mismatch. And no, the mismatch was not for the bigger man. All of 20 pounds heavier and 4 1/2 inches longer, the tale of the tape was not enough to sway the expert opinion Margarito's way. And rightly so, for once again Manny Pacquiao proved that he is truly in a class all his own.

It was all over but the shouting as early as the fourth round when Manny drew blood -- a cut on Margarito's face that would eventually grow into an ugly mess before the final bell mercifully ended the one-sided slaughter. If you watch closely the latter rounds, you will find Manny tapping Margarito in the face and no longer really punching the taller/heavier Mexican champion, figuring he had already inflicted enough damage on his totally out-classed foe.

There was simply no way Margarito could have won this fight. He can not even find the elusive Manny inside the ring. By the time Margarito can load up for a super-welterweight power punch, Manny had already punched him three/four times and gone out of range.

And so, the question now is, is there no one else?

Barrera, Morales, Marquez, dela Hoya, Hatton; these are but some of the names that should have been shoo-ins for the boxing hall of fame, that is until they tangled with our champion. Now their once illustrious careers has been reduced into mere clips on Manny's highlight reel. Strange thing though, as I was watching the video highlights of Manny during the introductions, the Oscar dela Hoya clip is now no longer of him cringing helplessly on the ropes. The familiar video has been replaced with dela Hoya (still) helpless in the corner but with his back to the camera. The Golden Boy's influence in play perhaps? Understandable. No one wants the infamy of being the video insert for the phrase "and the agony of the defeat" (in the Gillete World of Sports opening billboard).

So once again, the question, who to fight next? Unless the loudmouth who once claimed he was the pound-for-pound best in the world can find his balls, sadly I am afraid, Manny has no more truly interesting fights left in his career -- and therefore should retire.

Manny, you have vanquished them all! There is no one else.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Inquirer sports


Two days straight now and the Inquirer headline is nothing but Pacman news. And since when did the number one broadsheet in the Philippines become a sports daily? I didn't get that memo. And mind you, the fight is not until tomorrow. So expect more of the same tomorrow -- maybe until Monday.

Well, ok, I got my (free) ticket (to a live viewing in a sports bar) booked for the thing since last Sunday. So I am not going to be a hypocrite about it -- I am just another Pacman fan. And yes, I guess we should all be thankful that something so inconsequential is hogging the headlines right now. I'll take this over some lunatic taking hostage a tourist bus any day. No news is still good news.

So let me dip my cup in the same kool aid as everyone else and just say, GO PACMAN!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

More Chikka Minute


Like the proverbial turd that simply won't flush, Willie is back -- and back with a vengeance. And on prime-time too. WTF?!

Reading the Inquirer news today, I've come to the sad conclusion that we are doomed to elect this idiot as president someday, or at least senator, given that Willing-Willie's rating is fast catching up to 24 Oras -- the top rating hardcore news on the same prime-time slot.

So ok, even if 24 Oras is more tabloid than broadsheet news. Whatever. News is still news. How can the average Juan and Juanna dela Cruz prefer something totally brainless over information that concern their lives? Are we, as a people, all brain-dead?

Wake up people!

And shame on you TV5! Pandering to the least common denominator instead of catering to our greatest common factor. May you all suffer perpetual boils on your asses until you rid your airtime off this scourge to our collective psyche.

As for GMA-7, I am giving you permission to fire all your cannons to fight this menace. If it means more Chikka Minute, then so be it.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Welcome to my blog


Manny Pacquiao uses Head and Shoulders
And thanks for sponsoring my blog Manny. I shall see you Sunday! Good luck.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Busy-ness


This is not an abandoned blog. 

I'm just real busy right now with, among other things, making my new apartment live-able (I moved back to the city last Wednesday). It's nearly there and the SO is very happy about it. But I need to fix everything by tomorrow because I will again go on a road trip, break of dawn, Tuesday morning. Be back Thursday or Friday. Then there is the Sunday whole-day thing with the new client. But hey, it's not so bad. Meeting will begin with the Pacquiao-Margarito fight and will end with the Formula race to be shown live in one of those plush Makati sports bars. Free food and drinks, yey! And yes, part of my new (second) job is to watch live sports coverages. Be blogging about those soon. Till then, I will let Zynga carry my blog. Believe it or not, I am still getting my hits if only because of Zynga. Who would've thunk it! :)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Zynga poker career update


10 millionth chip

Just made my 10 millionth chip last night (actually around 1 am this morning). So for all those who'd been harassing me that I don't deserve the title Zynga Poker Champion because I can't even get to 10 million, here's the proof! I was 6.8 million early this week, 8 million yesterday, 10 million today. And only because I've temporarily suspended giving chips to buddies for the week and not once played at the lower tables to chit-chat and play with buddies (miss me much buds?).

Of course, this only means that I need to get to 50 million next!


Monday, November 1, 2010

Wrong president


Someone ought to tell Ms. Carmen Mislang that she is serving under the wrong president. This is not the president that spends 1 million pesos on dinners. This is the president that eats hotdogs from sidewalk vendors.

Who crowned this social-climbing female dog, queen of the Philippines and thinks she can now tweet that the wine served in a state dinner sucks? Ms. Mislang, if you are going to post anything on a social networking site, go post pictures of yourself on Facebook doing model-like poses. That ought to be a good for a few laughs. But to INSULT another country because your royal palate was displeased, then PLEASE do the country a huge favor and stay home. Go duck yourself with the collection from your expensive wine cellar. No one cares.

Paalaala sa lahat ng naninilbihan sa gobyerno, may kasabihan sa Tagalog, ang BANGAW kahit pa nakatuntong  na sa kalabaw, BANGAW pa rin.

Where does PNoy get all these people?

(read for details)

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For the few of you who know me in real life, my dear kamag-anak inc., and friends from my Facebook account, please know that while I blog mostly about my life and my posts are made in the first person point of view, I do, from time to time, exercise literary license. Yes, I lie! Lol. No. Some of the stories depicted here are fiction. That I do not tell which is which, makes it a little more fun, doesn't it?

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Mungo Conspiracy would like to thank:

Kuya Bing for all the support without which I would not have been able to start this blog. My baby sister Charo, who has always been my number one fan. Gie for twisting Kuya Bing's arms to lend me support. Rocky for being the first follower. Chris for the free ad space on MTC.

I would also like to mention Kuya Jong and Kuya Rolly, Rex, Kim, and all of my pumpkins, Dustin, Innah, Jonas, Danwell, Glea, Jiro, Ram, Yzab, Hannah, and Annika, who are my inspirations for many of my stories here.

And thanks to the Iligan Chapter of the conspirators who were the first to fill-up my followers' box! :)

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email : mungoconspiracy@gmail.com