the mungo conspiracy

photo from here Has anyone else noticed how Unang Hirit's Love Anover has suddenly become sedate?  She used to be this in-your-face  irritating bundle of psychotic joy. A little too much adrenaline for the morning traffic news for my taste. But  personal preferences aside, what happened? Ah yes, she recently got married, right? And the honeymoon is over...  apparently.

photo from here Anyone else find it pathetic that Angel Locsin's longest relationship has been to her shampoo? The thought never even entered my mind. That is until she came up with the new shampoo commercial. Five years! Yeah that's a long time. But Angel, shampoos do not count! Try that with a boyfriend. What? Tonight, you are having a 5th anniversary dinner celebration with a bottle of your shampoo?

Doing this from a net cafe as Globe is now totally down. That means I have been practically incommunicado for the last 14 hours or so (since the meeting with a client yesterday). I just gave my commitment to a new project that requires me to have reliable internet access that will allow me to download in the gigabytes region. Globe is definitely not it. Aside from that, no blog update today. Blame Globe.  ----------------- Hey. I just noticed, I am the 4,000th visitor to my own blog. Lol.

Your daily conspiracy blog update was brought you by Globe's new error message. See above graphic. First time to get that. End result is the same, I can not register for SuperSurf. But at least, Globe entertains you with their new and innovative ways to FAIL. 

So, Zynga poker is not your thing? Can't break the 1 million barrier even after 1 year of trying? Well, Facebook has a new offering for you. It's like Farmville only with cards. You get to play "poker" without the fear of losing (see ad above). That's right folks, no more frustrations, no more battling the ugly bingo players. You're guaranteed not to lose. Sadly, it's not for me since I only play poker to crush the hopes and dreams of other players. If I can't beat them (since they can not lose), I just don't see the fun in that. But that's only because I'm a mean person deep down inside. But for the rest of you good folks, this might be the game for you. So stop begging for chips in Zynga and just play Loserville. Sorry I can't paste the link here for you to register. The thing wants me to register before I can access their site. And I'm not about to do that -- ever. Just google it people.

You read that right. Just shut the fuck up. As I am out of town since Monday evening, I can only watch the news from ABS-CBN. On last night's edition, a full segment of around 5 minutes or more was devoted to a feature on how responsible ABS-CBN was in handling the hostage crisis. Yeah right, responsible. And while you're at it, why not throw a few self congratulatory phrases right in there.  No. No. ABS-CBN, you don't get to wash your hands off on this one. Airing live what could have possibly triggered the rampage of that madman is NOT RESPONSIBLE in any book. And this type of tabloid journalism is not exactly new to you. Just a few weeks ago, you were even airing the "martyrdom" of that carnapping a-hole and his akyat-bahay buddy. That too was responsible? But lo and behold, just this morning, the infallible Karen Davila was grilling DILG Sec. Jesse Robredo on the poor tactics employed by the PNP. Alright fair enough. Monday morning quarterbackin...

printed screen from here I did not, in any way, photoshop that box caption from the Inquirer.net except to crop out the other parts of the page. Otherwise, that is exactly how it appeared on the breaking news page of the online edition of the Inquirer early afternoon yesterday. I'm sure they've updated the thing by now. Way to go Inquirer! You didn't miss the facts... by much. Hongkong Nationals do look like South Koreans. No difference at all. And who cares, right? Wait... is that another news altogether? If so, what's going on at the bottom of the box? That's related news? Here's a suggestion, STOP hiring comedians to do the serious news. It's not funny. I'm just saying... 

Google-search "images" with the keywords "zynga poker champion" and the result above is what you will find. Yes, people! As far as Mr. Google himself is concerned, I have enough Zynga poker creds to be on the top row, second from the left. Haha. I checked my analytics and found that I got hits because of that. I hope I didn't disappoint too much. They were probably looking for tips on how to win the shootouts. Sorry, I am not about to give my secrets away.  But hey, let me paint in broad strokes how I won the shootout three times in one month. Let me be clear, t his is not a "how to", this is a "how I did it". So don't you poker players start telling me you are a far better player or my tips suck. I won three times. And this is how I played it. Fair enough? 1. Fold on the first betting round of the first round. If you've been playing shootouts, you know what I mean. If you do not know how to win heads-up with 1,000 chips v...

Cartoon avatar of my BB Jean I made at osoq.com Everyday I pray and thank the Lord for this life He has given me. I know now my life is blessed. And I am sorry I ever doubted Him. In the times when my whole world seemed ready to completely collapse around me, I can only pray and ask Him "why?"  You, my love, are the Lord's answer.  I know my life is blessed for I have you. Happy birthday my BB Jean.

click here to access kCat's blog My dear fellow conspirators, please click on the link/caption above to access kCat's blog (or the link on the "conspirators' blogs"). Read her story (on "About Me") and know the reason why. And if you have a blog of your own, I urge you to add her blog as one of the blogs you follow. You might want to create one entry like this too. Thanks.

Graphic copied from here. There was a time, believe it or not, when the declaration on the graphic above was a fairly common sight in Metro Manila. Enough that it was a minor nuisance, like jejemons are right now, I suppose. From t-shirt prints, to vandalisms on walls, to fake tattoo s on prepubescent punkistas. Never mind that the declaration was total nonsense. It was popular. And so just about every lemming youth who wanted to be different -- like his peers, rode on the bandwagon. I wonder if these people ever learned the meaning of "irony"?  Where are they now? Did they grow up to become the guy whose job is to call passengers to fill up jeepneys? Did any of these punkistas ever make it as a bank executive? Are there call center agents now who ever wore a "punks not dead" t-shirt? I have not seen a t-shirt, a vandalism, or a fake "punks not dead" tattoo in years. Is punks finally dead? Is it safe to declare that here now? Alright. Let me...

Finally at midnight, the friggin thing worked and I am able to upload this. Globe should have just told us, the consumers, that SuperSurf is a midnight to dawn kinda deal.

Warning guys, the "dislike" button now spreading on Facebook is actually a malware. Do not subscribe/install it. That said, I have to give it to these guys. That was a really good idea! Facebook should pick it up. Yep, I myself would want a "dislike" button. What's the matter with Facebook that all it gives us is the "like" button? What if I don't like someone's update? "Just chillin out in Starbucks downloading Justin Bieber videos".  I have to like even that? Just between you and me, I'm on auto-ignore mode on most of my FB "friends". I just don't have the heart to "un-friend" someone.  So just give me another option Facebook. And hey, while you're at it, why don't you also give us the "invisible" option? I hate it when someone becomes chatty when I'm on the third and final round of the shootout in Zynga poker.

For 24 hrs I was unable to register for Globe's SuperSurf50 24 hour unlimited service. Read the conflicting messages above.  Hey you, Globe suit who does not know anything about programming, that is simply a coding error. Some genius in your IT department screwed up. Fix the bug, please! Your product works well when it works. Though not this past few days. I lost 2 million Zynga chips because of your fluctuating signal. Five times, at least, I got booted out when I already made the final three in the Sit N Go. Good thing Zynga chips are not real. And oh yeah, your customer service is totally useless. Why even bother with it? Save yourselves from paying their salaries and us customers from hoping that they will actually help us.  Oh, there is always another option of course. Get some people who can actually help.

The rule:   There are many variations and interpretations to the rule. Origina lly what the rule was, was that no woman should get in the way of real friendship between men. I am not too concerned with this interpretation. I think it is a little juvenile. Men who insist on this interpretation should grow up a little more, you think? What this blog post focuses on is the other variation of the rule, that a real man should give way to the romantic aspirations of a bro. That no two bros should go after one ho at the same time. Alright fine. Even as I believe that all is fair in love and war, I believe this is practical. So ok, I'm in. Clarifications and  Proposed Amendments: Before I move on further, I think we need to clarify some points. Foremost of which is, you need to be a bro before the rule applies. Calling first dibs on some hot chick is not enough.    Some casual acquaintance actually called first dibs on me on the hot new waitress of a restobar I freq...

photo taken from here Filipinos did not invent corruption in government . No sir. We learned that from the Europeans. And I believe England unearthed the first evidence of corruption in government -- Stonehenge (estimated to have been built around 3000 BC).  To this day, Mr. Harvard is still arguing with Mr. Oxford what the structure is all about. Of course we know better.  Stonehenge? That's ancient England's NAIA Terminal 3 that never got completed. What was supposed to be a modern coliseum when completed never went beyond the initial stages of construction as f unding never carried through the change in administrations. Corruption charges, I imagine, were filed with their version of the Ombuds(wo)man. But because she was appointed by the previous administration, no one suffered for it -- except the contractor who never got paid.

Girl gets abducted in a mall. Robbers strike a bank in the middle of the day. What's wrong with these news items?  Since when did legitimate frontpage news material become blind items? What's going on here? Why can't ABS-CBN and GMA say SM Megamall or BPI anymore?  What's with all the secrecy? Alright, I can understand if they refuse to mention Nike when they air a Lebron James interview (if Nike is not paying for the airtime), and would even make the extra effort of blurring out the Nike logo in the background. But believe me ABS-CBN and GMA, you are not advertising Megamall and/or BPI by telling us they got robbed or that a kid was abducted in their premises. Last time I checked, the people had the RIGHT TO INFORMATION. And a whole lot of journalists are willing to literally die for that. But as far as GMA and ABS-CBN managements are concerned, MONEY outweighs everything.  Ok fine, just don't shovel us the crap about journalistic integrity when you ca...

When my job takes me out of town, this is the usual scenery that greets me. Yes, I hate my life. If only because I so much prefer the traffic and smog of Metro Manila. Sunrise viewed from the national highway, San Felipe, Zambales. Sunset viewed from the beach, Bgy Sto. Nino, San Felipe, Zambales.  

According to Facebook's recommended pages, 8 of my friends like Kris Aquino-Yap. Alright people, just go ahead and admit it right now. No one needs to get hurt. Or do I really have to hunt you down? There is no way I can be friends with people who like Kris Aquino-Yap. Not even FB friends.

"US to expedite remaining 4,832 claims of RP war veteran" I copy-pasted that from the Inquirer.net. I don't know who wrote that, but "expedite" is not exactly the word I would have chosen. "Pinoy WW II vets will finally get paid" would have been my choice. Expedite? Sixty years of waiting is still "expedite"? Most of these vets are already six feet under. Go tell them it will finally be "expedited". Oh wait, they are no longer beneficiaries (nor their dependents). 

I always have a bag  ready  and  packed with a week's worth of clothes. That is because my job requires me to travel out of town on a moments' notice. It is hard and sometimes it gets to me. But as fringe benefits go, how's this for a view? Fernando Amorsolo himself couldn't have painted a better picture. San Narciso, Zambales

So, President Noynoy Aquino has finally taken official residence at the Bahay Pangarap. Former guest house close to the PSG quarters and technically, still within the Malacanang compound. Here's hoping that that is not all what Noynoy meant when he said "pwede na ulet mangarap". In another unrelated news, PNoy has fired the official astrologer -- err, meteorologist at the PAGASA, for predicting the weather oh so wrong. Here's a tip for the next PAGASA head, subscribe to cable and turn on to CNN. Problem solved.

On the ride back home yesterday, I saw on one of those humongous billboards lining up the NLEX, an advertisement for Chowking's new product, tender beef broccoli. Maybe I was just hungry on the very long ride yesterday, or maybe the picture was   just  really shot well, but  when I tried it out for lunch half an hour ago,  my great expectations for the new product was definitely not met. It was, ahmm, just ok. No big deal.  It was palatable, don't get me wrong. But the picture on the billboard promised me nothing less than total happiness. My hunger was sated, my curiosity was answered, but my expectations, unfulfilled. The meal in fact reminded me of an argument I once had with Chowking's crew on account of the picture of their pancit canton not meeting reality! The fools must've ordered one pancit from Max's and shot the picture as their own. Haha. Remember those? They are not doing that anymore. But something about the new billboard. I am not too sure wh...

Paging the Department of Health. Stop harrassing PNoy on his smoking habit and start paying attention to what's really threatening the health of the people -- DENGUE! It's the rainy season again, and I am sure, thousands will again be stricken with this terrible affliction. What are you fools doing about it? Going on TV announcing for the nth time what we already know? Yeah, that's very useful. Great job. You people deserve to be in government. If I may suggest a pro-active approach to solving the problem. A scientific solution to the problem (for once). So ok, what do we know about the disease? It is caused by mosquito bites. Not just any mosquito but a particular mosquito. What do we know about this mosquito? It lays its eggs on still and clean water. So there you go. Take one element out of the equation, then you've got the problem solved. The DoH has already tried removing the water out of the equation. Was it successful? No. So that's not it. So I propose ...

Because I never really paid attention to it, not even with all the scantily clad girls dancing beerhouse style, I just found out now that Wowowee is dead and that Willie Revillame is out of a job.  Alright! The wheels of justice is really grinding in the PNoy administration. I don't care about the details, people. Please just tell me where to send the thank you note.

Long day. I am tired (and handsome). Too tired to even celebrate properly my 3,000th visitor  (according to sitemeter)  which happened today. Here's a lame "yipee!"  I hope to come up with a better blog update tomorrow. :)

I had recently discovered on youtube, Ninoy Aquino's speech in Los Angeles , delivered 2 years before he embarked on that fateful last journey. That got me thinking, do kids too young to have watched the bootleg version of that on betamax even understand what that video really means? The entire speech is uploaded over the internet (competing for attention against the viral videos of "blowjob girl" and the like) so I don't mean that in the literal sense. What I mean is, do kids today understand the historical context of that video? That that video, at the time, was subversive material? That to get caught with a copy of that can land you in jail? No possibility of bail, not even a trial. That was how it was. That was Martial Law. I was born in the eye of the First Quarter Storm. I had known no other president other than Marcos and have never even heard Ninoy Aquino speak. So when Ninoy got shot at the airport, I didn't really know what to think of it. He wa...