Monday, November 28, 2011

Shoe business


The trick used to be to price items 5 centavos less than the actual selling price. 999.95 pesos instead of 1,000 pesos. The idea is to soften the sticker shock somewhat. And it worked until people realized that the cashier is never going to give you your 5 centavos back. Not voluntarily anyway. Of course, if the cashier is cute enough, I am that guy who insists I get my 5 centavos -- if only so I can chat her up longer.

Today, I go to the grocery store and I see items being sold per half kilo. What's going on here? Since when did 1/2 become a unit? Pricier items like tiger prawns are in fact being sold per 1/4 kilo. Are these people serious? Surely this is by design. They are lying to us via fractions. They figure it's harder for Juan to complain if  he is tasked to do mental fractions. I am just crossing my fingers that the Big Three oil companies do not resort to this tactic and start selling diesel per half liter. Or Meralco, per half a kilowatt hour.

But you know what? I'm going into a side business myself. I'll be selling men's and ladies' shoes this Christmas shopping season. Knock-offs from China that I assure you is just as good as the original. Just message me if you are interested. I'll be selling them at 999.95 pesos per shoe.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Dear Dato


Let me explain something to you. Perhaps, you are a little confused, but "tapang ng apog" is not the same as bravery. Apparently, you have inherited the same "tapang" from your mother. It takes nothing less than that same "tapang" to continue to sit as representative of a congressional district carved out of nothing to benefit you. Knowing that you are nothing but a manicurista appointed to the board.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Philippine ex-pres flies to Singapore


I am not lying. This is all true. While the media attention was focused at the St. Luke's hospital for the serving of the arrest warrant on ex-president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, ex-president Joseph "Erap" Estrada slipped out of the country and flew to the city-state of Singapore. You gotta love this guy. All that for a joke, I am almost sure.

And hey, please tell me. I am not really that familiar with police arrest protocol. But is it standard operating procedure to cuff suspects on the neck?

Friday, November 18, 2011

The King of Kong


If you have an hour twenty minutes to spare, this is one documentary you should definitely watch. Trust me. Even if you do not like video games this is one movie worth watching till the end credits. See for yourself if by mid-movie you still have not started caring who owns the world record in Donkey Kong. 



Monday, November 14, 2011

Clear winner


I am aware of my own bias. Yes, I want our own Manny Pacquiao to win the fight. But because of this awareness, know that I am making a conscious effort to not let this bias taint my opinion. That said, I honestly believe that Pacquiao clearly won that fight against the game challenger Juan Manuel Marquez.

1. CompuBox scoring had Manny Pacquiao ahead. Here is the link. Juan Manuel Marquez was ahead slightly in the first half of the fight. But Manny clearly scored more power punches in the latter rounds. Marquez was wailing wildly and missing badly near the end of the fight. Watch the video again.

2. For rounds too close to call, judges usually reward and give the round to the aggressor and not the counter-puncher. There are at least 4 rounds that may be deemed "too close to call". And who was the aggressor in the fight? Who was constantly pushing forward?

3. Manny Pacquiao was the defending champion. Champions only need to defend their crowns. Challengers need to take it away from the champion. Did Juan Manuel Marquez do enough to take it away from Manny? Hmmmm... no. Even if the CompuBox stats were reversed, Manny would still deserve to retain the crown. Challengers need to win convincingly. Close fights, champions retain their crowns.

4. If you are unable to knock-out your opponent, the rule of professional boxing states that you go to do the judges' score cards (and not ask the opinion of the spectators). So Marquez fans can cry all they want, but they do not get to decide. And oh yeah, fighters do not get to choose the judges, but they have the power to disapprove the selection of a judge (in pre-fight negotiations). So whoever those judges were, Juan Manuel Marquez' camp approved them.

5. Then there is the useless observation that Manny behaved like he had lost, because he looked really disappointed after the bell had rung for the end of the 12th  round, while Marquez was raising his hands in jubilation. Of course Manny was disappointed. He wanted to knock Marquez out. And Marquez was just too happy to have once again stood toe-to-toe with the undisputed pound for pound king. Imagine Barangay Ginebra losing by just 3 points against the LA Lakers. Wouldn't they celebrate that loss too?

Finally, huwag kayong magulo. Pag ako naasar, ako na mismo ang lalaban kay Marquez. :)


Saturday, November 12, 2011

Your move, SC




So yeah, part of me feels sorry for little Yoda. But wait, I get the feeling that this is all carefully staged and part of a sinister plan. "Sorry" is exactly how I am supposed to feel.

Question. Why can't she file a final intenerary for that proposed medical trip? Could it be that she is going elsewhere? Rendezvouz to another location that she can not now reveal? Look a little closer at the picture. "Escape" is the least of our problems.

As a citizen of this planet, I feel it is my duty to remind the Supreme Court of the Philippines that this Jedi has gone over to the dark side. Honorable Justices, I beseech you, the possibility is very real. She may be trying to link up to the mothership for the final installment on her armor --  and come back as Darth Vader.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Empathy


Why am I not moved? Why do I feel no empathy for these people now trying to gain public sympathy? On one side there is that mother of 9 bastards, at least two of which are suspected to have participated in the murder of their kuya so they can afford themselves a bigger slice of that 1M php monthly allowance pie. Then there is the former fake president who've recently released photos of herself, clearly designed to generate public sympathy. I wish she would read the public's reaction on the inquirer.net so she can see for herself how well that went.

No. No. No.

Making yourself look pathetic in photos and/or press releases is not enough to gain public sympathy. Not in this day and age. Not when everytime one goes out anywhere in Metro Manila, one is constantly confronted by street kids begging for coins. We are all constantly bombarded by images and smells much more pathetic than your lame attempts. And if by these constant bombardments our hearts have grown cold and unsympathetic to your woes, do not blame us. This country is the way it is in large part because of people like you.

But try this and maybe our cold hearts might be moved a little. If you can paint an honest picture of yourself, that there is/was some goodness in you, then maybe, just maybe, the heart of the public might soften a little. But can you, Genelyn? Can you Gloria?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Actually


Senator Tito Sotto of "Eat Bulaga" fame was quoted this morning on the Philippine Daily Inquirer that the 7 billionth baby should not be made the poster child of the RH bill. Actually, he is right. Actually, the poster boy of the RH bill should be one Ramon Bautista, aka Kapitan Inggo, aka Former Senator Ramon Revilla Sr. Actually, if that story wasn't so tragic this might be funny. When actually it is not. But actually, this being such a boring day, I've decided to actually overuse the word "actually" like some semi-literate lunatic. It is actually quite annoying. I know -- actually.


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For the few of you who know me in real life, my dear kamag-anak inc., and friends from my Facebook account, please know that while I blog mostly about my life and my posts are made in the first person point of view, I do, from time to time, exercise literary license. Yes, I lie! Lol. No. Some of the stories depicted here are fiction. That I do not tell which is which, makes it a little more fun, doesn't it?

No animals were harmed in the production of this blog. Parental guidance is advised. And no approved therapeutic claims. Hindi ito gamot.

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Mungo Conspiracy would like to thank:

Kuya Bing for all the support without which I would not have been able to start this blog. My baby sister Charo, who has always been my number one fan. Gie for twisting Kuya Bing's arms to lend me support. Rocky for being the first follower. Chris for the free ad space on MTC.

I would also like to mention Kuya Jong and Kuya Rolly, Rex, Kim, and all of my pumpkins, Dustin, Innah, Jonas, Danwell, Glea, Jiro, Ram, Yzab, Hannah, and Annika, who are my inspirations for many of my stories here.

And thanks to the Iligan Chapter of the conspirators who were the first to fill-up my followers' box! :)

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email : mungoconspiracy@gmail.com