Thursday, December 30, 2010

Episode IV



Episode IV: A new hope, was how the Star Wars epic journey began. Not Episode I, which will come much later on, but Episode IV. And as the opening intro-credits rolled out into the infinite nothingness of space, the camera panned to an empire battle cruiser chasing after a small rebel ship. We are, without any warning, right smack in the middle of it.

The genius that George Lucas was, Star Wars was a recognition that life's real stories rarely begins neatly with a slow opening where the plot is set-up and the main characters introduced.

This is where we find ourselves entering a new decade, with renewed hope. For we have, by way of ballot, already done the hard part.

Daunting tasks still lay ahead of us, of course. The old empire still casts a mighty dark shadow and the war not yet won. And we can not, as the Jedi Master Yoda would put it, just try. For in real life, you do or you do not, there is no try.

Here's to new beginnings. To new hopes. To the new decade. Happy new year everyone!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Predictions


It's nearly that time of year again, so let me go ahead with my own predictions.

Both Unang Hirit and Umagang Kay Ganda, will have at least one new year episode with psychics doing their thing. How cliche can you get? I am hoping against hope that at least they would give it some twist. How about inviting back those who've made predictions for 2010 and scrutinize their accuracy? Or how about, just thinking out loud here, these supposed news programs get financial experts that can make predictions on the business prospects on the upcoming fiscal year? But that would be hoping for too much, I guess. Peddling stupidity is the current norm. And I predict more of the same stupidity for the coming year.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

15 minutes


Another "expert" noticed yet another "error" on the new peso bills. Whale sharks are not exclusive to the Philippines, so went his logic, and therefore should not be included in the peso bills. Huwaaaaat? How's that again? Where in the new 100 peso bill did we even lay claim that we owned the exclusive patent to Butandings?

Hmmm... volcanoes are not exclusive to the Philippines, get rid of that. People gathered together in a crowd, not our invention, get rid of it. And oh, we should tell Canada to change their flag since maple trees do not grow exclusively in Canada. We once had the coconut tree on our coin, that was a big mistake!

Who the duck are these people? They're all coming out of the woodwork all of the sudden it seems. All laying claim to their 15 minutes of fame. Well ok,  great. You got your names in print. Go clip that from your Inquirer, save it, and take it with you to your grave. Congratulations! You are now famous. Whoever the duck you are.

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Look, simple point I want to make, if you are going to protest something, or point out errors on something, make that something -- oh, I don't know, how about, SUBSTANTIAL. And it is not like we have a dearth of somethings to protest about. You've got the Supreme Court still protecting La Gloria and her family. The Ombudsman just gave that corrupt general a free pass. Etcetera, etcetera.  And you are worried that the Butanding is on the new 100 peso bill?

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Interesting footnote; when the Inquirer published the first "error" story on the new peso bills, my pageviews got almost 200 more than normal (because of my entry on the subject).  I am getting another boost from the Butanding "error" story. So thanks for the page hits, I guess, you sorry nitpicking losers.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Happy Valentines everyone


I don't know exactly how it works -- the governing rules, the rhyme or reason to it all. But tomorrow is a holiday by reason of Holiday Economics.

So happy Valentines Day everyone.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Namamasko po!

Merry Christmas...
happy new year!

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Overwhelmed by the last minute Noche Buena grocery shopping I've decided to take the supermarket owner's association's advise and do it earlier. Next time, I'll do the grocery shopping December 24 -- one year early.

Monday, December 20, 2010

More errors on the new peso bills found


image from here
Critics were furious as they continued to discover more errors on the new edition of the Philippine peso bills.

"I met Ninoy Aquino when he was still alive. He was not monochromatic. He was three dimensional and he was not that small!" cried one critic. How the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas have committed this oversight is simply outrageous. Surely they've seen video footages of Ninoy and Cory. And I am sure, even the long dead heroes are themselves not monochromatic and two dimensional.

How can we trust the banking system now when the Bangko Sentral apparently can not accurately depict known facts? While the long dead heroes are subject to debate, it is common knowledge that Ninoy and Cory were full-sized three dimensional non-monochromatic people. How could they have done this? And to think that they would commit this grievous error now when the son, Noynoy, is the president.

How things have changed simply because of a new president. Back in the day of Gloria, the BSP was accurate enough to have spelled her name right, "Arrovo".

Friday, December 17, 2010

Unforgiven


If not Hubert and company then who?

This is the question that's bugging the minds of all those old enough to remember the heinousness of it all. One nondescript family living their quiet middle-class lives slaughtered in one night of sheer madness. No rhyme. No reason. Just pure evil.

That mainstream media has forgotten how it was so, comforts no one. Least of all, the father, Lauro. For now the man found guilty beyond reasonable doubt by both the lower and appellate courts can buy new pants in a mall. And media will be there to cover it. It has become just another fluff story, relegated to the same category of Ding Dong professing his eternal love for Marian.

My heart bleeds, for justice has not been served. And apparently, will not be served. The Supreme Court has spoken. And that is the end of it. Crime and no punishment. Not from the Philippine courts, anyway.

There is still, however, the Most Supreme Court of all. The final Arbiter from Whom we can not lie. No more alibis. No more missing semen samples. No more destroyed evidences.

No one gets away with bloody murder. The universe will not allow it. And forgiveness is only for those who've made their acts of contrition.

We all have to believe this to be so.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

No tears for Katrina




Almost totally lost and ignored in the din of the recent Supreme Court decision to acquit Hubert Webb and company was the acquittal of Hayden Kho in the case filed against him by Katrina Halili.

Senator Bong Revilla was quick to comfort the fallen actress with the statement that all women suffered this injustice with Katrina Halili.

Hmmmm... really?  Maybe. But with some slight modification on that statement please Honorable Senator.

Let us not forget, she willingly went to bed with Hayden Kho -- whom she knew was then the boyfriend of her erstwhile BFF and sponsor, Vicki Belo. So she was the kabit. Please. This is an injustice shared by all of the kabits.

I saw the video, I am not going to deny it. She enjoyed it.

There is way too much injustice going on in the world right now. I have no tears for this martyr who's only sorry she got caught.

DESERVED.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Wikileaks: Update



A few days back I posted, tongue firmly in cheek, that one of the Wikileaks new revelations is that North Korea demanded that fresh episodes of "Friends" be aired. Well, the truth, apparently, is way stranger and funnier than fiction. Click on the link below.

North Korea campaigned for Eric Clapton performance, cable reveals 

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Please just stop


Remember how a few weeks back I blogged that I was getting a little pissed with Facebook for constantly asking me "what's on your mind?" Well I guess my good friend, Mark Zuckerberg, is a secret conspirator and reads my blog. I don't want to take full credit, but notice how Facebook has done away with the constant nagging. It's still out there somewhere, but no longer so in your face. Jejemons can still document every pathetic detail of their jejelives if they so choose.

So what's on my mind right now? Relieved. Thank you Mark.

Now, if only I can get that stupid 8070 lyric manalo promo to stop texting my Smart phone, life would be just perfect. Believe me, I never registered for the darned stupid promo and even naively tried the stop option which only made it worse. The friggin thing texts me twice a day now. Somebody do something and make it stop!

Memo to Senator Juan "Gusto ko happy ka" Enrile: I am not happy. Please draft a law that would punish promoters of such constant irritation to 20 years of reading junk text messages.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Beware of dog




They couldn't have picked a better name, homeless and unloved, these Azkals were never given a chance and was considered by the experts as merely a warm-up match for the traditional footballing nations in Southeast Asia. Practically a bye for teams Singapore, and of course, the defending champion and host Vietnam. So pathetic has been our previous participation in this tourney, once named Tiger Cup now renamed AFF Suzuki Cup, that the betting is not whether we will win or lose, but by how much we will lose. And lose we have mastered, by as much 13. That's akin to losing by 200 points in basketball.

We are not even supposed to be in the tournament, let alone tie or win a match. But saling-tuta or not, these crazy bunch would dare go. No fear of failure. Embarrassment be damned. They will do their darnedest -- for love of country and the glory of the game.

And when they tied Singapore (1-1),  embarrassed the host nation Vietnam (2-0), and secured a place in the semis by tying Myanmar (0-0), the Cinderella story is now nearly complete. Just the semis to win against Indonesia and we'll be in the finals. And our brave rabid pugs will have to do it away and away, having no home. Just another fly in the hopelessly infested ointment. But if any team can do it, I know this team can. No excuses, no multi-million contracts, no egos. These dogs simply go about their business and bite!

Go AZKALS!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Utak kuliglig


Eight out of every ten Filipinos support PNoy's administration according to the latest survey. This is in spite of the "experts" continuing their attack on the "amateur" PNoy government.

And who are these "experts"?

One congressman whose infamy includes getting all of congress to work overtime to pass the (failed) cha-cha initiative when a super typhoon was ravaging his constituency.

One senator who chaired the blue ribbon committee chairman and saw NOTHING at all wrong in the nine years of PGMA's reign.

These are the "experts" leading the charge.

With apologies to the kuliglig drivers, who want nothing more than a means of livelihood, but these experts are one with them in mentality. It matters not, whether a policy will benefit the many, or if it is against the law or common sense. What matters is "Eh ano naman ang sa akin? Ano ang pakinabang ko?"

Utak kuliglig. Walang pake kung tama o mali, basta ang kita ko ang dapat maproteksyonan.

So sure, the PNoy admin bungles in it's "amateur" attempts to DO WHAT IS RIGHT. But you know what? I am one of the 8 for every 10 Pinoys who would rather take that amateurism than the expertise by which our country was raped in the previous admin. So expert apparently, that they've embedded stooges that will continue to protect them even when they're no longer in Malacanang.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Pride



Ask me if I am proud of my country and I will tell you that you are asking me the wrong question.

Am I proud that 25 years after Edsa the Marcoses are back in power? Maybe not the presidency, but they are definitely back.

Am I proud of our PNP? The bus episode would have been really funny except that Bitoy didn't reveal himself in the end.

Am I proud that our government is known in the world as one of the most corrupt? So corrupt that our chief export is now manual labor?

Am I proud that hunger exists at all in a country so blessed that kamoteng kahoy will grow anywhere one would care to stick a cutting in the ground and not even bother to take care of it?

Am I proud that a despicable noon-time tv host is allowed to resurrect his career on primetime? And that our local televiewing choice has all but been reduced to either that despicable host or a Koreanovela, or worse, a local remake of a Koreanovela?

I can go on and on with this list. But I've sufficiently made the point. Pride at this point in our history would be false. Drink a cup of reality coffee in the morning, I'd advise you.

Don't get me wrong. There are a few bright spots we can genuinely be proud of. Manny Pacquiao for one. Charice Pempengco another. And maybe a few more makes the short list. But that's just the point. The bright spots are too few and far between.

So ask me another question.

Do I love my country?

Yes. Definitely. And I will tell you why.

I love that, as a people, we are able to forgive. Not always a positive attribute, as in the case of the Marcoses, but there it is, we forgive. We don't hold grudges.

I love that we've successfully deposed of two presidents with minimal blood shed. More people die when the Bulls win championships for Chicago. We are a kind people. Violence, as in the case of the terrorist Abu Sayyafs, is rightly condemned as so "UN-FILIPINO" -- not that the Abus want to be known as Filipinos in the first place.

I love that we can lose everything but never our ability to smile. Even in misery, we smile. It might not make sense to another nationality but as a Filipino we all know what that is all about. Life is hard. We've come to terms with it. We are not going to let that little fact bring us down any more than it has to. We are alright.

There are pros and there are cons to being Filipino. But I was making this list, I've come to this realization. I love my country for almost the same exact reason I love my mother. I know she is not the best mother in the world. I know all her faults. She may embarrass me at times. But warts and all, I love her -- simply because she is my mother.

And what is so important about this love, you ask? I love her enough that I want to make her proud.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Facebook status


my latest Facebook update

It's the internet equivalent of "I have to tell you something, but first promise me you won't get mad."



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

And the survey says...


from the Inquirer.net

This is not a joke. The magic number for the RH Bill is actually 69. 

No, read that correctly, 69 is not the suggested natural method of birth control. That's 69 percent of the population favors the RH bill. 

Apparently, the people of Pulse Asia didn't go to high school. I would have rounded off the number to 70, just to avoid the confusion.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The other WikiLeaks revelations


10. In 2004, the US briefly entertained invading Argentina when the Argentines won the Olympic basketball gold.

9. Secret sauce? Ketchup and mayo.

8. Barack Obama not really black, only half black.

7. Citing national security, the CIA has hacked into Santa Claus' list.

6. Kim Jong Il, in exchange for ceasing their nuclear program, demands that fresh episodes of "Friends" be aired in North Korea.

5. Al Gore actually thought he invented the internet.

4. There are only 48 stars in the US flag. No one has just bothered to count.

3. Elvis is still somewhere in the building.

2. Victoria's Secret? She's a tranny.

1. US Secret Service codename for George W. Bush? Dumbass.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Secret shame


photo from here

Should I feel ashamed that I am a race traitor? Am I the only one?

Just once, I'd like to see the bull win the fight. Hey, in my defense, it's not like these matadors don't have it coming. Those tight pants alone deserve a good goring or two.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

What they will protest next


Militant student organizations have been protesting since Lapu Lapu killed Majellan (they figure, they would have done better using diplomacy). They will continue to protest... whatever it is government decides to do. Here's a list of what they will protest next.

1. Not enough visual aid in the RH Bill.

2. Un-fix the FPIC fuel line. Free diesel in Makati!

3. Regulate the oil industry. Oh wait, didn't we protest to deregulate that some time ago?

4. Not enough pork -- in pork and beans. Needs government regulation.

5. Smart Gilas basketball team sucks.

6. Joma Sison dies of natural causes -- while vacationing, err, on self-exile in the Netherlands.

7. Somebody hit the lotto jackpot already... the suspense is killing me.

8. Congressman Emmanuel Pacquiao should have gone for the kill and knocked out Antonio Margarito. Come on Manny, he would have lost an eye. He wouldn't have been killed.

9. The presidential comb over.

10. Free tuition fee in all state universities -- to all those not attending classes anyway.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Say no to Xmas


Hey, it's now less than a month before Christmas. Done your wishlist for Santa and gift-list for your ina-anaks yet? Or are you one of those hypnotized by SM's Christmas carols (since early September) and have actually started your holiday shopping 3 months ago?

That's all well and good, I guess. I've nothing against tradition. Let me remind, however, in the holiday rush, not to forget whose birthday it is. You might want to include Him in your list. So what's your gift to Him? It's not Xmas, after all, it's CHRISTmas.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

No buns


KFC Double Down sandwich

So KFC has recently announced that it has made a breakthrough in sandwich technology -- a bread-less meat sandwich. Imagine that! 

But questions: 

1. Is this still technically a sandwich? 

2. Was the UN and/or NATO informed about this new development? 

3. Is this not a violation of a charter in the Geneva convention?

Notice that in the TV ad launching this new product, you have MEN doing the spiel. But of course, KFC is no fool. This product is an action movie without a believable plot. A sports highlight reel without the boring parts. This is sex without foreplay. In other words, MEN will love it! And yes, I am now curious enough to want to try it. :)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Another brilliant ad from FB


ad from Facebook

Found another brilliant advertisement on my Facebook this morning. This must be from the same folks who created the videoke scoring mechanism that comments on mediocre efforts as "just a fun!" For the love of Shakespeare and all that is proper and correct, I really don't mind that that copy is so uninspired, but at least get the grammar straight. 

I fear that the internet is killing English. Check out the Yahoo news articles. Either the standards have been lowered to meet the "on-time" demand of the new medium, or these people are using an automatic translator yet to be perfected. Either way, it's just wrong.

Is jejemonism  now a world menace?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Not boring no more


Say what you will about the multi-titled San Antonio Spurs, but BORING should no longer be the adjective attached to them.

Desperate housewives much?

Friday, November 19, 2010

Lotto


First thing I'm gonna do when I win the half-billion-peso lotto jackpot is buy myself a tricycle. That way I no longer need to pay the exorbitant 14 peso fare for the short trip from the wet market to my apartment.

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"Pilipinas Kay Ganda". Clearly we have geniuses running the Department of Tourism. These people deserve to work in government.

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"Willing Willie" will wilt, I predict, under the intense competition on the prime time slot. Sure, the show posted big numbers when it opened. But that is an aberration. Nothing more than curiosity for a new thing. I am giving the thing 6 months.

What the geniuses at TV5 do not understand is, for households with only one or two TVs, once the amo gets home, the chima-ah no longer holds the remote. This is what prime time competition is all about.

If I have to explain to you why the chima-ah audience is crucial to Willie's success, then forget it, you will never understand.


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"PH ranks 4th on list with child prostitutes", according to the Inquirer news. Hey, I didn't even know that an Asian Games gold was at stake in this new sport. And yet again, we failed to eke out a medal finish. Try harder next time! Go team Pilipinas -- kay ganda!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Loosers


Far too many loosers on the internet right now who can't even spell loser. That's either a failure of the educational system (again) or not enough right fitting clothes in the world.



Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Random


The Philippine National Police recently announced that Santa Cops will not be patrolling the malls this Christmas season. Greatly disappointed. I was so looking forward to that. Which reminds me. I believe we need at least one more punctuation mark. Aside from periods, question marks, and exclamation points, we need one that indicates sarcasm.

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Much respect to Antonio Margarito. Mexicans should be proud of his effort. "I am Mexican, we fight to the end." was his only reason why he didn't quit when the final result of his fight with Manny was no longer in doubt. Floyd Mayweather should learn a thing or two about COURAGE from this man.

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Getting a little irritated with Facebook at the moment. The thing keeps on asking me "What's on your mind?" every time I log in.

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Curious, I checked out (founder of Facebook) Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook page after watching the movie "Social Network". Cool. Was a little embarrassed though by some Pinay commenting, "Visit the Philippines Mark, I will tour you."

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It is not really happiness if that "happiness" is still largely dependent on a comparison with someone else.


Monday, November 15, 2010

Mismatch


photo from here


And so it was, as every expert had predicted, a mismatch. And no, the mismatch was not for the bigger man. All of 20 pounds heavier and 4 1/2 inches longer, the tale of the tape was not enough to sway the expert opinion Margarito's way. And rightly so, for once again Manny Pacquiao proved that he is truly in a class all his own.

It was all over but the shouting as early as the fourth round when Manny drew blood -- a cut on Margarito's face that would eventually grow into an ugly mess before the final bell mercifully ended the one-sided slaughter. If you watch closely the latter rounds, you will find Manny tapping Margarito in the face and no longer really punching the taller/heavier Mexican champion, figuring he had already inflicted enough damage on his totally out-classed foe.

There was simply no way Margarito could have won this fight. He can not even find the elusive Manny inside the ring. By the time Margarito can load up for a super-welterweight power punch, Manny had already punched him three/four times and gone out of range.

And so, the question now is, is there no one else?

Barrera, Morales, Marquez, dela Hoya, Hatton; these are but some of the names that should have been shoo-ins for the boxing hall of fame, that is until they tangled with our champion. Now their once illustrious careers has been reduced into mere clips on Manny's highlight reel. Strange thing though, as I was watching the video highlights of Manny during the introductions, the Oscar dela Hoya clip is now no longer of him cringing helplessly on the ropes. The familiar video has been replaced with dela Hoya (still) helpless in the corner but with his back to the camera. The Golden Boy's influence in play perhaps? Understandable. No one wants the infamy of being the video insert for the phrase "and the agony of the defeat" (in the Gillete World of Sports opening billboard).

So once again, the question, who to fight next? Unless the loudmouth who once claimed he was the pound-for-pound best in the world can find his balls, sadly I am afraid, Manny has no more truly interesting fights left in his career -- and therefore should retire.

Manny, you have vanquished them all! There is no one else.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Inquirer sports


Two days straight now and the Inquirer headline is nothing but Pacman news. And since when did the number one broadsheet in the Philippines become a sports daily? I didn't get that memo. And mind you, the fight is not until tomorrow. So expect more of the same tomorrow -- maybe until Monday.

Well, ok, I got my (free) ticket (to a live viewing in a sports bar) booked for the thing since last Sunday. So I am not going to be a hypocrite about it -- I am just another Pacman fan. And yes, I guess we should all be thankful that something so inconsequential is hogging the headlines right now. I'll take this over some lunatic taking hostage a tourist bus any day. No news is still good news.

So let me dip my cup in the same kool aid as everyone else and just say, GO PACMAN!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

More Chikka Minute


Like the proverbial turd that simply won't flush, Willie is back -- and back with a vengeance. And on prime-time too. WTF?!

Reading the Inquirer news today, I've come to the sad conclusion that we are doomed to elect this idiot as president someday, or at least senator, given that Willing-Willie's rating is fast catching up to 24 Oras -- the top rating hardcore news on the same prime-time slot.

So ok, even if 24 Oras is more tabloid than broadsheet news. Whatever. News is still news. How can the average Juan and Juanna dela Cruz prefer something totally brainless over information that concern their lives? Are we, as a people, all brain-dead?

Wake up people!

And shame on you TV5! Pandering to the least common denominator instead of catering to our greatest common factor. May you all suffer perpetual boils on your asses until you rid your airtime off this scourge to our collective psyche.

As for GMA-7, I am giving you permission to fire all your cannons to fight this menace. If it means more Chikka Minute, then so be it.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Welcome to my blog


Manny Pacquiao uses Head and Shoulders
And thanks for sponsoring my blog Manny. I shall see you Sunday! Good luck.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Busy-ness


This is not an abandoned blog. 

I'm just real busy right now with, among other things, making my new apartment live-able (I moved back to the city last Wednesday). It's nearly there and the SO is very happy about it. But I need to fix everything by tomorrow because I will again go on a road trip, break of dawn, Tuesday morning. Be back Thursday or Friday. Then there is the Sunday whole-day thing with the new client. But hey, it's not so bad. Meeting will begin with the Pacquiao-Margarito fight and will end with the Formula race to be shown live in one of those plush Makati sports bars. Free food and drinks, yey! And yes, part of my new (second) job is to watch live sports coverages. Be blogging about those soon. Till then, I will let Zynga carry my blog. Believe it or not, I am still getting my hits if only because of Zynga. Who would've thunk it! :)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Zynga poker career update


10 millionth chip

Just made my 10 millionth chip last night (actually around 1 am this morning). So for all those who'd been harassing me that I don't deserve the title Zynga Poker Champion because I can't even get to 10 million, here's the proof! I was 6.8 million early this week, 8 million yesterday, 10 million today. And only because I've temporarily suspended giving chips to buddies for the week and not once played at the lower tables to chit-chat and play with buddies (miss me much buds?).

Of course, this only means that I need to get to 50 million next!


Monday, November 1, 2010

Wrong president


Someone ought to tell Ms. Carmen Mislang that she is serving under the wrong president. This is not the president that spends 1 million pesos on dinners. This is the president that eats hotdogs from sidewalk vendors.

Who crowned this social-climbing female dog, queen of the Philippines and thinks she can now tweet that the wine served in a state dinner sucks? Ms. Mislang, if you are going to post anything on a social networking site, go post pictures of yourself on Facebook doing model-like poses. That ought to be a good for a few laughs. But to INSULT another country because your royal palate was displeased, then PLEASE do the country a huge favor and stay home. Go duck yourself with the collection from your expensive wine cellar. No one cares.

Paalaala sa lahat ng naninilbihan sa gobyerno, may kasabihan sa Tagalog, ang BANGAW kahit pa nakatuntong  na sa kalabaw, BANGAW pa rin.

Where does PNoy get all these people?

(read for details)

Saturday, October 30, 2010

About me (4)



Allergies.


I am lactose intolerant. Not too bad though, I can get away with cream on my coffee, even eating some ice cream. But anything more than a small amount would give me indigestion.

I am allergic to dust, pollen, and most alcohol based perfumes. They give me sneezing fits. Alcohol based perfumes is of particular annoyance when I am in confined spaces. And because there are people who insist on using these perfumes, knowing full well of my condition, it can be said that I am allergic to some people.

I am allergic to strong detergents, adhesives, and even diesel fumes. When I wash clothes (even if I use the washing machine) my hands get itchy to the point that it becomes flaky and it bleeds. I used to be a video editor. When I was still using the linear editing machines, I needed to constantly label and re-label tapes -- a simple enough task if not for the fact that it required me to touch adhesive tapes. That was a pain.

I used to wear an earring. I can not wear anything less than 14K gold. Hypo-allergenic fakes will not do.

I have to wear my socks low otherwise my calves would get all itchy. I was really baduy in high school because of this. Ankle-high socks were still considered then a female thing (damn Samboy Lim for making knee-high socks a thing!). I am glad that wearing that today is no longer bading. Perhaps it was I who set that trend. Real cool men, confident of their sexuality, wear their socks low. Haha.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Thought for the day (2)


Only those who've thirst to the point of pain can truly appreciate a glass of water. Be grateful for the boring day.

Monday, October 25, 2010

About me (3)


A Toyota fan.


I am the fourth son with three older brothers and one younger sister. I am tempted to say that I was my father's favorite, but that might start another debate between us siblings. So, let me just say that I was my father's pet.

When my father was still assigned at the Theft and Robbery division of the Western Police District, I believe he used me as a convenient excuse to get away from the Sunday chores of filing paperwork for the week and manning the store. Sundays should have been rest day anyway, so my Dad did all the paperwork at home and would go to the station with assignment done and me in tow.

"Hey I'm taking my kid to Luneta later!" was often his excuse to his colleagues whenever asked if he can man the store for the day.

So Sundays was Luneta day for me and my dad. He wasn't making much money at the time and Luneta was free. After Luneta, we'd go to Araneta Coliseum to watch basketball. I don't know how much tickets cost those days, but I remember we'd get the cheapest bleacher seats. My father was a big Jaworski fan. So Toyota was his team. And naturally, I became one too. But even then, I never liked the Big Barelling J, and had Francis "Mr. Clutch" Arnaiz as my hero.

These dates were supposed to be a secret between me and my father. But being very young, somehow my brothers were able to extract from me the information that we'd been going to the basketball games without them. Haha! Of course they resented it. And in rebellion became diehard Crispa fans. And so, that was how our house was divided come the epic championship games between Toyota and Crispa. Me and my father for Toyota, my three older brothers for Crispa, and my baby sister, Switzerland (she was too young to care). Of course, much to our dismay, Crispa won far much more than our Toyota. I still hate with a passion Billy Ray Bates to this day.


Friday, October 22, 2010

About me (2)


one year old me
Near death experiences:

Three times I nearly died before I turned 9. The first one was when I was around 3. An electrician was doing some work in the house and I don't know how it happened but I got electrocuted. I don't remember the event. But I have some faint memory of having my left hand in bandages as it was badly burned. My mom attributes the event for giving me superior intelligence. The spider-bite gave Spiderman his powers, electrocution gave me the powers of math even before I started school.

When I was 6, me and my brothers went along with an uncle who had this contract to build a pier in Iligan. Naughty me fell into the very deep waters and nearly drowned. I remember being very calm about it. So this is how it is going to end. This is what it feels like to die. A cousin rescued me in time though. But not soon enough that I was traumatized for a time. But my father would have none of it and got me over it quickly. He would take me swimming, break of dawn, about a kilometer away from the shore into the very deep waters of Batangas, right at the edge of the sea where it starts to look totally black. This is where I learned to swim.

When I was eight, a doctor botched what should have been an easy operation to remove a cyst that grew at the edge of my jaw below my left ear. For the second operation I was in the hospital for two weeks and had to go under for 12 hours. I remember one nurse, can't remember her face now, if she was pretty or what, but when I was left alone for a minute, she came into my room and kissed me (first kiss, haha!). And told me, in all seriousness, to remember her and come back for her when I grow up. I wonder what ever happened to her. 

Thursday, October 21, 2010

About me (1)


This should have been done at the start of the blog. And apparently is now the trend with my ka-bloggers. So let me share something really personal about myself. But let me do it one item at a time.

First thing about me (favorite food):

(1) My most favorite meal in the world would be fried to a crisp tinapa served with tahong stewed in sprite, and of course steaming hot plain rice. The entire meal would roughly cost no more than 30 pesos per person. That this is so cheap is one of those things that makes me believe God is fair. You do not need Bill Gates' salary to enjoy the most glorious meal in the world. I've had caviar, lobster, and 1,000 Php steaks. If I have to choose just one meal to eat everyday for the rest of my life, believe me, I'd choose my tinapa, tahong and plain rice.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Would you wear one?



My GF found the t-shirts above for sale on her FB account. Cute 'no? But before all you female readers suffer from an epileptic seizure over the "cuteness" of the thing, let me say this one bit of warning, good luck in making your husbands/BFs wear the t-shirt. I can -- if she's not wearing the counterpart. But that would be missing the entire point now, won't it?

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Juan is a coming!


print screen from the inquirer.net

Since when did we start giving storms/typhoons MALE names? Is this a new directive from the PNoy administration? Is this the new improved PAGASA PNoy was bragging about in his first-100-days report to the boss? Would giving male names to typhoons make them more reasonable and less temperamental?

Friday, October 15, 2010

This just in


Ricardo Cardinal Vidal promises to violate the RH Bill if ever it becomes law according to GMA news. And he doesn't care if he goes to jail. Well, the question of course is HOW? How does one violate the RH Bill? By having unprotected sex?

I believe I need to watch the full news and not jump into conclusions from reading the ticker.


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Notice that I didn't do a graphic illustration for this. :)

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Free at last!


Rebel Senator Antonio Trillanes
First thing I'm gonna do is order free drinks for everyone! Join me at the Manila Pen when I get out. See you all there.




Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Joker


Sen. Pag-bad-ka-lagot- ka

What the duck were we thinking? The name should have been a giveaway. But no, we believed his catchy campaign slogan and elected the joker to the senate. Where he was SILENT all those years. A silence so deafening I almost forgot he was a senator at all. Imagine all the scandals of the past admin and nary a whimper from the pag-bad-ka-lagot-ka senator. 

And now he speaks?! Now that the fake president has stepped down? Now he has the gall to question improprieties? After all the stench he has somehow managed to ignore all those years? Ah senator ka pa pala. I remember you... vaguely...  

But sadly the joke is on us. On all of us. Someone send out the Bat signal.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Please vote


my hero (nominee #9)

Please log on here and vote for TACK. She is a hero. All proceeds shall go to her if ever she wins.

Please take 5 minutes from your precious internet time to register and vote. It would help too if you would paste the link on your FBs. Thanks.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Not really sorry


Mrs. Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
Actually, what I am really sorry for is that I got caught. And now, looking back, what I am  really sorry for is that I ever made the "I am sorry" speech.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

PNoy an environmentalist


Pres. Noynoy Aquino
Perhaps I didn't explain my position well enough, I am an environmentalist and will not ax puno.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Must be nice to be Ryan



print screen is from the inquirer.net edition today

You become Mr. Judy Ann Santos, good career move. And Juday's not that bad. All you condescending hypocrites, just erase from your memories the image of Ula Batang Gubat, and Juday is actually kinda hot -- admit it!

Your first born is a boy! Congratulations, Ry. The entire nation rejoices with you. The government in fact has seen it fit to declare one day as a national day of celebration -- Oct 25 has just been declared a holiday. Don't anyone dare tell me the two events are unrelated. I am a conspiracy nut, remember. Everything is connected. It is the barangay elections that is the convenient excuse.

Congratulations Ryan and Juday!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The God perspective


me at work

I work for a company tasked with the technical support for the high-tech equipment you see above. That's me at the main bridge of a full mission ship handling simulator that can be linked to an engine room and 5 cubicles representing 5 independently controlled ships that can join the same simulation scenario.

From the control booth, the instructor can simulate storms, engine trouble, rough seas, even make it snow in Manila Bay. As far as the simulation goes, the instructor at the control booth is god.

He can, of course, always give the students smooth sailing conditions -- the perfect easy life. But this is almost never done. For that would be just a waste of simulator time. The simple fact is, rough seas make better sailors.

Maybe that is something to think about whenever we encounter rough sailing in life. Perhaps someone at the control booth wants to make better sailors out of us.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Another random list


Awesome things that are cool but sucks at the same time:

- Finishing second in a competitive tournament.
- Setting the world record time in plastic cups stacking.
- Being really good at something you are not really that interested in.
- Being a good karaoke singer.
- Being the perfect look-alike of Mike Enriquez.
- Almost superhuman ability to predict bad things in the future, but having no power to prevent the bad thing from happening.
- A hole in one in golf, and no witnesses.
- Becoming a YouTube sensation over some dumb thing you did.
- Secret affair with Megan Fox that will end and she will deny if ever anyone finds out.
- Getting the fame and recognition you deserve, after you die.
- Having Google declare you as the "Zynga poker champion", but not really, since you used a pseudonym.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Stuff no one told me


click here to go to Alex Noriega's blog


There is this new blog that I am stalking. Four days now and I've read every single cartoon he has posted on his two blogs (the third one is his sketch pad). It's really cool. And I have posted here a link in the "really cool blogs" section. Funny thing about Google though, even before I posted this entry, I got *three hits from Cataluna, Spain, via Google with the search keywords "stuff no one told me", all because of the link I posted.

Blogging tip/reminder: photos and images, do not get indexed by Google unless you give it a descriptive text support. I've e-mailed Alex about it. Oh yes, we are on first names basis now. He's a pretty cool dude who responds to posts (questions), but I try not to hassle the guy too much, as he is getting a LOT right now from fans. 

Hey, do drop by his blog and check it out. Tell him I said, "hi!" 






* Another hit from Cataluna, Spain within minutes of posting this. Lol.  


Confirmation: It was from Alex himself, this from my email:


Alex Noriega

 to me
show details 7:20 AM (8 minutes ago)
The hits were probably  from me and my daily ego surfing trips :)

Thanks for the cool words!

Alex


Saturday, October 2, 2010

Our David takes on Goliath


image sourced from here


When our very own Manny Pacquiao takes on Mexico's Antonio Margarito this 13th of November in Texas, expect an epic battle of biblical proportions. Giving away 4 1/2 inches in height and a full 6 inches in reach, this will be nothing short of a David versus Goliath battle -- almost literally. This is one fight that needs no hyperboles. Margarito is half a head taller and at least one fist longer. The numbers speak for themselves.

Don't kid yourself folks, even against a mediocre taller-longer opponent, giving away that much in height and reach is no small matter. And Margarito is no mediocre opponent. He is the man responsible for Miguel Cotto's first defeat. The man can punch. And the man can take punches. As to his sullied reputation for coloring outside the lines, that should cause for more worries. Pro boxing is not exactly a gentleman sport. Manny should be ready for anything. 

But I have faith in our champion. Height and reach is one thing (alright, two things). Speed another. And as Manny has proven over and over again, it is speed that kills. But let me stop right here and not pretend I know more than Freddie Roach. I will not even offer an opinion as to how Manny should fight this fight. I'm sure the boxing genius has another ace of a fight plan up his sleeve. And Manny should follow that -- and only that.

And Manny will need every last bit of that genius in his corner. I exaggerate not when I say this is going to be Manny's toughest test. The highest peak he will scale. This will be for yet another record setting 8 world crowns in 8 weight divisions. No other fighter comes even close. Least of all, that motormouth (who shall not be named) whose own genius is in finding every excuse to not to step inside the same ring with Manny. Sugar Ray Leonard, who doesn't have an 0 record, ruled in 5 weight divisions. Oscar dela Hoya in 6.

While we should not start celebrating just yet, let us all remember one thing from the bible, it was David that won that battle against Goliath.

I can't wait.

Friday, October 1, 2010

"Quote", "unquote"


click here to access the "blog"


You gotta love the internet. If nothing else, you get to "meet" people of the same "persuasions". Remember my blog entry on how I wanted to "gouge" out my own "eyes" for all those misplaced "apostrophes"? Well here's one "blog" solely dedicated to "quotation" marks. Really funny. Check "it" out.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

We pause for a Zoolander moment



One of the funniest and most painful scenes in that Ben Stiller classic movie, "Zoolander" was when he WRONGLY accepted his Model of the Year award. The movie is an exaggeration of course. That'll NEVER happen in real life as you can see. 


Australia's Next Top Model with host Sarah Murdoch



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Hey, I just noticed. It's September 30 -- the end of the month. And I have 30 entries for September. That's one entry each day. I did it! One blog update everyday for a month. I think I will take rest for a week. :)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Never again vote a joker into the senate


Sen. Joker Arroyo asked "Must the Filipinos be last to know?" Simple straightforward answer dear pag-bad-ka-lagot-ka senator, no. But then again, we need not be the first either. Perhaps the good senator has forgotten this fairly reasonable protocol that it is the family of victims who are usually given first look as regards the details of such incidents. By giving the Hongkong authorities that first look, we've thus passed the burden onto them.


No dear senator, the Filipino is not the mainstream news media who always needs to out-scoop everyone, at whatever cost. We don't care if we are second, or third, or even fourth in getting the bad news. We don't even care if we don't get to see live the interview of that insane cry-baby of a madman's brother. 


What we care about is whether our elected officials, senator in your case, has actually lived up to his campaign promise, and have not simply resorted to cute sound bites that media will surely pick up -- in an obvious and lame attempt to keep one self in the public eye.


So walang bad nung last 6 years with Gloria? Walang nalagot di ba? So ano na? Hanggang ganun na lang? Eto ang gusto kong may "first to know" ako, what happened to my vote? What have you been doing all these years? Senator ka pa rin pala.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Mt. Molehill



When Philippine President Noynoy Aquino met with US President Barack Obama at an event in New York last week, the US organizers had the Philippine flag hanging upside down. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal. And the US embassy has already apologized for it. 


But check out the reaction on Yahoo!News, read the comments. Such a minor thing and the Obama detractors are up in arms predicting the end of US civilization itself.


Well, that's one more thing the two Presidents have in common. Every little misstep, even bad personal habits (smoking), are sure signs of the apocalypse.

Monday, September 27, 2010

China can not like your FB status


One out of every five human being lives in communist China where ALL blogs are banned, even Facebook. Think about that for a second, and realize how fortunate you are to be reading this. I know that most of what you read on blogs (including mine) are mostly inane stuff. As for Facebook, well, I mostly just scan through it so I can lol at the pictures of the manang beauties who do model-like poses. What the hey? Are these people on drugs?


But all that said, there is something to be said about freedom. Yes, even to read the inane stuff, or do model-like poses for all the world to see. Freedom to have an opinion. Freedom to voice out that opinion. Freedom to have the "wrong" opinion.


So let us all pause for a moment and appreciate the fact that Aljur Abrenica's current state of affairs is just a few mouse clicks away somewhere in blogosphere.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

A girl for a day



Bored, I decided yesterday to play my girlfriend's Facebook Zynga poker account. She doesn't play much and her chip count was around 30K (mine is already more than 7 million). So ok, fine. That only means I have to play shootouts once more where the buy-in is just 2K and I would have a shot at winning 500K at one go.

Problem with the girlfriend account was that her avatar is kinda cute. My girlfriend is real pretty (and this is not kissing ass, lol). At first I was kinda pissed and can not concentrate as I was busy fending off all the unwanted attention. Buddy requests, virtual gifts, and attempts to chat me up. In the beginning, I made the effort to explain that I am not actually the person in the avatar, that I am the BF trying to bump up the GF's chip count. But after awhile, this became tedious and I just didn't bother with it anymore. Let them think I am a girl!

It wasn't too bad. Some guys are actually interesting to chat with once I've relaxed enough with the idea. So that's how it feels like. Having a boy swoon over you like that. It was actually kinda fun. I had maybe one or two real interesting chat exchanges. I may have to look them up sometime. Haha.

But too bad for all those condescending fools who thought the account can not play poker, given the account's low ranking, dismal chip count, and the fact that it was a girl account. Made them pay dearly for it. It must have really hurt, especially given my strategy in round 1 to try to go to a final 2 heads up with me way behind with 1K going against a big stack bully with 8K. I'm sure I broke a lot of hearts when I beat them like that on the way to the second round.

Round 2 is not much different than round 1. Same old, same old. But by the time I reach round 3, then no more "girl advantage" for me. Serious time. These folks are in it to win it. No one even wants to chat up with me. I even tried to open up the conversation and work the girl thing.


"Hey this is the first time I made final 5". No one answered. First time in round 3, wound up 3rd. Those heartless bastards killed me.

So ok fine. That's it then. Serious poker. Very next attempt, going through rounds 1 and 2 in clinical fashion and I found myself again playing in round 3. This time, no more girly tricks up my sleeve. Just serious poker.

The thing about playing round 3 is that most of these guys are nervous and playing too tight. Hardly anyone wants to make a big move. Having been on round 3 many times before, I am comfortable with it enough and not burdened by nooby jitters anymore. They don't know that of course.

First big bet I made was for half my chips on trips 8. I lost to a straight and was down to around 500 chips with 9 players still on the table. That's alright. That only means I will take no more risks and just go all-in on the next "sure thing". And that sure thing came 2 or 3 hands later. Thinking I made another nooby bet, I had 3 callers. Winning that hand, suddenly I was 2K and in the chip lead. Now I get to play aggressive and play big stack bully. Quickly eliminated 2 and upped my chip count to 4.5K. That's half the chips on the table. I planned to sit on that till the final 3. But I got bored quickly when I realized the other players wouldn't bet more than blinds which was still at 60. So ok, up to me then. Eliminate them all. 

Last risky move I made was in the final 3 against the second chip leader. He had about 3K chips. I posted blind. He raised me. I went all-in with pocket queens. He called with pocket jacks. And the women with it! Yey for the girls.

So now I find myself with around 8K chips against one player with 1K. Now look, if I know how to win this when the tables are turned, how much easier do you think it is for me to win when I got the upper-hand? If you look closely at the graphic below, my final hand was a straight to 5. Made it with a hand 2-3 off-suit, believe it or not. People should really never understimate that, and of course, us girls. Yeba! 


4th time Zynga shootouts champion!


Final hand

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Update: I continued to play the GF account for one more day, now her current chip count is over 1 million. From 30K to over 1 million in 2 days. You know what? I AM THE ZYNGA POKER CHAMPION!


Saturday, September 25, 2010

Charice on Glee



I'm sure by now you've seen it. It's gone viral on Facebook. That is Charice's performance on Glee. Alright, before I go on, let me admit right here, that was actually the first time I've seen Charice perform an entire song (haha). I hope you can all forgive me for that. But hey, I am always behind EVERY Filipino who makes it in the world stage. 


One constructive criticism though if I may. And I hope you people do not read into it that I am a crabhead or anything like that. This is CONSTRUCTIVE!


What's with all the arms flailing? Charice can do without that. I was watching the video, impressed by her voice, but her limbs flying about in all sorts of odd ways was distracting! Come on. She can do without that. Voice lessons apparently worked. Now she needs a professional choreographer for her total performance to be even better. 


What do you guys think?


Here's the Facebook link.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Horrendous



Willie Revillame calls ABS-CBN countersuit "horrendous", this according to the Inquirer news.  Of course, you know it is the lawyers talking. Does the idiot even know the word "horrendous"?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Team Coco



I'm a big fan. Conan O'Brien is the best (after a non-senile David Letterman that is, haha). It's still 47 days according to his countdown before the new show "Conan" airs on TBS.


Last night, when Globe decided to die on me again, I just watched for the nth time Conan's final show as the host of "The Tonight Show". For non-fans who just don't care, "The Tonight Show" is the Holy Grail for all late show hosts. Even David Letterman himself never got to host that. Not even for just seven months, the length of Conan's tenure.


Parting words from the Conester was quite unexpected. You don't expect that much class from someone who brought on TV, a masturbating bear, an insult comic dog, and Preparation H Raymond.


He thanked NBC with all the sincerity he can muster given all the blood spilled in their messy divorce. Then he thanked the fans who all supported him in his war against his home network. Then a final word to the young fans, and I paraphrase; Don't be cynical, for the record it is my least favorite quality. Cynicism leads to nowhere. No one gets exactly what they thought they were going to get in life. But if you work hard, be kind, good things will happen. I promise you, it will. It just does.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Of freedoms and responsibilities



So, September 21 came and went without much fanfare nor remembrance. Hardly a word from anyone. I only remembered the significance of the day from Eat Bulaga (of all places) as the TV on the bus I rode was tuned to it.


For once, given our current circumstances, I am glad that we as a people have this talent for collective amnesia. And mainstream news media should take note before they raise the boogeyman of Martial Law to protect their collective asses. No you don't get to play that card. The people do not care. They don't even remember.


Say what again? You want self-regulation? But that bus left the moment you shoved your microphones onto the face of that madman's even crazier brother as he was being collected by the police. It was being aired live! What were you thinking? No, gaddemit, you had your shot at self-regulation. Look where that got us. It got us here. 

I am tempted to insert a Spiderman quote right in here. But let us keep Hollywood out of it and this simple. Every freedom corresponds to a certain responsibility. You are not responsible, you don't get to enjoy that freedom. It is as simple as that. 

So suffer the consequences of the exercise of your freedom that fateful day, whatever those consequences may be. Prove, for once, you are rightful heirs to what June Keithly and her generation fought so hard to deserve.






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Payong contest:




Sorry folks, but I won my own contest. Noz, you missed it by two. Sorry. Hahahaha. You were the 4,998th. Damn close! But no cigar. Buti na lang hindi yung 4,999th nanalo. Patay ako sa Fedex, US ba naman. Lol.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The problem with euphemisms



"Mentally retarded" is a very harsh term. Accurate, but harsh. And so, to be politically correct, we've invented a way to soften the blow. "Special" is the euphemism for it now. That's ok, I guess. And I really have no problems with the kind intention of this practice. Except that it does have unintended consequences.


The trouble with euphemisms is that eventually the word will lose its original meaning and just take on the new context of what it replaced in the first place. "Gay" used to be just a word for happy, believe it or not. And now, even "getting it on" means something else. Why can't we just say the right words?


It's a little unfair. A kid who can play Beethoven at 3 can no longer be special. He must be something else. Gifted maybe. But no, not special. And I can no longer be gay. "Informal settlers" can no longer be evicted from squatting. "Police intelligence", euphemism for "spying on you" is completely legal. And of course, "honorable", euphemism for crook, no longer has the right ring to it. I don't want to be "honorable", I can tell you that.



The newest euphemism of course is "PNP SWAT" which now means total incompetence. Well, at least this one is understandable if not much deserved.


But aside from the first and the last examples, maybe its high time we go back to naming things/people for what they truly are. If nothing else, to avoid all the confusion. Words are only words, after all. And meaningless minus the context. 


Representative from the second district of Pampanga? Don't call her honorable. "Woman of ill repute" would be more accurate.

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For the few of you who know me in real life, my dear kamag-anak inc., and friends from my Facebook account, please know that while I blog mostly about my life and my posts are made in the first person point of view, I do, from time to time, exercise literary license. Yes, I lie! Lol. No. Some of the stories depicted here are fiction. That I do not tell which is which, makes it a little more fun, doesn't it?

No animals were harmed in the production of this blog. Parental guidance is advised. And no approved therapeutic claims. Hindi ito gamot.

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Mungo Conspiracy would like to thank:

Kuya Bing for all the support without which I would not have been able to start this blog. My baby sister Charo, who has always been my number one fan. Gie for twisting Kuya Bing's arms to lend me support. Rocky for being the first follower. Chris for the free ad space on MTC.

I would also like to mention Kuya Jong and Kuya Rolly, Rex, Kim, and all of my pumpkins, Dustin, Innah, Jonas, Danwell, Glea, Jiro, Ram, Yzab, Hannah, and Annika, who are my inspirations for many of my stories here.

And thanks to the Iligan Chapter of the conspirators who were the first to fill-up my followers' box! :)

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email : mungoconspiracy@gmail.com