Sunday, December 9, 2012

End of an era


And with that one decisive counter-punch to end the sixth, Juan Manuel Marquez ended the era of Manny Pacquiao. The greatest Filipino athlete of all time. Make no mistakes about it, that is it -- this is the end. There is no more getting up from being knocked out that way. No one has. And Manny, the politician/actor/tv-host/pastor/boxer surely will not be the first one to do it. He no longer has the passion. He is a fat rich man. And boxing is a cruel sport driven by hunger.

Well Manny, thanks for the memories. It was a fun ride while it lasted and I enjoyed every second of it. You were a great champion. And I am proud to call you my own. On and off the ring, you did the Filipino proud. Even in defeat, you are, as always, ever the gracious and classy sportsman. We are all proud of you still.

But time hang up those gloves. Enjoy your wealth and your health. Boxing is no longer the sport for you. Take a deep breath and maybe even a sigh of relief for you are now free to do the everything else you've always been itching to do.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Really, NDCC?



Apparently, the National Disaster Coordinating Council has decided to suspend all flights, and all sea traffic, down to the lowly mamang mangingisda, in the general eastern area of the Philippines. This was in anticipation of North Korea's attempted (and aborted) launch of a civilian satellite today.

Really, NDCC? Do you even know how small an artificial satellite is compared to the vastness of that general area? Your suspending of all air and sea traffic in that area is like my wife telling me to stop working for the day because she had bought a lotto ticket. This is not even close to an exaggeration. You are that dumb.

Look, even if North Korea is not launching a civilian satellite into outer space without any intention of hitting civilian traffic, and in fact, wants to intentionally hit a bangka off the shores of the Babuyan Islands -- for the heck of it, without any smart guidance system specifically designed to do that task, they won't hit it.

Tell you what NDCC, if you don't believe me, you can send me off to on all expenses paid bangka trip, specific area of your choice, on the next launch date of that North Korean satellite.

I'm willing to bet my life, against the resignation of all you dumb people. You people have got too much power to be that dumb. Really.

----

Come on people! Our Asian neighbors are already launching satellites into outer space, at eto naman tayo, specifically itong mga tao natin sa NDCC, manghang-mangha at kulang na lang sabihing, "Plen, plen, look mama, plen!" Nakakahiya. Huwag naman sanang masyadong magpahalatang mangmang.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

To My Dearest Chelsea Rose


I write to you now to let you know that even before you are born, you are already loved. And loved not just by me but your entire eager awaiting family. Looking forward to finally meeting you.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Memo to "environmentalists"


Forcing Sting to move his concert venue from the Mall of Asia to the Araneta Coliseum, to penalize SM for chopping down those trees in SM City Baguio will not help the environment. Much in the same way as voting for that fake senator will make you an eco-warrior.

Worse, feeling good about this minor victory is counter productive. You have not helped the environment at all. Stop feeling good about yourselves.

What if I planted twice as many trees in replacement of those chopped down by SM City Baguio? Would I have saved the environment? I don't think so.

Unfortunately, it's going to take a whole lot more than media stunts, catchy slogans, and photo-ops by politicians who want your vote to save the environment.

The "environment" mantra, sadly, is now nothing more than "kontra droga" or "gusto makatulong sa mahirap".

Monday, October 15, 2012

Bitterness much?


Been quite busy lately. Scrambling to earn a living and stuff. So this post is a little late in coming.

To all those over-excited people who just couldn't wait for the iphone 5 to come out, I have one thing to say to you, F you. You read that right.

This is my bitterness-much-I-own-the-guilty-pleasure-of-it rant.

Couldn't wait to throw away your excess money?

No way to say this in English lest the sting get lost in translation; atat na atat kayong itapon ang sobra nyong kwarta? Ganun ba?

Congratulations, I am happy for all of you.

Haha!

There, I feel so much better now.

:)


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Eco-warrior, what?


So the fake senator, who did nothing during his stolen term but to support that fake president, has officially jumped the gun on the legal election campaign period with a TV ad that basically labels himself a champion of the environment. The shameless idiot, apparently, will stop at nothing to get what he wants.

But drop the label and what is this guy all about? He stayed in the senate, all those years, knowing full well he benefited from cheating. And not just dagdag-bawas but stolen votes from Maguindanao -- remember the massacre? Then patted himself on the back for resigning when the final decision of the election tribunal was but a few weeks away.

And here he is now repackaged as an eco-warrior. Really? Vote for this guy and become an eco-warrior? If only Filipino voters are not that dumb.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

May angal ka?


Me and a dear old friend are currently working together on a new blog The Pinoy Consumer Advocate. It's a blog review of products and services available in the Philippines.

The idea is borne out of the frustration of being shortchanged by these big corporate entities who would rather spend millions on advertising instead of giving the customers a good product. Well, alrightee then, if they want to play it that way, spend those millions on advertising, but just know this, deliver a poor product and we will do our darndest to get these products indexed by searched engines as the lemon that they are.

Kung may angal ka, i-blog mo dito, http://pinoyconsumeradvocate.blogspot.com/.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Bill Gates initiative


So what does the Bruce Wayne of real life do? Try to solve this world's shit problems. He may not be the hero we deserve, but he is the hero we need.



Video from here

Reinvent the toilet project by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Significant no more


Took the bus this morning to get myself and the significant other to the Quezon City Hall of Justice for that 11 am appointment. It is actually a reschedule, since the wrath of Habagat made it impossible to meet the original appointment two weeks ago.

So there we were, Branch 92 Regional Trial Court under Judge Eleuterio Bathan. Just me, the significant other, my sister, her husband, and their daughter. No frills. No fanfare.

And just like that, the deed was done. The significant other label is no more. She is now, formally, my wife. Yes, I am now officially, legally, and most definitely, married.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Christian


I am not much of a religious man. I do not even go to church anymore. I am the last person you would imagine who would quote, verbatim, a biblical line, chapter and verse. That is just not me.

But God knows I want to be a good Christian. And by Christian, I do not mean that in the protestant/born-again sectarian sense. Oh god please, no. I am not that Christian, but something else. 

By Christian I mean in the truest sense of becoming a follower of Jesus - the Christ. Minus the (mis)interpretation of a Brother Mike or a Brother Eli, even a Brother Eddie. And yes even minus the politics of the Mitsu-bishops. Minus the "I belong to this church and not that church." Minus the labels. Like Jesus always wanted. 

The Pharisees, apparently, has lived far much longer even after Jesus was crucified. 

I try hard to be a good Christian in the context of what Jesus tried to teach all of us. Turn the other cheek. Love thy neighbor, even your enemies. Do not judge, lest ye be judged. Feed the hungry.

Try, of course, being the operative word.

It is a cold cruel world after all. It's hard not to be jaded. It's hard not to feel numb. When all around you is poverty and suffering. And people who would take advantage should you show the slightest hint of weakness.

But every now and then, we are all reminded, that kindness is not a weakness. Like in this video, all of 30 seconds long, captured during last Tuesday's storm. Outside GMA's compound along Edsa,  a young woman literally gives the jacket off her back to a little girl who would otherwise be completely naked.

I wish I am this kind of Christian. I wish anyone who would rally against the RH bill would be this kind of Christian. I wish all who would dare speak on behalf of Jesus would be this kind of Christian.



Friday, July 20, 2012

It's official


I am now a certified scribie transcriber. Just got the approval this morning.

Had to do it. I need every last dollar I can squeeze out of this internet side-business thing-a-majig. And oh yes, I did say "dollar". The audio transcription website pays 1 USD per 6 audio minutes transcribed. And you get to pick and choose when to work, even what files to work on. I waited an extra 2 days, in fact, hoping to get a clear audio test file which I got this morning. Within 6 hours, I got the certification.

So yeah, I'll be typing away my free time mostly from hereon out. If you are interested in becoming a transcriber click on this link.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Offended


I know how hard it is for these stores. They are often the victims of counterfeit money being passed onto them. I get that. There is a reason why they need to install some type of double-check mechanism in their check-out procedure. But then again, must they be so crude about it?

I don't know what it was with that cashier. Maybe I was just tired, coming home from a long 6-hour road trip. I'm sure I looked haggard and maybe a bit disheveled. But she took my money, a crisp freshly drawn from the atm 1,000 Php bill, as payment for my takeout order. She quickly scanned the bill over some blue light for a look-see if it was fake or not. That there would have been alright. Like I said, I do understand their predicament.

But no, she then had to raise it up to check it against the flourescent light above. That really ticked me off. What? Do I look like the sort of guy who passes fake 1,000 Php bills?

I bit my tongue and didn't do or say anything. I waited patiently for my order. And then my change.

She handed me a 500 Php bill, two 100 Php bills, and some other lose bills and coins. My turn. I took my time, didn't care that I was holding up the line behind me, as I inspected carefully, holding each one against the flourescent light, every bill being handed to me.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

And in other Dolphy news

Former vice president Noli de Castro fails to understand why it is impossible for Bibeth Orteza to write Dolphy’s autobiography.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Changes


I've decided to change things up a bit. Stretch the legs of this here blog a little. I'll be cross-posting on Triond, articles I believe fall in the category of "instructional".

Remember the USD check I got from Zen Entertainment? Well, if ever you find yourself with a USD check in the Philippines without a USD savings account, I swear to you, you'd half wish you were related to Renato Corona. For some backward third-world reason, cashing foreign currency checks in the Philippines takes you back 20 years.

My first Triond article: Cashing That USD Check in The Philippines

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Positive


It was not the result that I wanted. But because it is what it is, it is the result that I want, after all.

The significant other had been a little battier than usual the last couple of weeks. I mean I get it. When that time of the month comes, I have to get out of her nutty ways. Darwin never wrote it in his book, but this, actually, is the best survival tactic for the reasonable man. Expediency is the name of the game. What am I supposed to do? Beat the senseless crap out of her? If nothing else, my father taught me to never physically abuse women. Thanks dad for taking that out of the menu.

But last month was way nuttier than usual -- even for her. She was angry with me for no reason. She says she wants fish for lunch. And so like the dutiful partner that I am, I buy fish from the market. But no, it is never the fish that she wants. I can never figure that puzzle out. This kind of craziness went on for around two-three weeks. Until one hot afternoon, I've finally had enough. I am not her slave, I lashed out. Her reaction? Packed her things to leave. Of course I pleaded with her to stay. Its not the solution to a minor spat I told her. I thought 6 years of being together meant we are over that.

She would eventually decide to stay, but not before her tantrum reached Facebook status. Damn, sometimes I really hate Facebook. She knew I hated that more than anything else. She was taunting me. She wanted me to beat her up. I swear she did.

Men listen up. There is a lesson here for you all to learn. For all her unreasonableness. For all that craziness I took on the chin and smiled, I am glad now that I didn't do anything drastic. Trust me, had this person been a disgruntled employee or anything of that sort, I would have beaten the crap out of that someone. It was only because she was the significant other that I gave her a pass. And I am glad. Knowing what I know now, I would never be able to forgive myself if I had hurt her in anyway.

Two days ago, pregnancy test result -- positive.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Finally paid



After three months of waiting (an extra month more than I was told to expect it) my first check for winning a poker tourney has finally come. Its just 70 USD (100 USD minus 30% US federal tax), but more than the monetary value, I love the fact that I won that on sheer skill alone. I did not even risk any money of my own, since in it's a zero buy-in tournament,  so you can imagine how fierce the competition was. Lifetime career as a pro-anything, this tops my 500 Php winning effort in a PDA officially sanctioned dart tournament (inter-barangay champion, lol).

Like I told my pumpkin when I was asked "what is the best tasting beer in the world?", it is beer bought with money from winning something -- tastes like victory.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Unanimous


While two of the three judges scoring the Manny Pacquiao-Timothy Bradley fight saw it going Bradley's way, the boxing world is unanimous. Manny Pacquiao won that fight -- or at least, that Bradley didn't do enough to win the world title belt.

Go google it now. Do not even bother reading the articles of Filipino sportswriters who may have bias for the Filipino boxing superstar. It was not even a close fight. This was a robbery, plain and simple.

The numbers says it all. Compubox scoring had Manny Pacquiao dominating the fight 253 to 159. You out-punch your opponent by almost a hundred, simple logic is that you win. That two of the three judges saw it otherwise leads one to conclude that boxing is so desperate that it is contemplating to try professional wrestling's formula. Controversy sells. That that farce of a "sports entertainment" league can sell tickets only proves the efficacy of this tact.

The sad truth is, Manny Pacquiao's luster alone is no longer enough to sell tickets to the fringe fans. His story of humble beginnings yadi-yada-yada  is no longer interesting. Boxing needs something new. It is a bitter pill to swallow but outpointing pretenders is no longer enough. Manny should have knocked him out. Manny should have knocked everyone out.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

And they lived up to their names


Sa mga bumoto ng acquit, ito lang masasabi ko sa inyo...

Bong Bong, Marcos ka nga.

Joker, Arroyo ka nga.

Miriam, Brenda ka nga.

Meanwhile on my brother's FB:

New business idea, Lapid's Pizza Pie. Specialty, impeachable pie. All prices in USD.

P.S.

Thank you Mr. Enrile, happy na kami. For all the highs and lows of your career, history shall remember you for this and Edsa. And to all other senators who voted to convict, thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

P.P.S.

“Although every office in the government service is a public trust, no position exacts greater demand for moral righteousness and uprightness from an individual than in the Judiciary”.

This was part of the decision penned by the Supreme Court on the case of one Delsa Flores, a lowly court interpreter who failed to declare her sari-sari store in her SALN. And by these standards, we measured the Chief Justice too. And he was found wanting.

P.P.P.S.

One day after the verdict, President Noynoy visited my workplace to hand out the diplomas to the graduates. He briefly inspected the simulator our company maintains, and I was, for fifteen minutes, no more than 10 feet away from PNoy. But tragically, with all the VIPs crowding the president, I failed to forward my sister's personal message to him to appoint Justice Carpio as the next Chief Justice. Respect tradition. Appoint the most senior. Sorry sis.

PNoy, as seen from the CCTV camera, inspecting the simulator we maintain/operate.



Thursday, May 24, 2012

Chief Justice


"Pepito, wipe away those tears. Time to be brave. It is an honor to die for one's country. Not everyone is given that chance." With that,he playfully ruffled the hair of his son one last time then proceeded where a firing squad awaited him.

That was over half-a-century ago. When Pres. Quezon exiled to the USA on the heels of the Japanese invasion, it was left to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Jose Abad Santos to lend legitimacy to the puppet government that the invading Imperial Japanese army wanted to set-up. When the Chief Justice refused, he was given an ultimatum. Chief Justice Jose Abad Santos chose death.

Now some seventy odd years later we are left to ask, where have all the brave Filipinos gone?

Friday, May 18, 2012

On tolerance


I smoke. Not exactly proud of it. But neither am I ashamed of it. I just do. I am a smoker and will continue to be so in the foreseeable future. Will I try to promote smoking as a lifestyle? No. Will I go to elementary schools and say that smoking is an acceptable lifestyle choice? No.

I make this statement, again, not to make smoking appear cool or a thing, but simply to make a point. And that is, I know a thing or two about discrimination.

Even with the president of the republic, an incorrigible smoker, city ordinances even national tax laws continue to be promulgated discriminatory of smokers. I get it. Second-hand smoke is bad. Ok, I will not smoke in our shared space then. But do not invade my own little private space with your self-righteousness. When I get out of my way to smoke in some nook where they store the garbage, you can not go there specifically just tell me all about your anti-smoking agenda. Unless you are there to collect the trash, that is my space. And from experience those guys hardly ever complain. They usually bum me for a cigarette actually.

The thing about tolerance is, you can not preach it by being intolerant of contrary opinions. You can not promote tolerance towards lesbians-gays-bisexuals-transgenders by going hammer and tongs whenever someone like Manny Pacquiao expresses his own honest opinion. So what if Manny Pacquiao does not like you? Does he have to like you? And you would impose that he like you? He is not allowed to have an opinion whether it be intelligent or dumb?

Look, us smokers have it worst. I've had numerous religious nuts tell me that smoking is a sin. This is how society in general thinks. They even named that discriminatory law "sin tax" -- now a "certified urgent bill". I ask the LGBT community, what was the last anti-gay tax legislated? But that's ok. I get it. We are a minority. But I dare the bible nuts to quote me that verse wherein Jesus said, "Thou shall not smoke."

I rant, ironically, to send out this message to everyone: chill. Look hard enough, and you will find that there are people who will never approve of whatever lifestyle you choose. Be it vegan, smoker, gay, environmentalist, conservative, progressive, liberal, etc. That's just intolerant people being intolerant. That's how they choose to live their life. My thing? Live and let live. And I really don't give a damn what these people think of me or how I live my life. That, my friends, is tolerance. Not giving a damn about intolerance. And yes, you are allowed your opinion.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

You are not Jesus Christ


I am not a particularly religious man. I believe in God, in my own very specific way, but do not subscribe to any organized religion. But when someone invokes the name of God to try and evade justice, that really rubs me the wrong way. And I am tempted to invoke Mosaic Laws if only to impose death to the blasphemer!

Note to Chief Justice Renato Corona, you are NOT Jesus Christ. Testifying before the impeachment court is not your "calvary" (quoted from the Inquirer.net). If you are indeed innocent, all you have to do is sign a document allowing bank officials to open any and all alleged dollar deposits to your name. If indeed these do not exist, as you say they do not. You have proven yourself innocent. And more than that, you have embarrassed the prosecution and this administration, your enemy, as you yourself declare. And of course, you have redeemed yourself. End of story. An easy enough task for an innocent man, as you say you are. Just do it. I dare you. I double dare you.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

What I thought back then



1. Racing always starts with the announcer saying "n-derego!"  It was "and there they go", I would later find out.

2. Vetsin is made from bone scraps.

3. TV stations are subsidized by Meralco. TV being the only real reason you consume electricity.

4. Sesame Street's Ernie and Bert are robots. Took me a long time to accept that they are hand puppets.

5. It always snows in the USA.

6. If ever you get on TV, for whatever reason, you are an "artista" -- and you will be rich.

7. I will never ever get tired of playing Pacman. If only my father would buy me one, I would be happy forever. (He did buy me one).

8. A car travelling at 140 kph has achieved mach 5. Damn you Voltes V.

9. You can touch clouds and it will feel soft like cotton.

10. If I can jump high enough like the Six Million Dollar Man, I can then re-jump in mid-air thus achieving flight.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Priority check


There was this bit of semi-interesting news on GMA the other night. An old destitute man ekes out a living by collecting what appears to be empty plastic containers and whatnot from garbage. He was prime-time news material all of the sudden not for his career choice but rather because he was employing his dog in this private enterprise. Apparently, the old man makes his dog help him pull his cart.

As expected and right on cue, with media's light focused on the old man, "animal cruelty" cried PAWS. Informed by the charge, the old man was visibly befuddled and could not respond. Clearly he is in no financial shape to pay the possible fine. And in even worse physical shape to face possible jail time. The very reason he employs his dog in that manner. The old man is OLD. He is too weak to push that cart on his own, he cried out in defense. His dog on the other hand, appears well-fed and looks none the worse for wear doing that chore.

But I know where PAWS is coming from. Dogs are meant to be pampered in doggy salons and whatever else the Paris Hiltons of this world can afford. Dogs were never meant to do manual labor.

But in the interest of fairness, I dare these people to go to Alaska and charge the Inuits of animal cruelty for making those dogs pull those sleds. Why not ask the New Zealand farmers to not use their dogs in herding cattle and sheep? And what of the police? Sniffing for drugs and bombs is dangerous! Charge them too and do not single out this poor old man.

These concerned citizens of PAWS should get their priorities in order. Nakita nyo ang paghihirap ng aso, hindi nyo man lang napansin ang paghihirap nung matanda, mga paws ng ina nyo.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Ang init!


Just paid my Meralco bill yesterday. Roughly 20% increase from my previous month and I didn't consume 20% more electricity. Meralco is slowly killing us all. And now this morning, I wake up and there is no electricity. So I go to Meralco's FB account and reported this fact. And what do I get 30 minutes later? An almost machine generated reply, "Meralco Hi Don, upang ma-address namin ang iyong concern, kakailanganin din namin ang inyong Service Identification Number (SIN) o nakapangalan sa inyong Meralco bill, eksaktong address (house or block/lot number, kalye), pinakamalapit na palatandaan sa lugar (kalye/ establisyemento) at lawak ng walang kuryente. Salamat."

But I already gave my address on the original report. Is this fucker kidding me? So ok, I got hold of my electric bill and copied the Service Identification Number, for whatever purpose that may serve, frankly I don't know. Then added "kung Jollibee, kayang mag-deliver in 30 minutes or less with that address I gave, I am sure tech savvy Meralco know google as well."

And what is this guy asking me with "lawak ng walang kuryente"? Is this guy really asking me to survey the entire Novaliches area, asking house to house to find out how far and wide the power outage is?

Idiots. I tell you. There are far too many idiots in this country. I hereby announce on this blog that I am for post-natal abortion. Yeah, I said it.

I got less than 30 minutes left on my lap top battery. If there are grammar mistakes on this post, I shall correct them all later when I get electricity.

---------------------

Update: Power has been restored around 30 minutes after the response to my report. I guess the "Jollibee Challenge" did it.


Friday, April 6, 2012

I won!


This really belongs to my other blog (zyngapokerchampion) but I am just too happy that I had to post it twice! I won 100 USD in an online poker tournament (70 USD after taxes). For details click here.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

When a train hits you


"1 dead, 2 hurt as train hits tricycle in Laguna", screamed the news on the Inquirer.net. It is sadly a tragedy that was bound to happen. When trike drivers insist that their 40 kph home-made contraption be allowed to ply national roads and highways, and apparently even train tracks on this instance, you know it was just a matter of time.

What I find incredible about this news however is that, "The police were coordinating with the PNR to identify the driver of the train, who is facing charges of reckless imprudence resulting in homicide."

The train driver failed to turn to avoid the collision goes the thinking I suppose.

But heck, I am all for freedom from all government intervention on our personal liberties. Repeal the seat-belt law, the helmet law, the tricycle ban on national roads, etc. We are supposed to be a free society.  I say let's all be free to be stupid as we want to be and let Darwin's law improve the gene pool.

Guess what, when a train hits you because you are driving your tricycle right on or very near the train tracks where you are not supposed to be, it is your fault.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Nabentehan ako ng Smart


So this morning, on my way to do some fieldwork in Zambales, I registered for Smart's Lahat Text Promo. I was supposed to get free texts to all networks, 20 minutes call-time to Smart, TNT, or Red Mobile, and 50 mb worth of internet access, all consumable within the period of 3 days. I texted "LTU50" to 2266. And I received a confirmation textback that stated that indeed I am now registered for the said promo.

Late this afternoon, I made the usual call home to my significant other. After which I checked my balance. Lo and behold, my phone call was charged approximately 20 pesos. So I called Smart's customer service to inquire. I told them that I have registered for their promo this morning and called a TNT phone for no more than 3 minutes approximately. The customer service person told me that I should add *2266 before the 11 digit cell number for the promo to work. But I told her that was not stated in the promo. She told me it was. So yeah, maybe, in my break of dawn rush I might have not read carefully the after-registration text back. I was very polite because I thought it was my fault. And so I ended the call.

But when I checked the after-registration text back and even the original promo text, there was NEVER any mention of appending *2266 before the 11-digit number. So I called Smart's support service again. I explained that I called not more than 1 minute before and I was told that the *2266 mechanics was in the text. I told her "NO! You people are LYING!" And for what? To add the 20 pesos you have filched from me to your multi-billion peso profit for the year?  I said I wanted a refund. I was flatly told no. Because I did not follow their (secret) mechanics I was rightly charged that 20 pesos. I sarcastically told her that my only option now is to file a case with the DTI so I can refund my 20 pesos. 20 fucking pesos. You are a multi-billion peso company and you stole 20 pesos from me. You lie to steal 20 pesos.

Good job Smart! Great fucking service.

Monday, March 12, 2012

I object!


(photo from pcij.org) 

So the defense side of the impeachment trial against Chief Justice Renato Corona presented their first witness, Representative from the lone district of Navotas, Congressman Toby Tiangco. As to the materiality of his testimony, Sen. Jinggoy Estrada hit the nail right on the head when he commented that the defense is merely wasting the court's time by not tackling the accusations lobbed against the chief justice head-on.

I was expecting fireworks from the defense and was greatly disappointed. Even the highest of caliber lawyers, apparently, can not polish shit enough to shine.

But even more disappointing than that was the inability of the prosecution panel to comment on the most objectionable matter of the day, what the fuck is going on with Tiangco's hair?! 

Objection your honors. At very least, cite the man for contempt.


Friday, March 9, 2012

And in the news


A woman with a fake mole on her face was prevented from leaving for Singapore by airport officials at the NAIA recently according to the Inquirer. No, she was not trying to look like a certain resident of the Veteran's Memorial hospital, who coincidentally was given a pass to attend her brother-in-law's wake.

Meanwhile, according to a Department of Energy official, whose name I wasn't able to get because it flashed for a total of 0.47 seconds on 24 Oras, said that next week oil prices can either go up, go down, or stay the same. You have to give it to these government mouthpieces, they cover all the bases.

And finally, soon to be ex-Chief Justice Renato Corona made the stunning revelation that a Malacanang emissary and apparently sponsored by a senator political ally had asked him to resign even before the impeachment proceedings reached the Senate. Wow! Really? This is the first time I've heard about it. Oh please tell me more Mr. Corona, who else asked you to resign and spare the country of this political stalemate we are in right now? I heard that the president asked you to resign even before he was officially sworn into office? Tell us all about that.

So yeah, today is a "DUH" news day.

Fear not the zombie apocalypse fellow citizens of this country, save for Miriam the Magnificent, we are all now officially brainless.

Passive aggressive



Lesson number 1

Learn to say "thank you" instead of "fuck you".

Teacher lost your 1-month in the making report? Thank you ma'am!

Monday, March 5, 2012

That voice in my head



I sometimes catch myself, during dramatic moments in my life, narrating the scene in my head in the third person. I could be suffering brutal pain from my hyperacidity and hear that voice; "And so this is how it ends. He loved. He laughed. He lived. And yet, so much promise... unfulfilled." Or an argument with a girlfriend, "He loved her so dearly but even that wasn't enough. He would have died for her, if only she loved him a little, not even a lot."

And the funny thing is, besides that the narration is in English, is that it is not even my own voice. My life, as it flashes before my eyes, is narrated by Morgan Freeman. Too much Hollywood I guess.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Lesson learned


So the Porsche driving Bureau of Customs clerk finally resigned. Good riddance. Had it not been for that road rage shooting incident, Paulino Elevado would have gotten away with it too! Only in the Philippines would a 9,000 Php a month clerk afford a Porsche. Then again, our own Chief Justice got all those condo units with his government salary. So yeah, had his case been elevated to the Supreme Court, this guy surely would be found innocent.

Why do I get the feeling that Mr. Elevado has just opened a USD bank account?

Saturday, February 18, 2012

The kid just wants to play



And to think that just a few months ago, I was ready to give up on the NBA. The league of millionaire players squabbling with billionaire team owners over the last scrap of dollar. "This is not what inspires people!", if can paraphrase Jerry Maquire.

This was the league as one Jeremy Lin struggled to find his place under the NBA sun. He didn't quite fit the profile. Harvard degree in economics, undrafted even by colleges, and of course, Lin is Asian. Born in the USA to Taiwanese immigrant parents.

But the kid loves to play. All he wants to do is play. Even after he was cut by Golden State Warriors, waived by the Houston Rockets, then found himself the third-string point guard of the hapless New York Knicks. He was willing to ride the bench out and play garbage time, if only so he can hold on to that quickly dimming chance that he may be allowed to really play in the NBA -- one day. And that day finally came when both starting and relief point guards suffered an injury.

This is how you play the game. The seven straight wins, as of this writing, is not even it. There is genuine joy for every great play made. You see it in his stride. You can see it in his smile. Yes, people, the kid smiles in the heat of battle.

That Jeremy is Asian is incidental. That he is an inspiration is why I have succumbed to LINsanity!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

More fun stats



80% of the ads claiming 99% efficiency is 100% bullshitting you.

97% of the NBA finals MVP gave it their 110%.

Understandably only 1 out of 6 billion believed Al Gore's claim that he invented the internet.

On youtube, any male heterosexual is never more than 6 related videos away from a sexy clip.

30% of those who got tattoos did so because they wanted to be unique, like everyone else in their group.

Vegetarians are 23% more likely to be devoured by a tiger.

And remember people, you are 85% more likely to be believed if you cite a statistic even if that statistic is totally made up.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Another really cool thing


That sucks at the same time.


Getting top comment on a youtube video for some perv comment you made.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Raketeer




First editing job for a US client. Well, not exactly. I've done projects before for international clients. What I meant by that is, first editing job with me here while the client is halfway across the globe. Talk about telecommuting! The world has become just that smaller. Imagine, while I have my day job here (not editing), I get to moonlight in the US (or elsewhere for that matter).

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Ring names


Saw the Nonito Donaire fight this morning. Ho-hum, boring. And it is by no means "The Filipino Flash's" fault. It's really hard to make a fight of it when your opponent is intent on just surviving the twelve rounds with you. Nonito even had to monkey around a bit, trying to goad Vasquez to mix it up, but to no avail. What is this guy's ring name by the way? "El Pagong"? Not that he is slow. There is just no getting this guy out of his defensive shell.

I hate it when fighters do not live up to their ring names. When I read in the fight card "Matador" is fighting, I expect to see bodies being carried out of the arena. You see, there was a time folks, when fighters actually lived up to their billing. Gone are the day of  Roberto "Manos de Piedra (Hands of Stone)" Duran, "Marvelous" Marvin Hagler,  and Tommy "The Hitman" Hearns. Sugar Ray Leonard didn't even need a monicker. His name sans embellishment was enough to sell tickets.

Today's fighters should really consider changing their ring names. "El Dinamita" (Marquez) to "Angalero". "Money" (Mayweather) to "The Mouth". "Boom-Boom" (Bautista) to "Boom-Boom-Bust". "Pacman" can keep his. Also Erik "El Terrible" Morales. He's really terrible.

As for me, I want a ring name of my own. I am torn between two. Not too fancy. Definitely not an exaggeration. It's either "Suntokero" or "Ilagero". Either one would be just perfect.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Fight I want to see


If not Pacquiao-Mayweather, which I've nearly given up on, can we have at least an Annabel Rama-Miriam Defensor-Santiago no holds barred debate on child protection laws? What can I say, I am bored.

Friday, January 20, 2012

A pretty labored metaphor


I really should stop smoking. It's bad for me and all that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shut up already. I know. Ok? The thing is, though I know that "smoking kills" to be a scientific fact, at the back of my mind I still believe I can get away with it. And by getting away with it, I mean I believe that I will die some other way and not because of lung cancer or emphysema. We all gotta go someday -- smoking or non-smoking. So yeah, chances are, I am going to get run over by a bus. So, no sense me quitting now.

You see, though I believe that smoking can kill me, that level of belief is not the same as say, a bullet to the head. Prove to me that smoking is definitely going to kill me and I will stop right now.

There is a point to this blog post. And it is not an attempt to make smoking sound cool. No. This is my attempt to explain how these "believers" can invoke the name of God in their attempts to dupe the public and evade justice. There is a glut of that on local news recently. Too obvious, too brazen, that I feel no burden to even point out the self-evident.

As God is my witness, I know these people will pay for their sins. If not here, then in the after life.

You see, while these people believe in God (and consequently "sin") is something like smoking, I believe that sinning is a bullet to the head.



Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Why


Hundreds of thousands of devotees unmindful of the terror threat that a government determined to not get caught with their pants down had to unleash the full might of the Philippine National Police. A strange spectacle to some. A major inconvenience to most.

And all I can think about is why? Why is there no such thing as pork mami? I mean you have beef, you have chicken, why does pork have to hide as wanton? Wanton is made of pork right? I don't know. Maybe it is just too early in the year for me. But I have a feeling that something is terribly wrong somewhere. This bigotry against pork has got to stop.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Predictions 2012


In this year of the water dragon, idiots will continue to seriously consider the predictions of feng shui experts as reported by journalists who are either too dumb or too lazy to realize that these are blatant lies. I don't know, as predictions go, maybe experts who can give financial advise or predict business trends are too much of a crazy idea for the Filipino audience. So yeah, let's continue on with brain farts given the legitimacy of news reports. We are all just too dumb.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy new year everyone


Second day of the year and I'm back at the salt mines, trying my darndest best to make this final year in the Mayan calendar count.

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For the few of you who know me in real life, my dear kamag-anak inc., and friends from my Facebook account, please know that while I blog mostly about my life and my posts are made in the first person point of view, I do, from time to time, exercise literary license. Yes, I lie! Lol. No. Some of the stories depicted here are fiction. That I do not tell which is which, makes it a little more fun, doesn't it?

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Mungo Conspiracy would like to thank:

Kuya Bing for all the support without which I would not have been able to start this blog. My baby sister Charo, who has always been my number one fan. Gie for twisting Kuya Bing's arms to lend me support. Rocky for being the first follower. Chris for the free ad space on MTC.

I would also like to mention Kuya Jong and Kuya Rolly, Rex, Kim, and all of my pumpkins, Dustin, Innah, Jonas, Danwell, Glea, Jiro, Ram, Yzab, Hannah, and Annika, who are my inspirations for many of my stories here.

And thanks to the Iligan Chapter of the conspirators who were the first to fill-up my followers' box! :)

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email : mungoconspiracy@gmail.com