Saturday, December 17, 2011

Meri xmas kuya


Tough work year is over and I am tired... really tired. So it was not without a great sense of relief that I finally managed to drag myself home from another out of town assignment. The last for the year.

We did alright. And I shared in the company's profit. So much so that I could afford to finally buy another laptop -- for the significant other so we don't have to share. And if you know me, you would know that I don't make such purchases unless I have enough buffer in savings. As for me, I got a new android phone. A purchase I partly now regret, if only because the price, as I feared, dove a few months after I bought mine. I would've saved maybe two thousand pesos if I waited another two months.

So yeah, it was an alright year. Better than the last one. And next year promises to be even better. But believe you me when I tell you this, I bleed for every single peso that I earn. So next year's promise of an even better year translates to even more blood-letting.

So there I was in the apartment, de-stressing from the year that was and already preparing myself for the year to come when someone knocks on my door.

"Meri xmas kuya."

It was this guy who hangs around the housing complex who does odd jobs for residents. Not me, I do my own "odd jobs".

"Tang in..." I caught myself mid-sentence, and just decided to slam the door.

Tell me, since when did "meri xmas" translate to "give me money"? I was not raised to be ungenerous. But come on! Saying "meri xmas" that way is almost blasphemous. It is supposed to be Jesus' birthday. Are you Jesus? No? Then F you.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Constitutional crisis


Been busy lately. Christmas rush and all. So save for quick reads of mostly just the headlines I really haven't been following the news. So it is only this morning that I finally got it. The midnight-appointee supreme court chief justice has just been impeached by congress. For awhile back there I was thinking that "constitutional crisis" was just media's code word for Gloria's LBM.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Laying the groundwork


Here are the facts:

1. Former (fake) president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo claimed that she needed to go abroad to get medical treatment for her bone ailment. This procedure can not be done in the Philippines. Nor can it be done in the US, where we have an extradition treaty. It is the rarest or diseases that can only be treated in an unnamed country where the Philippines do not have an extradition treaty.

2. On the day that the attending doctors of Gloria from the St. Luke's got subpoenaed to testify under oath regarding Gloria's medical condition, miracle of all miracles, she was suddenly "fit to leave the hospital". Miracles do happen of course.

3. And today, when the Pasay RTC ordered the transfer of Gloria to a government hospital, the Veteran's Memorial Medical Center, there is now a plot to kill the former (fake) president.

Conclusion:

The Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo camp is laying the groundwork for innocent by reason of insanity defense.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Shoe business


The trick used to be to price items 5 centavos less than the actual selling price. 999.95 pesos instead of 1,000 pesos. The idea is to soften the sticker shock somewhat. And it worked until people realized that the cashier is never going to give you your 5 centavos back. Not voluntarily anyway. Of course, if the cashier is cute enough, I am that guy who insists I get my 5 centavos -- if only so I can chat her up longer.

Today, I go to the grocery store and I see items being sold per half kilo. What's going on here? Since when did 1/2 become a unit? Pricier items like tiger prawns are in fact being sold per 1/4 kilo. Are these people serious? Surely this is by design. They are lying to us via fractions. They figure it's harder for Juan to complain if  he is tasked to do mental fractions. I am just crossing my fingers that the Big Three oil companies do not resort to this tactic and start selling diesel per half liter. Or Meralco, per half a kilowatt hour.

But you know what? I'm going into a side business myself. I'll be selling men's and ladies' shoes this Christmas shopping season. Knock-offs from China that I assure you is just as good as the original. Just message me if you are interested. I'll be selling them at 999.95 pesos per shoe.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Dear Dato


Let me explain something to you. Perhaps, you are a little confused, but "tapang ng apog" is not the same as bravery. Apparently, you have inherited the same "tapang" from your mother. It takes nothing less than that same "tapang" to continue to sit as representative of a congressional district carved out of nothing to benefit you. Knowing that you are nothing but a manicurista appointed to the board.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Philippine ex-pres flies to Singapore


I am not lying. This is all true. While the media attention was focused at the St. Luke's hospital for the serving of the arrest warrant on ex-president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, ex-president Joseph "Erap" Estrada slipped out of the country and flew to the city-state of Singapore. You gotta love this guy. All that for a joke, I am almost sure.

And hey, please tell me. I am not really that familiar with police arrest protocol. But is it standard operating procedure to cuff suspects on the neck?

Friday, November 18, 2011

The King of Kong


If you have an hour twenty minutes to spare, this is one documentary you should definitely watch. Trust me. Even if you do not like video games this is one movie worth watching till the end credits. See for yourself if by mid-movie you still have not started caring who owns the world record in Donkey Kong. 



Monday, November 14, 2011

Clear winner


I am aware of my own bias. Yes, I want our own Manny Pacquiao to win the fight. But because of this awareness, know that I am making a conscious effort to not let this bias taint my opinion. That said, I honestly believe that Pacquiao clearly won that fight against the game challenger Juan Manuel Marquez.

1. CompuBox scoring had Manny Pacquiao ahead. Here is the link. Juan Manuel Marquez was ahead slightly in the first half of the fight. But Manny clearly scored more power punches in the latter rounds. Marquez was wailing wildly and missing badly near the end of the fight. Watch the video again.

2. For rounds too close to call, judges usually reward and give the round to the aggressor and not the counter-puncher. There are at least 4 rounds that may be deemed "too close to call". And who was the aggressor in the fight? Who was constantly pushing forward?

3. Manny Pacquiao was the defending champion. Champions only need to defend their crowns. Challengers need to take it away from the champion. Did Juan Manuel Marquez do enough to take it away from Manny? Hmmmm... no. Even if the CompuBox stats were reversed, Manny would still deserve to retain the crown. Challengers need to win convincingly. Close fights, champions retain their crowns.

4. If you are unable to knock-out your opponent, the rule of professional boxing states that you go to do the judges' score cards (and not ask the opinion of the spectators). So Marquez fans can cry all they want, but they do not get to decide. And oh yeah, fighters do not get to choose the judges, but they have the power to disapprove the selection of a judge (in pre-fight negotiations). So whoever those judges were, Juan Manuel Marquez' camp approved them.

5. Then there is the useless observation that Manny behaved like he had lost, because he looked really disappointed after the bell had rung for the end of the 12th  round, while Marquez was raising his hands in jubilation. Of course Manny was disappointed. He wanted to knock Marquez out. And Marquez was just too happy to have once again stood toe-to-toe with the undisputed pound for pound king. Imagine Barangay Ginebra losing by just 3 points against the LA Lakers. Wouldn't they celebrate that loss too?

Finally, huwag kayong magulo. Pag ako naasar, ako na mismo ang lalaban kay Marquez. :)


Saturday, November 12, 2011

Your move, SC




So yeah, part of me feels sorry for little Yoda. But wait, I get the feeling that this is all carefully staged and part of a sinister plan. "Sorry" is exactly how I am supposed to feel.

Question. Why can't she file a final intenerary for that proposed medical trip? Could it be that she is going elsewhere? Rendezvouz to another location that she can not now reveal? Look a little closer at the picture. "Escape" is the least of our problems.

As a citizen of this planet, I feel it is my duty to remind the Supreme Court of the Philippines that this Jedi has gone over to the dark side. Honorable Justices, I beseech you, the possibility is very real. She may be trying to link up to the mothership for the final installment on her armor --  and come back as Darth Vader.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Empathy


Why am I not moved? Why do I feel no empathy for these people now trying to gain public sympathy? On one side there is that mother of 9 bastards, at least two of which are suspected to have participated in the murder of their kuya so they can afford themselves a bigger slice of that 1M php monthly allowance pie. Then there is the former fake president who've recently released photos of herself, clearly designed to generate public sympathy. I wish she would read the public's reaction on the inquirer.net so she can see for herself how well that went.

No. No. No.

Making yourself look pathetic in photos and/or press releases is not enough to gain public sympathy. Not in this day and age. Not when everytime one goes out anywhere in Metro Manila, one is constantly confronted by street kids begging for coins. We are all constantly bombarded by images and smells much more pathetic than your lame attempts. And if by these constant bombardments our hearts have grown cold and unsympathetic to your woes, do not blame us. This country is the way it is in large part because of people like you.

But try this and maybe our cold hearts might be moved a little. If you can paint an honest picture of yourself, that there is/was some goodness in you, then maybe, just maybe, the heart of the public might soften a little. But can you, Genelyn? Can you Gloria?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Actually


Senator Tito Sotto of "Eat Bulaga" fame was quoted this morning on the Philippine Daily Inquirer that the 7 billionth baby should not be made the poster child of the RH bill. Actually, he is right. Actually, the poster boy of the RH bill should be one Ramon Bautista, aka Kapitan Inggo, aka Former Senator Ramon Revilla Sr. Actually, if that story wasn't so tragic this might be funny. When actually it is not. But actually, this being such a boring day, I've decided to actually overuse the word "actually" like some semi-literate lunatic. It is actually quite annoying. I know -- actually.


Thursday, October 27, 2011

And this is how I know


Growing up, I never had a record collection. Mostly, because I was/am a bit of a tightwad compounded by the fact that I'm nearly always broke. And so, I had to make do with listening to my brothers' music. That wasn't so bad. My brothers have good taste, which roughly translates to no Michael Jackson, no Madonna, no Lady Gaga.

But now, left on my own, I find myself scouring Youtube for downloadables intended for my phone. I'm only now discovering my music -- minus the sibling influence.

Right now, I have Matchbox 20's "Unwell" and "Push".  Of course, there is Alanis Morisette's "You ought to know". I'm planning to download more from Alanis' Jagged Little Pill album later. I miss her, the crazy little bat from hell version at least.

As for Green Day, I have the classic "Time of your life", and of course, "Basket case". No, I'm not feeling "Wake me up when September ends" which I think stinks of sell-out.

These are songs I've never heard my brothers play. It is all mine.

Of course, when I do find more time, I do plan to download some from Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and maybe a little Nirvana -- all sibling influenced.

I was doing this most of the day yesterday, which the significant female in my life found amusing. And because I had let her hog the stereo all this time, it is only now that she too is discovering my taste in music. Her new favorite now is Alanis' "You ought to know". If not for yesterday's activities, the significant female would otherwise be too young to have known Alanis. Thank you Youtube.

First she was attracted by Alanis' vocals. Particularly that part where Alanis gargles the word "you" in the chorus. Then I explained to her what the song is all about. Well, that did it. Last night, she was singing along, trying to memorize the lyrics.

And that, my friends, is how I know -- she is the one.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Whatever it was


you did
or failed to do

no matter how far from grace
you may have fallen

always remember
there is still the rest of your life to live

never hate
never give up
never settle
for anything less
than what your heart truly desires

tomorrow forever holds the promise
of a better day

this is God's gift to you

Saturday, October 15, 2011

My Galaxy Mini


It is roughly two weeks now since I bought my first Android phone, a Samsung Galaxy Mini. It is a leap from my previous phone, a Nokia model that can be resold now for less than 500 pesos I believe (any takers?).

So, the Galaxy Mini is the cheapest, most basic Android phone from Samsung. You get one camera, a 3" touch screen, practically no internal phone memory though 2 gigs are available with the micro SD card sold with the phone. The casing is a little slippery so it is advisable to fit it with a jelly casing. I also bought the scratch-proof screen protector, a new pouch, and a 16 gig micro SD. All in all, I spent roughly 9K pesos for it.

Of course, this being my first internet phone, I had to spend more than a day figuring out how to stop losing my load. Yeah, took me that long to figure out how to stop my phone from connecting to the internet -- you have to, or you will be charged 20 pesos per hour by Smart.

I've installed free apps from the market, which I love (yes, angry ang bird ko!). I am now able to access my gmail from just about anywhere. Yahoo mails are a little backward, because they are asking you to register a new mobile mail account with them. So what happens to my old mail account, Yahoo? I might just have to abandon  them since they are slowly becoming too edsamail-ish.

The camera has acceptable resolution. But since you only have one at the back of the phone, it is quite a challenge to take photos of yourself. To further complicate things, the touchscreen button doesn't help when you have the phone facing the other way. And yeah, the Mini has no flash.

Battery will last less than 6 hours if you are using it as a mobile internet device. Otherwise, I am told it will last more than a week if you use it only as a phone.

The 3" screen is a little too small to fit column spaces in newspapers (like the inquirer.net). The frontpage is ok. But reading the full story is a little struggle, to read from left to right, you have to keep pushing the screen all the time. This reminds me, I need to get this blog available in mobile format. I'm sure Google/blogger has the solution for it. Android is Google after all.

All in all, I am happy with the purchase. It takes some getting used to, but now, I can't imagine going back to my old jurassic phone.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Test post


Using my android phone in gprs country. My late father would have loved this device, being the master typist with two fingers. I'm using only one.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The big difference


The editorial of today's Inquirer admonishes PNoy for not visiting the flood stricken areas sooner. Think symbols it said. A photo-op of a president physically handing out a bag of relief goods might have done the trick. In other words, the Inquirer editorial wants more of the same old showbiz style politics that has been the downfall of our country.

What gives Inquirer? Don't you all get it? This is a president unburdened by the need to perpetuate his hold on to power beyond what the constitution mandates. When his term is over, PNoy will go. And yes, like he said, he will be missed.

A welcome relief, finally, a president who is no longer campaigning.

The AFP, DSWD and other agencies tasked to help the typhoon victims had already pre-positioned their assets even before Quiel hit. And right in the thick of it, the president was seen on tv coordinating with the heads of  these agencies on how best to serve the needs of the typhoon victims. Oh but the Inquirer missed all that. Because PNoy did not go to Bulacan and distribute the one photo-op bag of relief goods himself.

Yes, think symbols, Inquirer. You are right on that one point. But as far as symbols go, do not miss the symbols that you do not see. Let me give you a hint, when was the last time you saw a TV ad, paid for by PAGCOR, praising the president for his/her good works? Therein lies the big difference.


Monday, October 3, 2011

My phone


Before the year ends, I'm planning to buy me an android phone. For anyone who knows me, this is quite a leap. Consider this, my current phone is a Nokia model that costs less than 1,000 pesos. I would have stuck it out with my previous even more basic phone (that worked just fine) if not for the JAVA applications required to access my bank account. So yeah, my phone is basically the kind given to drivers and yayas.

It's not that I am a techno-phobe nor am I that guy who just refuses to go with current trends. It's not like that at all. It's just that I remember my first PC, a pentium 133 Mhz with 200 MB of hard disk space. I remember burning CDs with that when CDs cost 500 pesos a pop. How much do CDs cost nowadays? 10 pesos? And it is not even CDs anymore, they are DVDs.

So yeah, I am amazed by the 800 Mhz and gigabytes upon gigabytes of memory currently available on net-phones. And we all know that this is not the end. Next year's version would have even more. And more on top of that in the years to come. So when should I buy the next phone? This year when I know this year's phone is going to be next to obsolete before next year ends?

Hmmmm.... I know. I'm  buying, before the year ends, last year's phone for half the price.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Vicki vs. Hayden


If no one else sees it, then let me be the one to say it, nothing should give us more hope than these two. Love is a very strange fish. If these two can find it in themselves to love one another in spite of it all, then maybe, just maybe, there is a chance for the rest of us. Life is not a Disney movie.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Learn


the lessons
from the mistake of others
for the lessons learned
from your own mistakes
are often too little
too late

Friday, September 23, 2011

Ok lang


Ask me "Kumusta na?", and I will quickly tell you "Ok lang". No, that is not the standard automatic pre-programmed reply. Strange enough, "Ok lang" is the honest and accurate reply to the question. Ok lang ako. Talaga.

But ask me "Are you happy?", and I will have to answer that question with another question, "Do you want the standard pre-progammed reply or the honest detailed reply?" Never mind. Ok lang ako. Talaga.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

5 in 1


After almost 2 weeks straight on an out of town assignment, I finally managed to drag myself home about an hour or so ago (3 am now). I'm dead tired. And the significant female in my life is at her sister's, taking care of her sick mother. So tomorrow, first thing in the morning, is laundry day. I am not complaining. I am just tired.

Good thing though, I think I caught the TV ad  for it once or twice, there is now a 5 in 1 laundry detergent?! Wow. I am going to try that. Crossing my fingers that 5 in 1 means this new breakthrough in laundry soap technology is going to soap, rinse, dry, iron, and fold my clothes. Wish me luck!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Don't ever let anyone


tell you or make you feel
less than what you are actually worth
know that you are always loved

Friday, September 9, 2011

Be careful what you deserve


Rarely do we ever get what we wish for, but nearly always what we deserve.

Friday, September 2, 2011

The language of function


I was at the ATM this morning and the machine confronted me with the choice,  English or Pilipino? I quickly selected English out of habit, not wishing to delay the process as there was a long queue behind me. But as I was taking my money out of the machine, I briefly paused as a thought suddenly popped into my head, does that mean there is just a little bit of James Soriano in me? I mean, it is easier for me to write in English than Tagalog, reason why this blog is mostly English. And in fact, I am one of those who are just a little pissed with Google for constantly pushing to transliterate my internet to Tagalog.

I am the product of my (mis)education, sadly. And English, as far as I am concerned, is the language of function. It would probably take me 5 times longer to write my quarterly reports in Tagalog if I have to do it that way.

But Tagalog is the language of the streets? As I read James' arguments on why he thinks this is so, I was deeply saddened. I pity the kid for the shallowness of his life experience. If all you've used Tagalog for is to talk to your driver or yaya then clearly you've lived a far too sheltered life in the Philippines. The kid needs to go out more. I bet this kid has yet to be employed by Germans, Swedes, Finns, or have met Filipinos in the caliber of a Randy David. Offer to these people the idea that "English is for the learned" and you would be thought of, ironically, as "provincial". You really think that his little life of privilege in this part of the world would impress people who know more of the world?

Because I am Filipino, born and raised in the Philippines to Filipino parents, with mostly Filipino friends, Tagalog for me is the language of the heart. I pity James for never having had his mother sing him an uyaye. For never belonging to a tropa. For never experiencing a semplang on his bike. For not knowing how to bola a tsikas. Fire and brimstone for this poor kid? No. The kid simply needs to live a little more and experience life outside the comforts of his privileged bubble -- and stop being a foreigner in his own homeland.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Happiness


is a fragile
fleeting moment
that is nearly
never there
only the lonely heart
remembers

Thursday, August 25, 2011

In Soviet Russia


You do not find love, love finds you.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

3D movie


I finally did it. Watched a movie in 3D. Yeba!

That this was the first time also means, of course, that I did not watch those blue creatures of James Cameron, not even with all the media hype. Nor did I succumb to all the word of mouth peer pressure. I was missing out they all say. Half my life, some insisted. I remember they said the same thing about "Disney on Ice".

I was really interested in the new technology, of course, and it is not from all their convincing. I did want to see what this 3D movie technology is all about. But MOA was just a little too far and the price just a little too steep. And I am a very patient man. I can wait for the technology to come closer to home and the price to a little more reasonable range.

I was right. Two years later, 3D movie technology arrived at SM Fairview. 300 pesos a ticket that includes one bucket of buttered pop corn! No, I did not miss the fact that the popcorn is just a clever ploy to sell those overpriced soda -- I just didn't want to digress.

The movie is a remake of the classic "Conan the Barbarian". I loved that movie -- the original. I saw that as a kid on betamax, I believe. I'm nearly sure of it, if only because I would be too young to watch that in a movie theater back then.

I don't know about this new version. Something is a little off. After the novelty of the 3D thing had worn off,  I began to notice the very thin plot -- if you can even call it a plot. Not even all the 3D technology in the world can prop this movie up. Poor acting. Poor storyline. Hot chick was not that hot. Conan character way too cartoonish. Just imagine, Arnold Schwarzenegger is twice the better actor than this one. Against how many other actors can you say that?

So here I am, back in my house, all pop-corned out to eat a decent dinner, wishing I had watched something else worthy of a first time 3D movie experience. This Conan was definitely not it.

Original Conan = epic. Conan remake = epic fail.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

24 Oras!!!


So I am watching 24 Oras, trying to pay attention, but underneath the video is this scrolling text -- the "ticker news" I believe is the jargon for it. So I am now forced to try and digest two streaming bits of information at a time. It takes a bit of concentration to actually to do this. Especially for me as I've the habit of going into tunnel vision whenever I am actually paying attention.

So ok, Einstein, my brain is now trained to multi-task. But that scrolling text is really distracting. It would not be so bad if they bothered to use correct spelling and syntax. Having worked as an editor once, my brain goes into "correct that" mode whenever I spot them.

Tell me, since when did it become the norm to always end sentences with an exclamation point? "Aljur Abrenica,  mayroon ng bagong show!" Am I the only one who is not excited about that bit of news? I wonder how many exclamation points it's going to take for information that is actually exciting and important? "Khaddafy finally steps down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Monday, August 8, 2011

I am pissed


And it is not because I am religious, or that I am Catholic (I no longer am, for the record). But when some charlatan (who shall not be named, baka sumikat pa) sticks a penis on the forehead of Jesus and calls it art, yes that pisses me off.

I am pissed in the same way I am pissed that corporate execs can put together a committee to string together words and notes, makes Britney Spears perform it, then call it music. I am pissed because these fools dare call that garbage art. I am pissed because I am an artist.

That is not art. Shame on all those who dare call it that.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Beer flavor


There is something thoroughly depressing about eating breakfast at the 7-11. Maybe it is the microwave giving your cornbeefsilog an industrial flavor. Or maybe it is the fact that you are not supposed to know, therefore do not chit-chat with the 7-11 attendant. I don't know, if only for the friendly banter, I prefer Manang Carinderia's 2-day-old-a-tad-too-salty-adobo.

But sometimes, crunch time at work forces one to do the depressing meals. And just this morning, on top of the depressing microwaved sandwich, I noticed too that San Miguel has come out with flavored beers. There is apple and lemon, now available at the 7-11.

I am not sure why, but this depressed me even more. Maybe I am just the recalcitrant fool who refuses to get on with the new program. But let me be the one to say it, there is something to be said about beer flavored beer.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Konting IQ test lang po


QUESTION: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is to Hello Garci, as Mike Arroyo is to, what?
ANSWER: Hello-copter.


Pulot lang po mula sa isang comment sa Inquirer.net mula sa isang may handle na ztefertilizerfundscam.



Thursday, July 28, 2011

Can you hear that?


The silence is deafening!

Where are the usual Gloria apologists? Where have they all gone? Your queen is dying. And not a whimper from your side. Not since the PCSO and bishops melodrama at the senate. Not that I want to hear any more of your lies. I am just seriously wondering.

One ashtray on the presidential desk, if I recall, was your final shot at digging up dirt at this presidency. Nice effort you guys. Ashtrays, indeed, have been known to spark the flames of revolution. Whose idea was that? Seriously. Give the man a Nobel prize for "idiocy".

Could it be? This silence is finally the white flag flying by even the most die-hard of liars, giving up on that sunken Arroyo boat? Anyone? Edcel Lagman? Len Bautista-Horn? Anything?

Where are you Ignacio Bunye? Kindly explain to us again what those 2 CDs are again. Remember? Those 2 you held in that most infamous of your press conferences. You think we would forget? History will forever remember you. Down to the last Bunye that will carry your name. And for what? That 30 pieces of silver? Tell us, was it worth it?

Well, good riddance to you all. And no, we will not forget you. Not even now when you choose to hide behind your silence.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Coming soon


To a theater near you.

At the rate things are going, with his dramatic prowess in full display, it won't be long before we see Zaldy Ampatuan in a critically-acclaimed indie film. Working title, "When Harry met Zaldy".

Either that or his next stop will be to sing the national anthem in, Representative from Sarranggani, Manny Pacquiao's next fight.

I can't wait.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Natural


Out one hot and humid day, I found myself in a sari-sari store trying to buy a Coke. They had run out. In fact they've run out of all drinks familiar to me. All they had was this Cobra drink that was supposed to boost my energy, or at least that was what it said so in their ads. So yeah, thirsty and without a choice I got to test this new drink.

Tindera handed  me a bottle and it felt cold in my hand, so I thought, perfect, just what I needed. But first the smell, just the smell and I feared the worst. But the Bear Grylls in me -- check that, parched and desperate for anything, I tried it anyway. But damn, that thing tastes nasty! So unreal. So unnatural.

But then again, after I had spat out the thing and tried to hanky the taste off from my mouth, I thought, and Coke is supposed to be natural? Hmmmm... I've been drinking Coke since I started school. So from age 6, I was a Coke drinker. But no, Coke is NOT natural. Just familiar.

Which brings me to another thought, it won't be too long now when instant pancit canton becomes "natural". And gone forever are the days, I fear, when boiling tamarind (sampaloc) to make a sour broth was the only way to make sinigang.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Vindicated ba kamo?


Hindi ako eksperto sa bibliya. Kaya nang mangyari ang iskandalo sa PCSO at mga obispo, ako ay napabasa. Pilit kong hinanap ang parte kung saan humingi si Hesus ng 4 x 4 chariot kay Cesar, para mas mapadali at mapabilis ang kanyang pag-serbisyo sa mga nangangailangan. Wala akong nakita. Bagkus, aking nabasa, "Ibigay kay Cesar ang kay Cesar, at sa Diyos ang sa Diyos". Yun naman pala, kay Kristo mismo nanggaling ang konsepto ng separation of church and state.

Basa pa ulit ng konti. Si Kristo ay inalok ng demonyo ng buong mundo mismo. Lahat ng kayamanan, karangyaan, at pag-iwas sa kanyang napakasakit at napakahirap na fate. Ito ay Kanyang tinanggihan. 

Simple ang aral. Huwag tumanggap ng alok ng demonyo. E mag-solicit kaya? Pwede ba? Sa tingin nyo? Tama bang mag-solicit sa demonyo? Ewan ko. Hindi ako eksperto.

Pero vindicated daw ang mga obispo. Nang sila ay lumabas matapos ng kanilang pagbigay ng testimonya sa mga senador na marahil umaasa sa kanilang suporta sa mga darating na eleksyon. Wala raw Pajero. Pero teka, di ba ang Montero ay Pajero sa ibang ngalan? Ano ang diperensya ng 1.6 milyon sa 1.6 milyon? Meron ba?

Oo na. Sige na. Vindicated na. Sabi nyo e. Matapos na lang ito. Kunin na ninyo ang "vindication" nyo. Kung dun kayo sasaya. Pero ang humingi pa ng paumanhin mula sa pangulo at pamunuan ng PCSO? Teka muna. Talaga bang gusto nyo ng mas masusing pagsusuri? Gusto nyo bang talagang ungkatin natin ang lahat ng detalye ng mga sasakyang inyong isinauli? Alam nyo bang ang standards sa mga red plate (mga sasakyang pag-aari ng gobyerno)? Binigyan na kayo ng free pass. Huwag nang humirit pa.

Aking ikinabit ang isang maikling video mula sa youtube. Isang munting aral sa lahat ng mga kampon ni Gloria na humaharap at haharap pa sa senado.


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Iron fist


Woke up this morning to the news that another bunch of tourists (Fil-Am family) have been abducted by suspected Abu Sayyaf terrorists from a resort somewhere in Zamboanga. I thought, that's just a few hundred kilometers away from Davao City. You rarely ever hear that shit happening there.

I've been to Davao when it was still the patriarch, Rodrigo Duterte's turn at being mayor. It was just a few years after he had cleaned house. Getting rid of the NPAs, among other scalawags from the city. I remember the human rights advocates crying murder over it. But in the end, the result was, Davao is a city, right smack in the middle of the chaos that is Mindanao, free from all the nonsense associated with Mindanao.

I remember wishing I could find a job there, if only so I can stay. Davao is what Metro Manila ought to be. Clean, orderly, no traffic. Whatever the Duterte magic was, the proof of the pudding was definitely in the eating. But to be sure, it is no secret. Rodrigo himself will tell you that that magic is the iron fist. The same iron fist, I suppose, his own daughter now wields and demonstrated on that much viewed youtube clip incident.

Of course, as to be expected from them, opinion writers, human rights advocates, every mother and her uncle, would cry foul. Respect the rule of law they all cried.

Hmmm... the rule of law...

The same rule of law used by that rich son of a former senator to get himself off the hook? The same rule of law used by Gloria and her cabal to protect themselves over all these years from prosecution? The same rule of law that freed General Garcia with half his loot intact? That rule of law?

If not that, what rule of law are we talking about here? Oh you mean the rule of law that prevented the SWAT snipers from taking the first available shot at that mad Luneta bus hostage taker? You mean that?

But oh please, do not misread me. I am all FOR the rule of law. Just not the letter of the law. But the spirit of the law. And that spirit, of course, as always is -- JUSTICE.

Sara Duterte spared Davao from bloodshed that morning. Improvised arrows have already been fired and gun shots returned before she arrived at the scene. She had asked for only 2 hours reprieve. And it is standard operating procedure anyway for such demolition operations to take place with government officials present. That these were not observed, that poor civil servant got punched in the face. Poor fellow.  

But that is the human rights violation you want to cry about? Trust me. It takes major balls and nothing less than an iron fist to keep peace in Davao. Anything less than that, and it might as well be Basilan. Go crying human rights violation there. And go lecture the Abu Sayyaf, Etta Rosales, about human rights.

Monday, July 11, 2011

This is not Farmville



If I have not been updating this blog as much as I have in the past, it is because I've become addicted to this total waste of time. The game is Evony. An online game that I can best describe as Farmville on roids. 

You build cities (I've got two, with flags flying the name of my significant other), train troops, and try to smack another player's city to try and capture it, or plunder its resources. 

I am now, 3 months into the game, still a noob by Evony standards. But already made officer in a mid-level alliance I've grown to love, TruWar. 

The game is so consuming that I've abandoned my two poker accounts (for now), as I try to go and look for those elusive rose medals. I know that doesn't make sense to you civilians. But trust me, rose medals are the thing.

So if ever you happen to find yourself in North March (on the wn4 server), try and look us up. I am nearly always there.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Enough of the hypocrisy


And just tell us, dear church leaders, how many Pajeros is it going to take for you to support the RH Bill? Trust us, the RH Bill is a far less evil than Gloria's plundering ways. If you can overlook that, as one good Bishop Juan de Dios Pueblos assured that erring fake president of his "constant support" should he be gifted with a brand new 4 x 4, surely this is not too out of line. P-Noy can then just sign that off as "representation fee" and charge it to the promotion of the RH Bill.

It's a win-win. Just get off your high horses and tell us. You've not the moral ascendancy to sermon on morals. No, not now. And oh yeah, as to your defense that you see nothing wrong with it? All the more gives us no reason to believe you when you speak of morals.

Pajero lang katapat. Yun ba ang moral?

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Just 10 years ago


Believe it or not, I didn't have a cellphone. Not even a pager. My first cellphone, a Nokia 3210 hand-me-down from kuya, would come later in the year. What this means, which is unthinkable now, was that when I was not within range of a land-line (home or office), I was off the grid. And no one can complain about that. I can disappear from everyone. And that was simply that.

I no longer have that freedom. I've answered calls from the comforts of my "throne" (should be a sacred place). Even once (or twice) while doing it with my significant other (just had to take the call). Remember the good old days when it was considered bad manners to make phone calls around noon or 6 pm, because they're supposed to be mealtimes? Or calls after 11 pm better be a life and death kind of important? Ever had a text after 12 MN that simply says "musta na?" Ugh. Chit-chat at that unholy hour? Or worse, 2 or 3 text messages during important meetings, and it is you provider telling you about their latest promo?

The more connected we get, the less freedom we have. I bet Mr. Bell didn't foresee this coming.

I used to have a Globe phone. Kept the number for about 5 years if only because they hardly offered unlimited texts options. Hey, if you are going to text me, it must be important enough that you are willing to spend 1 peso for it. But such arrogance had to end, when the significant other insisted I get a Smart phone, so she can text me all she wants.

I have two Facebook accounts, four active email accounts, one cellphone, this blog, and the other one, and I've lost the feeling of "being lost".

What a difference a decade makes.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Bored


If you find yourself bored, consider yourself very fortunate. Yes, that's right, you are fortunate to be bored. Boredom is a luxury for only those without real problems. There are dark days when I pray for one boring day. Just one boring day, please, oh dear God, give me one boring day.

Hungry people are not bored, they are hungry. Homeless people are not bored, they are homeless and tired and uncomfortable. People in pain are never bored.

Today, I thank God for this one boring Sunday. I wish you all dear readers a boring Sunday as well.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Post-mortem


Took me a long time to post this. So long that this is not even news anymore. Still hurts a bit, but hats off to the Dallas Mavericks for beating the talented Miami Heat. I am a die-hard D-Wade fan, you see.

One thing, I am glad that if the Miami had to lose in the Finals, it would be to the Mavs. I would still be too pissed today had it been those flamboyant Laker show-offs. Hate them.

The Mavericks played like champions. No real highlights to speak of. Not really. Not even in the Finals. They just quietly went about doing their jobs the entire year. Slaying one pretender after the other. And exposing that biggest pretender to the throne, James, in the Finals. Hate to admit it, but part of me was happy for Cleveland.

There is a lesson to be learned by all from this, I guess. Spectacular is for a-holes. Resiliency and quiet efficiency, now, that gets the job done.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Burger with cheese


Money was real tight back when I was a student. So tight that burgers became a de facto category in my main food groups. And by burgers, I don't mean the Jollibee kind, which was a luxury at the time, but the 20-peso burger from a mobile cart kinda deal.

It wasn't so bad. You eventually get used to the cardboardy taste after a while. But what really ticked me off about the whole situation was when I became aware of the evil imperialist machinations of the burger industry.

"With cheese, sir?" The girl innocently asked after I've placed an order for a burger. Just a burger. No order for a coke. No fries. And damned well no cheese. The extra 3 pesos I needed to shell out for that sliver of what they hope passes for cheese was simply beyond my financial capacity. Surely, these burger cart operators were aware of this. I mean, I am ordering a hamburger from a mobile cart. That alone tells you my last bank account balance didn't break 100. So why the darned stupid automatic question? Was that supposed to be rhetorical?

So I just had to shoot back at the evil empire, "Miss, burger with cheese will make it a cheeseburger. I didn't order a cheeseburger. I ordered a hamburger. That means no cheese." I was a little snarky. I didn't like being called out as a cheapskate who was unwilling to part with his 3 pesos.

But what happened next was trully unexpected. The girl literally cried. And then gave this heartfelt speech of how we UP students are all full of ourselves. That just because she wasn't a UP student makes her dumb. That in fact she was also a student, and inspite of having to work at that job, she was on top of her class.

I was taken aback. She misread my statement. I didn't mean that to be a personal attack on her intelligence. I knew she was MADE to ask that darned automatic question. She was just a cog, part of the evil machine, and she was unaware of it. Hate had blurred my vision and I had just shot a footsoldier. Much as I abhorred the evil machinations of the imperialist burger industry, there was simply no reason for me to shoot at a mere pawn -- unaware of the bigger picture of how these evil burger carts are there precisely to keep the student population blissfully unaware of the bigger picture themselves.

But it was too little too late. Too late to apologize. Finally, I just decided to order my burger to go.



Sunday, June 5, 2011

Loose change


It was my first job and I wasn't making much. It would have been a lot, actually,  if I was single and without responsibilities, as most people are at that age. But no, I was single, yes, but I had responsibilities.

Parents were both retired. And my younger sister was just starting her AB Political Science course in UP Manila. And it was up to me to fill in the gaps. It wasn't that bad. We had a house, and in fact, had some income (aside from my meager salary) coming in from an apartment we were renting out. But still, money was really tight. So much so that mom had to literally laugh out loud when she found out from the news that the daily budget for food for a New Bilibid prisoner was in fact 2 pesos more than ours. And they were complaining! The nerve.

One night, coming home after two weeks of working on an out of town assignment, I pulled out my wallet to give my salary to my mom. After I'd given the budget for the house, all I had left was 500 pesos and change.  Mom saw me counting the loose change in my pocket and felt sorry for me. I was not. Hell no. I just spent two weeks in the best hotels signing for room service and everything else, I explained. I had a pretty girlfriend who understands I can't be spending much on dates and friends who buys me beer.

Finally, I told my mom, "I have 500 pesos in my wallet and I am ok. In fact, I'm happy. You know what,  I am glad I am not Don Jaime Zobel. He'd probably shoot himself if he had just 500 pesos left."

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Fashion sensible


I am not really a fashion expert. My sense of style is mostly limited to sensible. Fact is, I can not tell the difference between a Prada and a Gucci, and I really don't care. But there is something to be said about "sensible". Just look around you.


The following list is a guideline of sorts for the fashion victims.

1. Clothes were invented to protect us from the elements and to cover our private parts. Fashion, on the other hand, was invented to accentuate our assets and to hide our flaws. This in mind, remember that if you think you might require a second bra around your waist, please do not wear a tube-top, or a half-shirt. And for the love of God please don't reveal too much skin when you have bad skin.

2. The Justin Bieber hairstyle doesn't really work. Not even for Justin Bieber. He is famous in spite of the bad  haircut. Take note Manny Pacquiao.

3. Ladies, formal business attire does not include dresses that one might wear to the prom. Seriously, I had to send someone home and change because of this.

4. General rule: clothes that shine, shimmer, or sparkle are evening clothes. Evening clothes are not to be worn during the day. Redundant you say? No, I had to write that second sentence as some people just do not get it.

5. Men, unless you are at the gym, muscle t-shirts are GAY. And ladies, going to the mall is not an occassion to wear your cute aerobics outfit.

6. Dress for the occassion. Do not wear gladiator shoes to the wet market. Do not wear heels to the beach. I don't care how expensive your basketball shoes are, they are not formal wear. Bowling shoes are for bowling.

7. Dress your age. Micro-minis do not really work for women over 40. I don't care how good you think your legs are. While men over thirty should stop trying to look they are in a boy band.

8. If you have to keep tugging on your skirt to keep it low, it is too short. I can't blame you though if that is your uniform.

9. Dress comfortably. It defeats the purpose if you have to keep fidgeting to carry that cute outfit. And there is no point in sweating like a pig in order to look cool in that jacket.

10. Fashion sense rarely translates well when imported from overseas. What looks cute in Tokyo will make you look like a Japayuki in Manila. And no, we don't have winter here, so don't wear winter clothes.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I dislike you


I guess today I can declare my youtube video upload (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2H0fS1zdoQ) finally "official". Got my first dislike today. Who dislikes a perfectly benign video? I only dislike youtube videos when they are labeled wrong, spamming, racist, hateful, etc. I do not even dislike the amateurs who do covers of my favorite songs. I pretend I am an American Idol judge and give them constructive criticisms in the comments section is all I do. Oh well...

2,675 views, 11 likes, and 1 dislike. I can live with that.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Not so great expectations


As expected, after a year or so in office, it can now be said that this is a mediocre presidency. Which is all well and good. You read that right, it is all well and good. That is as much as I expect from government. To at least temper greed and corruption. To at least not be so incompetent. To at least not have scandal after scandal on the news. That the constant news hounding this president is the identity of his latest date, which is actually non-news, is really good news.

Maybe it is because I never expected government to solve my problems. To find me a job. To feed me. To provide each and every solution to my day to day struggles. My expectations is for government to get out of the way of business. To let business thrive on it's own, without being hampered by red tape and corruption. That is the least that government can do. And I believe this government is on its way.

There will be no great accomplishments. But no great scandals, either.

Remember that there was never really a great prime minister nor a great chancellor of Japan and Germany, respectively, that led them out from the devastation of World War 2. It was Sony, Toyota, BMW, Mercedes, etc. It was private citizens doing honest labor in the private sector that lifted those two nations to greatness once again.

It is not up to PNoy to lift this nation out of poverty. It is all up to you -- PINOY.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Magka-alaman na


Ugaling Pinoy, ayaw ng away.

Lalo na kung ito ay mga tao o institusyon na dapat (daw) ginagalang. Salaula, bastos, walang modo, yan ang mga tawag sa mga taong hindi marunong gumalang, ayon na rin sa ating kultura. Magandang ugali sa kabuuan. Pero hindi sa lahat nga pagkakataon. Paano na lang kung talagang mali ang institusyong dapat igalang? Hindi ba dapat, paminsan-minsan dapat rin silang kontrahin? Debatihin?

Father, mawalang galang na po, pero hindi ako sang ayon na hindi dapat turuan ng reproductive health ang mamamayan. Hindi ko sinasabi na wala kayong karapatang ihayag ang utos ng Diyos (ayon sa inyong paningin) sa inyong mga taga-sunod, ngunit, responsibilidad ng gobyerno na bigyan ng tamang edukasyon ang ating mga mamamayan sa paraang siyentipikong family planning.

Sila, sa huli, ang mga mamamayan mismo, ang pipili. Walang pilitan. Sila ang magdedesiyon ayon sa kanilang konsensya, at hindi dahil sila ay mga mangmang na hindi alam kung ano ang alternatibo.

Kaya sige, ihayag ninyo ang inyong position. Ihahayag naman namin ang amin. Magdebate. Magtalo-talo. At ng sa ganun magka-alaman na.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

End of the world


I didn't catch it in the news, but apparently the world ended a few hours ago. So how was it for all you?

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Thou shall not lie


The Church is shooting themselves in the foot by employing a Machiavellian tactic in their fight against the RH Bill. The RH Bill is not about abortion, it says so right there in the bill itself. The RH Bill is about educating the masses and giving them the tools to make an informed decision on which contraception to employ -- not force them to use any contraception, mind you, but just give them the education to make an informed decision. Why the big lie?

I would, honestly, give the Church's argument serious consideration, if only they would not be so desperate and employ a strawman fallacy argument, and employ it so poorly. I've stopped listening to them entirely. Really? You all think this is still the 16th century and people can not think for themselves? If there is any logic to your position, why not stand on those legs and present that to the people? Talk to me. Present me your position. But please, do not lie to me.

I am not an expert on the bible, I would never debate with a priest of what is and what isn't written in the bible. But I believe, somewhere in there, it says that "the truth shall set us free".

Be careful what you wish for


You might just get it.  Remember that, Juan Manuel Marquez. You wanted this third fight with Manny. You chased after it. Now you are going to get it.

But in fairness to the Mexican great, you know this is going to be an exciting fight. Not a Joshua Clottey or a Sugar Shane Mosley farce. So, let's get ready to rumble!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

That was the main event?


Shane on you Sugar for that Mosely disappointing fight. Somebody hold the man's paycheck! He auditioned for "Dancing with the Stars" and didn't come to fight. Give everyone a refund. I want my 3 hours back.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Unarmed


I don't understand all the fuss with the little detail of Osama Bin Laden being unarmed when he was shot and killed by US Navy seals. What's the big deal?

This reminds me of my favorite scene in the best, I believe, Western movie ever made, "Unforgiven". An Oscar winning directorial effort by Clint Eastwood, who also played the main character, William Munny.

I will not go into the other details of the movie. This is not a movie review. Just one scene; William Munny (Clint Eastwood), just found out that his best friend,  Ned (Morgan Freeman) was killed by the town sheriff (Gene Hackman) and his deputies. William Munny, the meanest, most vile murderer the West had seen, was out for revenge and sought the men who had killed his friend -- alone. He found himself outside the town saloon, looking at the corpse of Ned leaning inside an upright coffin and with a sign that read, "this is what happens to assassins around here". Inside the saloon, the town sheriff was organizing a posse to track down William Munny. They needn't look far, as William nonchalantly comes in through the front door with a double barrel shotgun at the ready.

"Who's the fellow that owns this shithole?" William matter-of-factly asks. The supposed posse of around 20 men were all surprised. No one dared move. No one even dared speak. William had to repeat the question before the owner of the saloon finally answered, "I do, I own this place". William asked the others to move out of the way then, without fanfare or uttering another word, shot the saloon owner dead.

"You just shot an unarmed man!", finally, the town sheriff protested.

"Well...", in a raspy deliberate tone as only Clint Eastwood can deliver a line, "he should have armed himself, if he was going to decorate his saloon with my friend."

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Smart sucks


Just when I thought I had found gold with Smart phone and web services when my Smart Bro finally allowed me to play tournaments in Zynga poker (just two weeks ago), now comes this, I can not register for their Unli services. Not just that, I can not get balance inquiry on my phone (since last night). I can not reload my Smart Money from my BPI account. In other words, Smart sucks! And it is sucking my load at the ridiculous rate of 10 pesos per 30 minutes. And oh, it sucked my girlfriend's unli phone load for 2 days -- frustrated she has now switched to Talk and Text.

I tried filing a complaint on their website, you know what happened? ERROR message! What's up Smart? The least you can do is inform your customers if you are experiencing technical difficulties and promise to reimburse us for all that lost load. That is, if you are smart. Which I doubt.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Me and the Pope Mobile



That's me in the foreground, a little drunk in a town fiesta I invaded last weekend, trying to fake a picture of me getting on board the Pope Mobile. Angle wasn't quite right, and we didn't have the time to make several attempts. That is as good as it gets. :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

Good riddance


Just about now, one Osama Bin Laden is finding out that no 72 virgins await him in the after-life. Yay!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Fine distinction


Lust is when you want to be with somebody because that will make you happy. Love is when you want to be with someone because you want to make that someone happy.

Monday, April 25, 2011

All that remains


Photo borrowed from this Facebook group co-owned by two pumpkins.

Spent the holy week break re-uniting with (the mother-side of my) family. Of course, that means, going home to our roots in Tingloy, Batangas (as told in this story). Photo above is all that remains of the Malaking Bahay. Our family no longer owns it, and is mostly abandoned.

One footnote that should have been included in my story about my lolo Irineo is this little bit of trivia that I just learned. Oh yes, my family, now realizing that I am the "chronicler" of our family, kept on feeding me stories that they now want immortalized. Haha!

When asked by then Philippine President Manuel Luis Quezon, "Senor Martinez, kailan ang piyesta ng Tingloy?", my lolo, always quick on his feet, replied, "Whenever the president comes." Now you know where my quick wit comes from.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Vacation mode


Will be spending the Holy Week break here.

For a related story of the place, why I spend summer vacations there, check this link.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Apology not accepted


Memo to TV5:

A sincere apology begins with an admission of fault. Followed by a promise to not commit the same mistake again. And finally, an offer to make amends for any injury caused by that mistake.

A sincere apology is NOT releasing a press statement that, we are sorry. Then followed by, but we did nothing wrong. In fact, we are going on with the show.

So, no, apology is NOT accepted. You are NOT forgiven.

So yeah, I am boycotting TV5. And I was a big fan of "Talentadong Pinoy", which I believe is a very good show. Ryan Agoncillo is one classy host. I'm sorry Ryan. But your network chose to lie with the wrong dog.

-------------------


A little footnote: I once worked for a TV show that was co-produced by (then) ABC-5. 

Alrightee then


TV5, according to news reports, is keeping Willie. Alrightee then. And I am willing to not watch TV5 until they permanently ban that "entertainer". In fact, I am  boycotting all products that continue to advertise on the third-rate station. I'm sure I can find a list somewhere on the internet without having to actually watch TV5 to find out who advertises on the station.

Will now delete the channel from the memory of my TV.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Kunsabagay



Skip to :53 to listen to Cristin Fermin's statement.

"Karangalang pa ang mabastos (kung si Willie Revillame o Rico J. Puno gumawa)". Before you go on bashing Cristy Fermin, please try to understand, I mean look at her. With a face like that, but of course, karangalan pa niya ang mabastos nino man. Come on people, a little empathy please. Some of us are just that desperate for attention that they'll take that attention in whatever form it comes!

Sige Cristy, if ever I bump into you, pararangalan kita.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Of Willie supporters and drug mules


Engaged in internet "discussions" against Willie supporters and I am reminded of this gag shirt that reads "I am with stupid". If you are a Willie supporter however, the shirt should read "I am stupid".  And you won't believe how many people proudly wears that shirt! I mean, if you actually believe that Willie is doing that show primarily because he wants to help the poor, then I have a job for you, deliver a suitcase of cellphone parts to China and I am willing to pay 5K USD per trip.

Use your brains people. Stupidity kills. "Willing Willie" is not "Kapwa ko Mahal Ko". Seriously.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Angry birds


If I've not been updating this blog, or doing much of anything else productive lately (lol) it is because I've recently become addicted to another useless waste of time activity. So, I am either doing that, or engaged in internet fights against those who support Willie Revillame (in the anti-Willie Revillame Facebook page).

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sobering thoughts


Japan was dealt a triple whammy just recently. An 8.9 magnitude earthquake, followed by a tsunami, now a nuclear meltdown. It is the worst disaster Japan has suffered since world war 2. But think about this for a minute, in 5 years time, who'd be better off,  the Philippines or Japan?

------------

Jollibee Foods Corporation, owner of Mang Inasal has pulled out of Willing Willie, and from all indications, that sanamagan Willie will be gone from TV forever and soon. But guess what? Come 2016, that fucker decides to run for a senate seat and he is a sure winner.

------------

What does this say about us?


Monday, April 4, 2011

Hooray Jollibee!


Jollibee Food Corp, owner of Mang Inasal (among others) has just suspended their ad placements on Willing Willie! Yey. Tara na, kain na sa Jollibee at Mang Inasal!

Here's their press release.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Viagra is 15


Pfizer's performance enhancing drug, Viagra, recently turned 15 years old. It was of course, a Filipino-American employee who gave that pill it's appropriate name.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Boycott TV5


Because I do not watch that despicable show by that despicable excuse for a mammal, I only found out about it when I read in the Inquirer that the CHR is studying the possibility of filing child abuse charges against Willie Revillame for making a boy dance ala macho dancer. You can hear in the background Willie laughing like a demon while the boy cries and is obviously distressed. How low can you go? The video is so disturbing I do not even want to post a link here. Go look for it in youtube if you must.

Boycott TV5 and all advertisers that promote their products in TV5 until they fire this animal. And please, pass along this message. And if ever you happen to see Willie in person, give him the middle finger salute. I will. Trust me I will.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Facebook friend


I have a Facebook friend from South Africa. Apparently, Facebook thinks that dear friend needs to get more Facebook friends and has solicited my help. Well, Facebook, I really can't help until you first fix one little thing. Dear friend is a "her" not a "him". I think that's the problem right there.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Viral video




Do you want to create your own viral video? Guaranteed a million hits within a week. 

Follow these instructions carefully. Pre-load the two youtube videos I've posted here (by clicking play then quickly pausing and waiting for the red line to reach the end). Scroll the window up so that only the bottom control panel of the upper (first) video appears on your computer screen. Press play the second video, then press play the first video. There you have it, that is your viral video. Just give it the necessary labels and you are guaranteed an instant youtube sensation (for all the wrong reasons). Either this or upload a video of yourself throwing kittens in the river.

Oh, I hope none of you dear readers are desperate enough to actually do this. And hey, I'll delete this post if this offends anyone. Just one comment from an offended person and this entry is gone. 


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

No blog update today


Sorry honorable dear readers, I have decided to exercise my right against self-incrimination.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Got to catch the plane at 7:30


There is this one song that, for lack of a better way to describe it, makes me want to shoot myself in the head whenever I hear it. That's Robby Rosa's (of the Menudo -- you know the Puerto Rican former bandmate of a young not yet gay Ricky Martin) "If you're not here by my side". And no, don't even think for a second that it is because I feel empathy for the song. Au contraire my dear readers, it is for the exact opposite reason. Whenever I hear that song, it is so bad, and I can't believe it became so popular then it was played over and over again, that I lose a pint of will to live. Kill me now! Run me over with a bus, just make that darned song stop.

I was reminded of that feeling when our next door neighbor (in our work living quarters) played the song so loud and proud that I nearly lost it and almost committed the first ever if-you're-not-here-by-my-side-homicide. I was waiting for dear neighbor to sing along, that would have definitely pushed me over the edge. But alas, the song ended with nary a hum from next door. Not even during the chorus. He doesn't realize how fortunate he was -- I was readying our kitchen knives...

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DISCLAIMER: For the young kiddies who follow my blog, whenever I post something like this, it is supposed to be funny. It is an exaggeration. I am not insane. I will not hurt anyone over something so trivial.  

Thursday, March 10, 2011

And these I hold to be true


-  Live life with no regrets, never pass up on an opportunity to pee.

- You have to get up pretty early in the morning to enjoy a sunrise.

- Wherever you are, there you are.

- Ninety percent of the time, the line for women to the entrance of any SM mall is longer than the line for men.

- An atm machine is four times more likely to be offline when it is salary day compared to any other regular day.

- People are 80% more likely to believe what you say when you give out a percentage -- even if it is totally made up.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Mark's new dog


Facebook founder and owner Mark Zuckerberg has a new dog. And the beast has it's own facebook account. Yeah, I had to go check it out. Coolest update is how the dog took a dump and made the 26-year-old billionare  pick it up.

Then of course, I had to go check Mark's own facebook profile. And bored, decided to report him. Just can't decide what to file against him. I am thinking "impersonating". What do you all think?



Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Announcement


I am doing a little project with/for Chris "Bizman" Villarin. All conspirators, preferably those who are MTC members too, and who are interested in helping out, please email me (oh look for my email addy somewhere at the bottom of the blog). I promise you, HINDI kayo yayaman sa project na ito.

Monday, March 7, 2011

I win!


Been following the Charlie Sheen melodrama on TV and on the web. Apparently, he's been winning. But winning what? Duh...

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Thanks to Noz, and the others who shared my youtube link, my video is now the number one search result on youtube if you search with the keywords "typo animated lyrics" and on page one if you just use the keywords "typo animation". I win!

And oh, I need 10,000 views on that to do another one. It takes some effort to make one, you know. If noone is going to view it (and I am not even making money out of it), what's the point?

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And oh, sorry Germany, you still can't see the video due to copyright issues. Yeah, I get pageviews from Germany, almost 200 this week. I don't know why youtube forbids you to view the Eraserheads! Maybe Germans aren't allowed to shake theyr heads? lol.


Saturday, March 5, 2011

Sustagen


Took Sustagen's Body Age Challenge. Turns out, I'm 165 years old. Somebody please contact Guinness.

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By the way, how many of you all think Moammar Khaddafy should start dating Merceditas Gutierrez? Parang bagay na bagay sila 'no?



Monday, February 28, 2011

Monday blues


So it's Monday salary day. As usual, being the paycheck to paycheck guy that I am, I really needed to withdraw money from the atm. BPI has three atms at SM Fairview (close to my apartment). But of course, being the uber-efficient banking people that they are, when it is salary day, 2 out of the 3 will be off-line. 33.33% batting average is MVP performance, if you are a batter in the Major League, not when you are a bank.

So ok, the line on the lone working atm was 30-people long. I measured the time of the first person withdrawing to around one minute. Perfect. In this day and age of instant messaging, instant noodles, and one-night-stands, I need to stand in line for half-an-hour or more to get my money. Which is exactly how I want to waste 30 minutes of my life away.

Fifteen minutes, and my calculations is coming to bear. I am halfway there. Progress.

Ten or so more minutes and the line is now just 5 people long. I can hardly contain my excitement. I am nearly there.

But like in the movies,  life is never that perfect, some old fart with badly dyed hair (or maybe a toupee?) cuts the line in front of the guy I'm immediately following, claiming he was there in line and just needed to pee or something. What the fuck? I didn't see him in line at all  for all the time I was gritting my teeth waiting my turn at that darned lone working atm machine. Liar.

But the kid in front of me was just too polite to complain and allowed the old fart to cut the line. There's a special place in hell for these old fuckers. I have to believe that. It's the only thing keeping me from committing (justified) homicide.

And to further lighten my already super bright mood, the old lady now next up for bat, goes to the atm and spends what seemed like an eternity looking inside her purse for her atm card. What? She couldn't have done that all this time she was waiting in line? I had my atm card out as far back 15 people ago.

A special place in hell, I hafta believe that there is hell.


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Oh yeah, I did eventually get to withdraw my money. It was anti-climactic, and didn't want to end my post there. :)

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Party Pilipinas


Turned on the TV this lazy Sunday afternoon, channel surfed around a bit and found Party Pilipinas on GMA-7. I caught the show at the point where a shot of hot chick, her back turned to the camera, takes off her bikini top and tosses it. Today's theme? The Strip Show. Yeah, that's what on TV this Sabbath Day. A strip show delivered to your living room on a Sunday afternoon. Congratulations GMA, you've raised the bar once again.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Germany can't shake theyr heads


I uploaded on youtube my first experiment in typo-kinetic animation. Check the bottom of the page here. It's my favorite song from my favorite band, the Eraserheads. Funny thing is, I was afraid my video was going to get blocked here in the Philippines by reason of copyright infringement. But according to youtube...


Great. That means my German friends/fans will not get to shake theyr heads now.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Congratulations Nonito!


Congratulations to the Philippines' boxing hero Nonito "the Filipino Flash" Donaire -- for finally getting the ringside announcer to pronounce his name right. It's DO-NAY-RE, and not DO-NEYR. Oh yeah, that too, that second round knockout against Mexico's Fernando Montiel was simply brilliant.

Finally, Dyan, landing one good punch (in the first round) is NOT dominating your opponent. Thank you Ronnie Nathanielsz for correcting her. But hey, I am  just too happy right now for that to irritate me. So let me congratulate you too Dyan Castillejo for not mentioning the name "Oscar dela Hoya" in that championship fight. Maybe the fight was just too short? But hey, whatever, you got through one championship boxing match without mentioning his name and deserves kudos for that accomplishment.
 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Two suicides


A university graduate, unable to find a job commensurate to his education, was forced to sell fruits from a cart to make a living. But the powers that be decided that that was illegal. And so his fruit cart, his only means of livelihood, was confiscated. In protest, the man doused himself with gasoline and lit himself on fire. It was a fire that not only killed that poor soul -- but also ignited an entire nation to rise in revolt against the oppressive powers that be. Within a few weeks, Tunisia had a new leader. And inspired, Egypt would also rise in revolt against their own oppressive leader. One man, one suicide, may well be the one act that will forever change the face of that part of the world.

At home, a man accused of amassing wealth not commensurate to his salary was greatly embarrassed. He was shown the flight records of his wife during his tenure as AFP Chief, properties acquired in the US, etc. He was given every opportunity to explain himself. Instead, he decides to shoot himself in the chest.


I leave it to you dear readers to make the comparison.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

It cuts both ways


The SWS (or was it Pulse Asia?) recently conducted a survey. Which would Filipinos rather have, a good looking partner or a rich partner? It is the usual near V-day stunt you half expect from a survey body that seeks to keep their brand name in the news. And GMA 7 obliged.

The survey was close. Nearly 50-50. But the "rich" won by a hair -- within the survey's margin of error or darned close to it. Of course, GMA 7 would rather sell that as "Filipinos now prefer money over looks".  And Mike Enriquez sold that before the end of each gap until the news segment was actually aired. You know how tabloid news programs keeps us viewers hooked with stingers like "shark attack in Boracay," only to be disappointed that in the actual news segment we see that it is a 6-inch baby shark that bit the the toe (and not even a severe wound) of a tourist.

But I am not even disappointed with that as I've consciously set the bar low. But even with lowered expectations, still I was disappointed that the survey did not ask this follow-up question I was dying to ask as I listened to the man-on-the-street interviews of Mark Sembrano to support the segment. "How would you like to be judged by a potential partner? By your looks or by your finances?"

I think I read somewhere that however you measure others, you shall be measured. Happy V-Day people!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Large file transfer


Do you need to transfer large files over the internet? The 25 MB max limit in Gmail not enough for you? Then get yourself a Dropbox account (by clicking on this link). Absolutely FREE accounts gives you 2 Gigs of hard disk space in cyberspace. Even with my (sometimes slow) Smart Broadband, I was able to transfer 856 MB of files in about 2 hours (upload  on my side and download on the client side). It's so easy to use. 10 minutes learning curve (just read the instructions).

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Spineless


So, was Gen. Angelo Reyes a hero or a heel? You would never know if you just read or watch the local news.

Just 2 days ago, before General Reyes shot and killed himself, he was portrayed as public enemy number one. Go ahead and find yourselves a copy of the Inquirer from a week ago. So, what happened since then? Oh, yeah, he shot himself. And that absolves him of all his sins? Before the death penalty was revoked, plunder was a crime punishable by death, and rightly so.

And as far as I am concerned, a plunderer that decides to kill himself becomes not a saint but nothing more than a dead plunderer. People died in the battlefield because of poor equipment. Remember the defective mortar rounds and fake kevlar helmets? Those foot-soldiers were real people too. People died and continue to die in exploding buses and other terrorists attacks because intelligence funds were being used by the generals' wives (and other wives) to vacation in the USA, according to your news reports. So what now media? Plunderer or not?

Just report the facts please. If you still know how to do that. Stop all this beatification nonsense you are all trying to do right now. Stick to your guns and show some spine.


Saturday, February 5, 2011

Second DDOS attack on MTC


Receiving this breaking news via sms from the Bizman himself, "MTC is again under DDOS attack!"  This is the second time in a week and after MTC was forced to migrate to a new server. It is not even 48 hours since MTC has been restored online that this second vicious attack happened. Apparently, the Bizman is sending me the sms as he is buying groceries where he further reports that onions are now 200 Php per kilo! If this does not connect the two incidents to one culprit, the mafia, I don't know what will.

Conspirators please be on the lookout for anyone who stammers and has onion breath. Please report any and all sightings to this blog.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Chabeng


Remember my entry from last year "So long lives this"? I was doing some surfing on the web when I found this link.  Ms. Isabel Martinez, the author below, was my beloved Mama Chabeng.


HISTORICAL SKETCH OF TINGLOYDec 26, '10 1:11 AM
for everyone
Written by:
MISS ISABEL A. MARTINEZ
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER

This is first published on TINGLOY TOWN FIESTA SOUVENIR PROGRAM of 16-18 August 1979.

Just off the southwest coast of the Batangas mainland, about two nautical miles away, lies the radish-shaped Island of Maricaban.  People by no less than 13,000 inhabitants, the Maricaban Island has a territorial expansion of about 14 square miles of rugged hills and sloping mountains with the occasional splatterings of lowland plains and a liberal springklings of valleys.  The coastal perimeter of the Island with green trees and clinging vines and sudden drops of stony mountains slopes is a real treat to the eyes.  Spread all over the Island are barrios of Sto. Tomas, Talahib, San Pedro, Gamao, Pisa, Corona, San Isidro, Papaya, San Juan, Macawayan, Maricaban, San Jose and Tingloy, the latest to become later the seat of government of the Municipality of Tingloy.

The name "Tingloy" was according to legend, derived from a plant of almost the same name.  Strangely enough, nowhere in the whole Island could one find now in abundance the plant called "tinghoy".

The first people to inhabit the Island almost a century age today came from Taal and Bauan presumably to escape the brutalities perpetrated by the Spanish "conquistadores".  They came in family groups and finding the place a real haven, settled down in definite areas later to prove themselves to be the nuclei of the various barrios now comprising the created political subdivision.  It is said that the former barrio of Tingloy was founded by Jose Martinez, a TaaleƱo.

At several times the Island underwent a series of political alliance.  At first it was a part of the Municipality of San Luis.  Later on in 1917, it was placed under the administration of Bauan only to be severed therefrom and cradled by the then newly created municipality of Mabini in 1918.  This last mentioned alliance was effected due, perhaps, to geographical position.  This arrangement, however, did not last long, for not long afterwards - in 1921 - it swayed back to Bauan until the birth of its municipal independence.

Inspite of the seemingly insurmountable odds caused by geological aspect of the Island, the standard of living of the Islanders have been maintained on the average level.  This fact have been largely do to the inhabitants unquestionable ability to make use of any and all available resources inherent to mother earth or otherwise.  To prove this point, the principal occupation before were "bayong" and mat weaving, farming, and livestock raising.  Years later and until now the people has taken to more lucrative enterprises like fishing, shipping, and business.  Because of the flourishing shipping industry and adventuresome traits of the Islanders often boarding defiance of imminent danger, they lived throughout the Japanese occupation in abundance and plenty.

During the Spanish regime people were educated at home learning to read the "Cartillas" and the "Caton" "Christiana".  When the Americans came, schools were established.  Mr. Ireneo Martinez together with Mr. Flaviano Gamben, now both deceased, initiated a movement for a model schoolhouse for the former barrio of Tingloy.  This movement was crowned with the success when a model schoolhouse was constructed in the present poblacion of the Municipality of Tingloy sometime in 1921.  With the establishment of the schoolhouse, more school children were able to enroll.  This naturally resulted in amass education not only for the inhabitants of Tingloy proper but also for the entire inhabitants of the Maricaban Island.

For so many years the people tried their level best to advance and progress along the different phases of living until, finally becoming politically minded, they thought it best to stand on their own.  They begun to manifest this lefty desire since May of the year 1948 in a petition addressed to the President of the Philippines through the Provincial Board of Batangas.  Unfortunately, it took them seven years to realize this one great obsession, happily realized they did.  During the second Regular Session of the third Congress of the Republic of the Philippines, Republic Act No. 1344 (House Bill No. 11), creating the Municipality of Tingloy was, approved.  House Bill No. 11 was fathered by the Hon. Numeriano U. Babao, Congressman for the Second District of Batangas.  His Excellency President Ramon Magsaysay, on June 17, 1955, the President of the Republic of the Philippines, appointed the first Municipal Officials headed by Atty. Ramon De Claro as Mayor thus ushering in a new era of political independence to the happiness and joy that ever flow to the hearts of the people.  At long last, the Municipality of Tingloy begun to align itself the hundreds of political entities all created and all existing to the best interest of their constituents.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

MTC is under attack!


chrisvillarin said...
MTC is under DDOS attack. At the moment the domain is pointed to google when you type in MTC. it redirects to FB when typing www.mtc

I found this comment on the "Thank you ManilaTonght" entry. Apparently, the Mafia has struck back at MTC for its support to this blog. This means WAR! Arm yourselves conspirators. We are going to the mattresses (whatever that means). 


Friday, January 28, 2011

Of liars and exploding buses


I am a fan of  "Lie to me", a TV series about a fictional character whose expertise is in detecting the subtle body language of someone who is lying. If you've caught an episode or two, you can not help but cringe when you see the video footage of former AFP Chief of Staff Angelo Reyes making a motion to scratch his nose (to cover his mouth) as he responded to Sen. Jinggoy Estrada's question about the "pabaon" system in the AFP.

Fifty million and no one caught on. It is mind boggling, for most of us who live paycheck to paycheck anyway, how one can misappropriate that amount without being detected. But you see, the AFP has intelligence funds coming out of its nose, not subject to COA regulations. Fifty million is nothing. No one can know. And that is a loophole in the law that men, who wore stars on their shoulders, all know.

But siphon enough money from the intelligence funds for "pabaons", trips abroad with the missus, etc. and you've got military intelligence that can not even hope to detect the simplest of terrorist plots.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

That light at the end of the tunnel is a train


What's going on? Just when we thought we can all finally breathe a collective sigh of relief that at least one carnap gang has been neutralized, a bus explodes right in the heart of Makati, apparently the handiwork of terrorists. We were all caught mid-sigh, I guess.

When will it ever end? Unlike the movies, where we can cheat and see that only 15 minutes remain, there is nothing to indicate that the hero will eventually vanquish the bad guys in the final climax scene -- and that we will ever be in the clear.

Much as I want to, much as I hope that there was, we can not really send out the bat signal to anyone. We are all alone in this one. Memories of the PNP SWAT team storming that ill-fated bus are burnt deep into our brains.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

From Yahoo!



full story here
Now trending on Yahoo!: Todd Palin reqruented a massage therapist now busted for "prostitution"
I guess Sarah Palin's husband loves to have "sex" with "prostitutes" that he reqruented one particular massage therapist.

In other news, tabloid reporter was much too excited with a scoop to bother with correct spelling and syntax. Not even bothering with a period at the end of the sentence.

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Update: Since posting this, I've gotten a few hits courtesy of the keyword "reqruented". I suspect they read the very same article that was trending on the Yahoo main page.  Don't worry guys, your eyes are not deceiving you. The word does not exist.

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For the few of you who know me in real life, my dear kamag-anak inc., and friends from my Facebook account, please know that while I blog mostly about my life and my posts are made in the first person point of view, I do, from time to time, exercise literary license. Yes, I lie! Lol. No. Some of the stories depicted here are fiction. That I do not tell which is which, makes it a little more fun, doesn't it?

No animals were harmed in the production of this blog. Parental guidance is advised. And no approved therapeutic claims. Hindi ito gamot.

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Mungo Conspiracy would like to thank:

Kuya Bing for all the support without which I would not have been able to start this blog. My baby sister Charo, who has always been my number one fan. Gie for twisting Kuya Bing's arms to lend me support. Rocky for being the first follower. Chris for the free ad space on MTC.

I would also like to mention Kuya Jong and Kuya Rolly, Rex, Kim, and all of my pumpkins, Dustin, Innah, Jonas, Danwell, Glea, Jiro, Ram, Yzab, Hannah, and Annika, who are my inspirations for many of my stories here.

And thanks to the Iligan Chapter of the conspirators who were the first to fill-up my followers' box! :)

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email : mungoconspiracy@gmail.com