Thursday, November 21, 2013

Raising my kikay


All my baby wants for Christmas is her two front teeth.

My daughter, all of ten months, has recently discovered the concept of mirrors. First word she's ever learned is "hi". And she says that to herself  in the most kikay way imaginable. God help me.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Push back


Push texts are illegal -- that is text promos should not be sent to your phone, says so the NTC. But because the NTC is useless, we have to push back ourselves.

Whenever Smart (or Globe) sends you a push text, make it cost them. How? Call their free toll help line. Clog those lines a bit. I made one such call this afternoon after I received the third push text of the day from Smart. I got to a Smart tech support. I told him that their push text woke my baby up (true, not even made up). I told him that push texts are ILLEGAL, so why are they continuing with this practice? Is Smart a criminal enterprise that they would brazenly continue committing illegal acts? Yeah, I talked to that guy for around 10 minutes. It is not a lot I know, but I resolve to do this every time I get sent a push text. And I am asking you to do the same. They push us, we push back. Make it COST them.


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UPDATE: Three days after making that call to the Smart help line, I have not received one push text from them. Is it possible? They have taken me off their list? Might be too soon to say, but that would be great!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Realization


I am the first man that my daughter, now all of 9 months old, will ever love. Whatever kind of man I am, will be the standard by which all other men shall be measured. Right here, right now, it is I, who decides the kind of man my daughter shall seek in her future husband.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Talong and short of it



If you are wondering why the RP space program is limited to joining contests of body spray companies, wonder no more. Apparently, the Court of Appeals has decided that Filipinos are not qualified to study and experiment with talong (story here).

Scientific guarantee. No such thing when the Americans decided to launch the Apollo missions. Astronauts could have died. This is a fact. Those mercury rockets? Those are basically fuel tanks. Picture those huge Petron tankers you see in the highway, now multiply that 10 fold. Stick an inverse funnel on its ass then light it. That's basically what a rocket is. Had that fallen into a major city, thousands could have died. Did that stop the Americans from being the first to land on the moon?

Well, we'll never get there. The CA do not even trust Filipino with talong. And our NDCC leaders are telling us to run for cover whenever North Korea decides to try to launch a rocket into space.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

And in breaking entertainment news


After the lackluster one night Manila performance by Rihanna, the young diva announced that she does not like adobo or any Filipino food for that matter.

What?! Declare that singer persona non grata!

But wait. This "news" is not really true.

Except from the way entertainment writers/reporters put an emphasis on that question you would think we would riot if  it were true. Just how thin-skinned do these entertainment news writers think we are? Why this obsession with adobo? Why ask "You like adobo?", each and every freaking time a foreign act would dare perform in the country?

Stop it! A plague! A plague on the house of the next lazy uninspired dumb-ass who asks the stupid question ... or a tsinelas to the face ... on both cheeks.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Wang wang


At sa daang matuwid ni PNoy, na akala ko ba'y katapusan na ng wang-wang, ito ang larawan mula sa inquirer.net.


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Pork Barrel


If anything, what the recent news tell me is that I am in the wrong business. But no worries. If nothing else, I can adapt to what present circumstances require. So I have decided to create my own NGO. And to protect myself from lawsuits, my NGO will have senators and congressmen as beneficiaries. No hypocrisy, right? Now give me some of that pork!

Friday, July 26, 2013

Please spare me the gory details, GMA


I was having dinner last night. And as usual, I had the news on. GMA's 24 Oras. A foolish habit I now think. Midway through the newscast, there was this report about a woman who murdered her own baby by burying her alive. Come on GMA, that is not even news! Gore is not news. That report has nothing to do with me nor 99.9999%. of the Filipino people. It affects her family. And maybe, in lesser degree, the immediate community. But to make it a national news item on prime time TV -- and you bring that to my dinner table?

Oil price hike, news. Gory details of how a madwoman murdered her child, not news. Aljur's latest love interest, not news. Stock market index, news. Marian Rivera's Valentine's plan with Dingdong, not news. Live blow by blow account of how the brother of  the hostage taker is being arrested, not news (not yet -- the public can wait). Shall I go on? Here's a hint, do I (the general public) really need to know that? Is there value in it? Would I be served if I knew that report? If the answer is no, then it is NOT news.

Remember the tsunami that struck Japan that killed a lot of people? How many dead bodies, blurred out or not, found it's way in any news item in either print or televised media? NONE. And that was legitimate news. Japanese media of course reported the NUMBER of casualties, but somehow they didn't find the need to parade the dead bodies for all the world to see.

Serbisyong totoo? What service are you speaking of? We bring to your dinner table, all the gory details of how a madwoman buried alive her own child, you mean this service? If you can not truly serve, at least be responsible. I'm trying to eat dinner here.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Squatting problem? Solved!


On an April 12 resolution, the KWF (Komisyon sa Wikang Filipino) has proposed the renaming of the Philippines to Filipinas. The drastic move is intended to solve the squatting problem in Metro Manila. By renaming our country to Filipinas the KWF also envisions that China will no longer be interested in the West Philippine sea, politicians will deliver on their campaign promises, street children will have good homes, poverty incidence will drop to near zero.

Why didn't I think of that? Good thing we have geniuses working in these commissions.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Vote Wisely



Sa darating na Lunes, ating tandaan, ang problema ng Pinas ay hindi politiko kung hindi ang botante. Si Nancy Binay, hindi magiging senadora dahil sa tatay nya kung hindi dahil sa mga botanteng bobo-to sa kanya. Isa lang ang boto ni Jejomar. Hindi niya kayang gawing senadora ang anak nya. The burden is on you, Pinoy. Stop blaming politicians. They are powerless. The power is with the people. Kaya bulok ang Pinas ay dahil maraming bobo-to sa mga tulad ni Nancy Binay.

Asan na pala si Wisely? Parang hindi na sya tumatakbo ah. Siguro suko na. Sa dinami daming beses nyang tumakbo ni minsan hindi naka tsamba. Wala akong nakitang tarpaulin na "Vote Wisely". Sayang, sya lang sana ang iboboto ko.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Intellectual discourse at 3 am


If I had not been updating this blog as much as I have in the past, it is  for no other reason than the recent drastic change in my status. From single to married father, all within one year. It is not so bad. Except that I don't get much sleep nowadays. My two-month-old baby girl insists she talk to her dad at 3 am -- notwithstanding that her vocabulary is still limited to what I can make out as "coo-coo".  She does this for about an hour starting around 3 am. She doesn't care about the time. She has to tell me all her "coo-coo" stories at the break of dawn. It is important to her. I can tell by the seriousness of her facial expression. Oh except when she breaks into the cutest smile.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The meaning of life


Finally, I cracked the code. I finally found the answer to the one question that has always been bugging my mind since I first seriously contemplated the meaning of life when I was fourteen. It came to me on the 21st minute of the 9th day of the 1st month on the 13th year of the 3rd millennium. There was nothing metaphysical about it. Suddenly, it was all very tangible and quite simple. The meaning of my life is this -- I was born to raise this child the Lord has given me.

Two weeks later, my baby is big enough to take a stroller ride with me.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Ban the gun


A not so happy new year to everyone for we are off to a bloody start. A 7-year-old dies in Caloocan, victim of celebratory new year's gun fire. Then not even 5 days later, an amok kills 8, wounding 9, in Cavite. The mindlessness of it all is enough for everyone and his uncle to cry "total gun ban!" I admit, I,  among them. But are we really? Do we really want a gunless society bad enough that we are willing to pay for it?

Because "total gun ban", the concept, if we are to make it a tangible reality is going to cost us. You didn't think it would, did you? You thought "total gun ban" only means the PNP enforcing the already strict laws on gun ownership. That it is a PNP problem, not mine. Oh I'm sorry to burst your bubble but it is not. These gun laws have been legislated for decades and yet still we live in a society where even a  street vendor who sells cigarettes by the stick is likely to be packing a sumpak.

If you are really for a "total gun ban", this is what it's going to cost you. A curtailment of some of your civil liberties. For the gun laws to have some teeth, you have to support warrantless searches in police checkpoints, more police checkpoints, etcetera. You get the idea.

You know what? I am desperate enough to want it. I have nothing to hide, let the police check my bags. Just please train these police to be polite and not abusive and I'm all for it.

So let me throw this out there, I am for a gunless society and I am willing to pay for it by supporting warrantless searches in police checkpoints.

So how about you? Do you want a gunless society bad enough?

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For the few of you who know me in real life, my dear kamag-anak inc., and friends from my Facebook account, please know that while I blog mostly about my life and my posts are made in the first person point of view, I do, from time to time, exercise literary license. Yes, I lie! Lol. No. Some of the stories depicted here are fiction. That I do not tell which is which, makes it a little more fun, doesn't it?

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Mungo Conspiracy would like to thank:

Kuya Bing for all the support without which I would not have been able to start this blog. My baby sister Charo, who has always been my number one fan. Gie for twisting Kuya Bing's arms to lend me support. Rocky for being the first follower. Chris for the free ad space on MTC.

I would also like to mention Kuya Jong and Kuya Rolly, Rex, Kim, and all of my pumpkins, Dustin, Innah, Jonas, Danwell, Glea, Jiro, Ram, Yzab, Hannah, and Annika, who are my inspirations for many of my stories here.

And thanks to the Iligan Chapter of the conspirators who were the first to fill-up my followers' box! :)

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email : mungoconspiracy@gmail.com