Thursday, December 30, 2010

Episode IV



Episode IV: A new hope, was how the Star Wars epic journey began. Not Episode I, which will come much later on, but Episode IV. And as the opening intro-credits rolled out into the infinite nothingness of space, the camera panned to an empire battle cruiser chasing after a small rebel ship. We are, without any warning, right smack in the middle of it.

The genius that George Lucas was, Star Wars was a recognition that life's real stories rarely begins neatly with a slow opening where the plot is set-up and the main characters introduced.

This is where we find ourselves entering a new decade, with renewed hope. For we have, by way of ballot, already done the hard part.

Daunting tasks still lay ahead of us, of course. The old empire still casts a mighty dark shadow and the war not yet won. And we can not, as the Jedi Master Yoda would put it, just try. For in real life, you do or you do not, there is no try.

Here's to new beginnings. To new hopes. To the new decade. Happy new year everyone!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Predictions


It's nearly that time of year again, so let me go ahead with my own predictions.

Both Unang Hirit and Umagang Kay Ganda, will have at least one new year episode with psychics doing their thing. How cliche can you get? I am hoping against hope that at least they would give it some twist. How about inviting back those who've made predictions for 2010 and scrutinize their accuracy? Or how about, just thinking out loud here, these supposed news programs get financial experts that can make predictions on the business prospects on the upcoming fiscal year? But that would be hoping for too much, I guess. Peddling stupidity is the current norm. And I predict more of the same stupidity for the coming year.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

15 minutes


Another "expert" noticed yet another "error" on the new peso bills. Whale sharks are not exclusive to the Philippines, so went his logic, and therefore should not be included in the peso bills. Huwaaaaat? How's that again? Where in the new 100 peso bill did we even lay claim that we owned the exclusive patent to Butandings?

Hmmm... volcanoes are not exclusive to the Philippines, get rid of that. People gathered together in a crowd, not our invention, get rid of it. And oh, we should tell Canada to change their flag since maple trees do not grow exclusively in Canada. We once had the coconut tree on our coin, that was a big mistake!

Who the duck are these people? They're all coming out of the woodwork all of the sudden it seems. All laying claim to their 15 minutes of fame. Well ok,  great. You got your names in print. Go clip that from your Inquirer, save it, and take it with you to your grave. Congratulations! You are now famous. Whoever the duck you are.

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Look, simple point I want to make, if you are going to protest something, or point out errors on something, make that something -- oh, I don't know, how about, SUBSTANTIAL. And it is not like we have a dearth of somethings to protest about. You've got the Supreme Court still protecting La Gloria and her family. The Ombudsman just gave that corrupt general a free pass. Etcetera, etcetera.  And you are worried that the Butanding is on the new 100 peso bill?

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Interesting footnote; when the Inquirer published the first "error" story on the new peso bills, my pageviews got almost 200 more than normal (because of my entry on the subject).  I am getting another boost from the Butanding "error" story. So thanks for the page hits, I guess, you sorry nitpicking losers.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Happy Valentines everyone


I don't know exactly how it works -- the governing rules, the rhyme or reason to it all. But tomorrow is a holiday by reason of Holiday Economics.

So happy Valentines Day everyone.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Namamasko po!

Merry Christmas...
happy new year!

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Overwhelmed by the last minute Noche Buena grocery shopping I've decided to take the supermarket owner's association's advise and do it earlier. Next time, I'll do the grocery shopping December 24 -- one year early.

Monday, December 20, 2010

More errors on the new peso bills found


image from here
Critics were furious as they continued to discover more errors on the new edition of the Philippine peso bills.

"I met Ninoy Aquino when he was still alive. He was not monochromatic. He was three dimensional and he was not that small!" cried one critic. How the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas have committed this oversight is simply outrageous. Surely they've seen video footages of Ninoy and Cory. And I am sure, even the long dead heroes are themselves not monochromatic and two dimensional.

How can we trust the banking system now when the Bangko Sentral apparently can not accurately depict known facts? While the long dead heroes are subject to debate, it is common knowledge that Ninoy and Cory were full-sized three dimensional non-monochromatic people. How could they have done this? And to think that they would commit this grievous error now when the son, Noynoy, is the president.

How things have changed simply because of a new president. Back in the day of Gloria, the BSP was accurate enough to have spelled her name right, "Arrovo".

Friday, December 17, 2010

Unforgiven


If not Hubert and company then who?

This is the question that's bugging the minds of all those old enough to remember the heinousness of it all. One nondescript family living their quiet middle-class lives slaughtered in one night of sheer madness. No rhyme. No reason. Just pure evil.

That mainstream media has forgotten how it was so, comforts no one. Least of all, the father, Lauro. For now the man found guilty beyond reasonable doubt by both the lower and appellate courts can buy new pants in a mall. And media will be there to cover it. It has become just another fluff story, relegated to the same category of Ding Dong professing his eternal love for Marian.

My heart bleeds, for justice has not been served. And apparently, will not be served. The Supreme Court has spoken. And that is the end of it. Crime and no punishment. Not from the Philippine courts, anyway.

There is still, however, the Most Supreme Court of all. The final Arbiter from Whom we can not lie. No more alibis. No more missing semen samples. No more destroyed evidences.

No one gets away with bloody murder. The universe will not allow it. And forgiveness is only for those who've made their acts of contrition.

We all have to believe this to be so.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

No tears for Katrina




Almost totally lost and ignored in the din of the recent Supreme Court decision to acquit Hubert Webb and company was the acquittal of Hayden Kho in the case filed against him by Katrina Halili.

Senator Bong Revilla was quick to comfort the fallen actress with the statement that all women suffered this injustice with Katrina Halili.

Hmmmm... really?  Maybe. But with some slight modification on that statement please Honorable Senator.

Let us not forget, she willingly went to bed with Hayden Kho -- whom she knew was then the boyfriend of her erstwhile BFF and sponsor, Vicki Belo. So she was the kabit. Please. This is an injustice shared by all of the kabits.

I saw the video, I am not going to deny it. She enjoyed it.

There is way too much injustice going on in the world right now. I have no tears for this martyr who's only sorry she got caught.

DESERVED.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Wikileaks: Update



A few days back I posted, tongue firmly in cheek, that one of the Wikileaks new revelations is that North Korea demanded that fresh episodes of "Friends" be aired. Well, the truth, apparently, is way stranger and funnier than fiction. Click on the link below.

North Korea campaigned for Eric Clapton performance, cable reveals 

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Please just stop


Remember how a few weeks back I blogged that I was getting a little pissed with Facebook for constantly asking me "what's on your mind?" Well I guess my good friend, Mark Zuckerberg, is a secret conspirator and reads my blog. I don't want to take full credit, but notice how Facebook has done away with the constant nagging. It's still out there somewhere, but no longer so in your face. Jejemons can still document every pathetic detail of their jejelives if they so choose.

So what's on my mind right now? Relieved. Thank you Mark.

Now, if only I can get that stupid 8070 lyric manalo promo to stop texting my Smart phone, life would be just perfect. Believe me, I never registered for the darned stupid promo and even naively tried the stop option which only made it worse. The friggin thing texts me twice a day now. Somebody do something and make it stop!

Memo to Senator Juan "Gusto ko happy ka" Enrile: I am not happy. Please draft a law that would punish promoters of such constant irritation to 20 years of reading junk text messages.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Beware of dog




They couldn't have picked a better name, homeless and unloved, these Azkals were never given a chance and was considered by the experts as merely a warm-up match for the traditional footballing nations in Southeast Asia. Practically a bye for teams Singapore, and of course, the defending champion and host Vietnam. So pathetic has been our previous participation in this tourney, once named Tiger Cup now renamed AFF Suzuki Cup, that the betting is not whether we will win or lose, but by how much we will lose. And lose we have mastered, by as much 13. That's akin to losing by 200 points in basketball.

We are not even supposed to be in the tournament, let alone tie or win a match. But saling-tuta or not, these crazy bunch would dare go. No fear of failure. Embarrassment be damned. They will do their darnedest -- for love of country and the glory of the game.

And when they tied Singapore (1-1),  embarrassed the host nation Vietnam (2-0), and secured a place in the semis by tying Myanmar (0-0), the Cinderella story is now nearly complete. Just the semis to win against Indonesia and we'll be in the finals. And our brave rabid pugs will have to do it away and away, having no home. Just another fly in the hopelessly infested ointment. But if any team can do it, I know this team can. No excuses, no multi-million contracts, no egos. These dogs simply go about their business and bite!

Go AZKALS!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Utak kuliglig


Eight out of every ten Filipinos support PNoy's administration according to the latest survey. This is in spite of the "experts" continuing their attack on the "amateur" PNoy government.

And who are these "experts"?

One congressman whose infamy includes getting all of congress to work overtime to pass the (failed) cha-cha initiative when a super typhoon was ravaging his constituency.

One senator who chaired the blue ribbon committee chairman and saw NOTHING at all wrong in the nine years of PGMA's reign.

These are the "experts" leading the charge.

With apologies to the kuliglig drivers, who want nothing more than a means of livelihood, but these experts are one with them in mentality. It matters not, whether a policy will benefit the many, or if it is against the law or common sense. What matters is "Eh ano naman ang sa akin? Ano ang pakinabang ko?"

Utak kuliglig. Walang pake kung tama o mali, basta ang kita ko ang dapat maproteksyonan.

So sure, the PNoy admin bungles in it's "amateur" attempts to DO WHAT IS RIGHT. But you know what? I am one of the 8 for every 10 Pinoys who would rather take that amateurism than the expertise by which our country was raped in the previous admin. So expert apparently, that they've embedded stooges that will continue to protect them even when they're no longer in Malacanang.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Pride



Ask me if I am proud of my country and I will tell you that you are asking me the wrong question.

Am I proud that 25 years after Edsa the Marcoses are back in power? Maybe not the presidency, but they are definitely back.

Am I proud of our PNP? The bus episode would have been really funny except that Bitoy didn't reveal himself in the end.

Am I proud that our government is known in the world as one of the most corrupt? So corrupt that our chief export is now manual labor?

Am I proud that hunger exists at all in a country so blessed that kamoteng kahoy will grow anywhere one would care to stick a cutting in the ground and not even bother to take care of it?

Am I proud that a despicable noon-time tv host is allowed to resurrect his career on primetime? And that our local televiewing choice has all but been reduced to either that despicable host or a Koreanovela, or worse, a local remake of a Koreanovela?

I can go on and on with this list. But I've sufficiently made the point. Pride at this point in our history would be false. Drink a cup of reality coffee in the morning, I'd advise you.

Don't get me wrong. There are a few bright spots we can genuinely be proud of. Manny Pacquiao for one. Charice Pempengco another. And maybe a few more makes the short list. But that's just the point. The bright spots are too few and far between.

So ask me another question.

Do I love my country?

Yes. Definitely. And I will tell you why.

I love that, as a people, we are able to forgive. Not always a positive attribute, as in the case of the Marcoses, but there it is, we forgive. We don't hold grudges.

I love that we've successfully deposed of two presidents with minimal blood shed. More people die when the Bulls win championships for Chicago. We are a kind people. Violence, as in the case of the terrorist Abu Sayyafs, is rightly condemned as so "UN-FILIPINO" -- not that the Abus want to be known as Filipinos in the first place.

I love that we can lose everything but never our ability to smile. Even in misery, we smile. It might not make sense to another nationality but as a Filipino we all know what that is all about. Life is hard. We've come to terms with it. We are not going to let that little fact bring us down any more than it has to. We are alright.

There are pros and there are cons to being Filipino. But I was making this list, I've come to this realization. I love my country for almost the same exact reason I love my mother. I know she is not the best mother in the world. I know all her faults. She may embarrass me at times. But warts and all, I love her -- simply because she is my mother.

And what is so important about this love, you ask? I love her enough that I want to make her proud.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Facebook status


my latest Facebook update

It's the internet equivalent of "I have to tell you something, but first promise me you won't get mad."



Wednesday, December 1, 2010

And the survey says...


from the Inquirer.net

This is not a joke. The magic number for the RH Bill is actually 69. 

No, read that correctly, 69 is not the suggested natural method of birth control. That's 69 percent of the population favors the RH bill. 

Apparently, the people of Pulse Asia didn't go to high school. I would have rounded off the number to 70, just to avoid the confusion.

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For the few of you who know me in real life, my dear kamag-anak inc., and friends from my Facebook account, please know that while I blog mostly about my life and my posts are made in the first person point of view, I do, from time to time, exercise literary license. Yes, I lie! Lol. No. Some of the stories depicted here are fiction. That I do not tell which is which, makes it a little more fun, doesn't it?

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Mungo Conspiracy would like to thank:

Kuya Bing for all the support without which I would not have been able to start this blog. My baby sister Charo, who has always been my number one fan. Gie for twisting Kuya Bing's arms to lend me support. Rocky for being the first follower. Chris for the free ad space on MTC.

I would also like to mention Kuya Jong and Kuya Rolly, Rex, Kim, and all of my pumpkins, Dustin, Innah, Jonas, Danwell, Glea, Jiro, Ram, Yzab, Hannah, and Annika, who are my inspirations for many of my stories here.

And thanks to the Iligan Chapter of the conspirators who were the first to fill-up my followers' box! :)

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email : mungoconspiracy@gmail.com