The best thing

Last time I checked, William Gates III, co-founder of MicroSoft, had 38 billion US dollars to his name. For awhile back there, he was the only man on the planet who can lose 37 billion dollars in Texas hold ‘em poker one night and wake up still a billionaire the next morning. Now that is truly impressive.

I did quick calculations, figured how much money Bill made, spread out for every second of his life since birth, and came up with over 20 US dollars. I am not so easily impressed, but show me a guy who can average more than 20 USD every second from birth and that would impress even me.

But that got me thinking. At what point did the billions stop making a difference? Would an 11 billion US dollar billionaire live just a little more prudent than a 12 billion US dollar billionaire? Would his private jets be just that little less ostentatious? Would defecating on a diamond studded golden bowl be more satisfying than my normal immaculately clean white porcelain bowl?

I’ve not tried defecating on gold, so I cannot really speak from experience. But I can imagine that it cannot be that great. So for 15 minutes every morning, when I defecate on my normal porcelain bowl and Bill on his, I imagine, diamond studded golden bowl, he is really not that much better off than me.

I tried imagining the rest of Bill’s normal day, and comparing that with mine, and I imagined that there was really no big difference, for at least, most of the day. Lunch is lunch. And I can eat anything I want, having no health issues. Does Bill need to watch his salt intake? Poor rich man!

But I am sure, even just one billion dollars would have perks. Hey, if I can afford it, I’d probably get me one of those diamond studded golden bowls I’ve heard so much about. And as I endure the hours of traffic in my daily commute to and from work, I am sure a billion dollars would come handy somewhere in there.

But on the other hand, foregoing the normal hassles of daily life, as I know it, also means missing the perks. Bill, in his chauffeur driven limo, would never have the quiet thrill of some random cute chick choosing to sit right beside him. Life is not without trade-offs.

I love my job and it pays me reasonably well. That is all I need. So when some social climbing jerk-off mentions Paris or New York, “Never been?” I often find myself replying, “No, but have you ever been to Zabarte Road, Novaliches?”

By my own twisted measure, that makes us even. In fact, I am a little ahead, if you really think about it. I can easily find New York and Paris on the Discovery Channel. Try waiting for the Zabarte Road, Novaliches episode.

Tell me, how much happier would I be if I’ve gone to New York or Paris instead of Zabarte? I met the love of my life in Zabarte. It is there that she gave me the sweetest “yes”.

For that one moment at least, even without the billions, my heart could hardly contain my happiness.

The cliché, for the most part, holds. The best things in life are free.