Roid rage
I used to be tall. And by “used to” I don’t mean to imply that I have shrunk. I am still five feet nine inches tall. Five feet nine inches used to be tall. Today, a quick stroll through SM reveals that I am now, at best, average.
So what happened? These kids nowadays are huge! Manila Water, in a desperate attempt to manufacture the first Pinoy NBA baller added something new in the water perhaps? As I order my 14 year old nephew his favorite 2 piece chicken with extra rice, bewildered at his almost 6 foot frame (the kid is 14 for crying out loud!), I suddenly realized, it is not the water. The answer was staring me in the face. These chickens are 40 days hatched from the egg straight to the slaughterhouse, grown at the most efficient industrial pace possible.
How do they do it?
The same way they’ve made the 10 second barrier no longer a barrier in the 100 meter Olympic sprint, I imagine. Ten seconds used to be an unbreakable mark. Today, anything slower than that and you don’t even make it to the final race.
Don’t be naive. Evolution doesn’t work that fast. And survival of the fittest only works if running 100 meters under 10 means you’ve escaped being eaten by a cheetah or something. It is not natural. Don’t be an idiot.
Yes, you know what I am talking about here. And we all know how the food chain works. If mercury can work it's way up to the nth level in the chain, it's probably safe to assume that most everything else probably can too.
As I hand my nephew his meal, I worry. So when does the roid rage start kicking in?
(thanks to Amante of MTC for the additional inputs to this theory)
Anything "longer" than 10 secs! Not less.
ReplyDeleteLonger than 10 secs means you performed "less".
ReplyDeletePero sige na nga, kino-rect ko na rin. "Slower" na ngayon para wala ng debate. =D
ReplyDeleteWhat is funny is looking at the U.K. and some parts of the U.S. and Europe who are pushing for "organic" food.
ReplyDeleteThe hormones and the fertilizers were meant for better profit and the demand for the ever-growing population.
Pansin ko nga yan... kids are taller now.
ReplyDeleteMy conspiracy theories are "funny" because there is some grain of truth in it. Not to say that we should take the issue lightly, of course. But who says we can't have a sense of humor about it? But yeah, I really do worry about what the industrial machinery puts into our food for a quick profit. Mad cow disease was one such experiment that went so terribly wrong. And the Brit government made an effort to cover it up, until they can not cover the stench anymore.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what they put in the food these days.
ReplyDeleteMy nephews are 6'3" and 5'11" at 18 and 16 respectively. Barring the fact that my sister and her husband are tall themselves, but still 18 and 16 with their height???
Talking about inferiority complex maximus, as I am the shortest in the family standing at 5'5"! Then you see teenagers in the mall with 5'5" height and they're only 12! What is this world coming to? A world filled with giants?
Sounds like a tiki-tiki conspiracy to me. Hehehe.
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't have been star margarine. My grandma used to stuff me with that stuff and all I got was FAT. Hahaha.
Yun namang mas bagong henerasyon, malamang cherifer na. Hehehe. Nalaos kas9i bigla Tiki-tiki dahil (siguro) sa Tiki-tiki jokes. :)