Top ten list

With apologies to the Late Show with David Letterman (idol!), here is my top ten list of "Things you will hear on P-Noy's SONA on Monday":


10. Good news, Kris Aquino's move to the US is permanent.


9.  Better news, the DILG has discovered that refined diesel fuel complete with all the additives occurs naturally in Makati.


8. Best news, government will retake San Miguel Corp. New government policy, 4-5 pm Fridays is Happy Hour.


7. Boy Abunda appointed new czar on Wowowee affairs (permanently displacing Willie).


6. Budget deficit solved! Banko Sentral will just print more money.


5. Pampanga second district, now part of "axis of evil".


4. Ang Galing Pinoy Party List, declared a "destabilizer" and "terrorist organization".


3. Pasig river to be given new more accurate and appropriate name, "Pasig sewer system".


2. New tactic on the war on poverty, declare ceasefire. Bilateral talks with poverty set on September.


1. Gloria? She's going to prison.